Sometimes, we are in so much pain we forget that within that spiral of darkness, there is light. Sometimes we just need to step beyond our shadow, look at it, and see what it is attempting to tell us, teach us.

The day I took this picture, I was playing with my shadows at a sand dune on a golf course and when I looked at my iPhone and saw the picture, it brought back waves of reflection of the days of youth where I was trapped within this shadow of fear, pain, and deep sorrow and loss.

The biggest “aha” in that moment was remembering that I always chose to find the light, no matter how dark it got.

We are amazingly strong-willed human beings with depths of compassion with inborn, innate love. When we can learn to let go of the situation, thank the situation, and move beyond the situation, an entire new spiral of life begins anew. Remember that  no matter what, tomorrow is a new day. Sometimes we get so stuck in a moment we forget that we can, if we choose to, walk away from that moment and move into a new one.

We don’t need to live in the past. We do need to move beyond the past with a new sense of self and awareness from the growth we experienced in the process. To regret the darkness is in a sense regretting you were born, for without those experiences you wouldn’t be who you are today.  To me, each day is a new “Happy Re-Birthday”.  Each day, no matter what is going on, is a new day to choose how I will either react or embrace and celebrate the new day.

Life is a limitless Kaleidoscope, a playground of sounds, textures, feelings, experiences and perceptions. Our imagination and creativity is the birthing place of all things possible.  Be willing to let the drama, hurt, pain of any and all situations go so that you can be open to new paths and choices.

At the end of the day, it is our attitude that will either make us or break us, lift us or drown us. We can either take things as feedback or criticism it is all a matter of perception.

Enjoy the Journey of life and use your experiences to empower, teach, and inspire others. There is always someone, somewhere just waiting to hear exactly at the precise moment what you have to say and share.

How many times have you read a book and went “OMG, I can so relate,” etc…. Never take for granted your experiences or wisdom, and never be afraid or embarrassed, because that very thing you withhold could be the very thing that could save somebody else’s life.

Another Midnight Production written by: © 2013 Carly Alyssa Thorne

When going through your workday, working on business management or figuring out where your career is taking you, it’s good to know that you’re not the first to struggle with your work life. Take inspiration from these people who have known both sides of success.

“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.”
— Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin

“Lost time is never found again.”

“Early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”

“Diligence is the mother of good luck.”

“Well done is better than well said.”

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”

“You will find the key to success under the alarm clock.”

Winston Churchill

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

“Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it.”

“It’s no use saying, ‘We are doing our best.’ You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.”

“A man is very apt to complain of the ingratitude of those who have risen far above him.” —Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.”

“There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”

“Ambition is the germ from which all growth of nobleness proceeds.”

“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.”

Oprah Winfrey

“I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.”

“Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”

Wisdom from Athletes

“No matter how good you get, you can always get better, and that’s the exciting part.”  — Tiger Woods

“Take your victories, whatever they may be, cherish them, use them, but don’t settle for them.”  — Mia Hamm

“Why are you going to choose failure when success is an option?”  — Jillian Michaels

“If you’re not gonna go all the way, why go at all?”  — Joe Namath

Comedians

“Inside every cynical person is a disappointed idealist.”
—George Carlin

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”  — Woody Allen

“Some people see things that are and ask, why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”  — George Carlin

“When you take risks, you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.”  — Ellen DeGeneres

And the Rest …

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”  — Truman Capote

“If you care about what you do and work hard at it, there isn’t anything you can’t do if you want to.”  — Jim Henson

“We are all failures—at least the best of us are.”  — J.M. Barrie

“Rich people have small TVs and big libraries, and poor people have small libraries and big TVs.”  — Zig Ziglar

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funnybone.”  — Reba McEntire

“Fortune sides with him who dares.”  — Virgil

“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”  — Will Rogers

“Act the way you’d like to be, and soon you’ll be the way you’d like to act.”  — Bob Dylan

“Our business in life is not to succeed, but to continue to fail in good spirits.”  —  Robert Louis Stevenson

“When you go in search of honey, you must expect to be stung by bees.”  — Joseph Joubert

“Just pick a goal and stick to it – no big complicated secret.”  — Richelle E. Goodrich

If you ever begin to lose inspiration, keep these quotes in mind. Keep working hard and one day, they’ll be writing down the quotes you made.

Photo credits: Edillalo, CrazyComedy, WildeChild1287

It’s no surprise that infidelity and divorce leaves you angry and bitter. This is normal. This is natural. And when I look back at that difficult time, I like to reminisce about some of the bitter, angry things I did to get through the day. They strike me as funny today.

I know we are supposed to take care of ourselves, but it’s also great when you can look back at the things you did to get rid of some of the toxic feelings and laugh.

It’s okay to laugh out loud at yourself!

For me, I took abject delight in an incident that happened at my youngest son’s preschool.  Since my ex and his girlfriend got a toe hold before I did, most people thought the girlfriend was my son’s mother. This sent me into paroxysm like nothing else. During the school year I sat in the back while she and my ex and her children sat in the front like the perfect family. She brought roses for each child’s mother at graduation, a large cake and gifts for the kids. You would have thought the Pope was there singing “You are my sunshine” for all the fuss they made.

Slinking out the back, avoiding my own children because I could tell my presence embarrassed them, I did my best to hide behind the floral arrangement that my ex brought for the pre-school teacher that signified to me the death of my marriage. That’s when I heard the girlfriend calling my name.

“Run!” I whispered to my companion who happened to be a 28-year-old hottie and more than a few years younger… cougar fodder for the other mothers. He told me to stand strong and face her. He held my hand when I turned around.

“This is for you because you are one of the mothers,” she said, handing me a white rose. I really wanted to bitch-slap her with the flower and ask her who she is kidding, but my youngest son was standing there with happy eyes that mommy was getting a flower. I wanted to ask her to stop picking up said son and asking people if he looks like her,  but I swallowed my bitterness. It was awkward and stupid and I wanted to scream.

The best part was the following day which was my custodial day and I got to take my son to the pre-school after party at the bouncy house. The mothers that I had avoided for a year all sat around like hens in the barn yard – pecking away at each other about whose child was better, brighter, prettier and more athletic.

No one talked to me except one mother who looked at me and stated that I was so lucky to have such a wonderful stepmother for my children. That she is amazing and I should count my lucky stars. She went on to say that she is such a good friend to all of them.

I smiled in my own catty way and said, “I used to feel that way. She was my good friend until she started sleeping with my husband in my home while taking a paycheck from me when I was pregnant with my son. It made for a really awkward baby shower, you know?”

Dead silence would have been deafening. I don’t know what story my ex and his girlfriend spun, but it clearly wasn’t what these women experienced. I know it was totally rude, mean, bitter, angry and bitchy for me to drop a bomb like that at a children’s party, but I did it and like a bird flying out of your mouth, there was no taking it back. So I sat there smugly, smiling a little because every dog has his day and that day was mine.

I never saw those women again. At least I don’t remember them if I meet them, but I’m for darn sure that they remember me. Did I air dirty laundry – like it was flapping in the winds of a tornado. I sure did. Do I regret it? Nah, not so much. What was a pivotal moment for me of speaking up and no longer shuddering in silence, was probably just a few days of gossip for others over “Did you hear what she said?”.

Learning to laugh at ourselves even in moments that we might not do today is a big part of Bouncing with Style. No one is perfect. Sometimes we say things we regret. Sometimes we say things we don’t. Have some fun with the bitterness and anger. And don’t judge yourself too harshly for the things you do!

It’s all part of Bouncing with Style because sometimes we Bounce.. .sometimes we ricochet off the wall out of control! Laugh. It’s okay.

No matter what you do or who you are, life is filled with challenging moments. At times, navigating through the obstacles that lie between health, wealth and happiness can be downright miserable.

Struggle is common to the human condition. But the ability to embrace the struggle and move forward despite it is surprisingly uncommon. This is what keeps this country spending 190 billion dollars a year on obesity related illnesses. This is why only 4% of Americans are millionaires.

How can we change this? How do we welcome struggle and keep charging onward to an empowered destiny.

To find an answer, let us rip a page from Gandhi’s playbook.

This one action gave Gandhi the strength he needed

Gandhi had it tougher than most. Defeating the British Empire after almost 90 years in India without throwing a single stone or swinging a single fist was no easy task. Yet through an iron will, he led the people of India to freedom from outside rule.

Despite all the challenges he faced, from fighting against the British in a non-violent manner to the numerous fasts that almost killed him to the battle against his own people during his efforts to promote peace between the different religions in India (a battle that eventually led to his assassination) Gandhi persevered and refused to surrender to circumstance.

So how did he do it? How did he stay in the right state to face any obstacle?

In his own words:

“If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.”

All it took was the ability to find something to laugh about in any situation. That skill kept Gandhi alive and fighting every day until the day he died.

It sounds simple, but it’s a lot more challenging than you think. Especially when everything seems to be going wrong and the world seems out to get you.

But it is often in the harshest of times that we unearth the infinite capacity of the human potential.

During my 7-month tour of Iraq with the US Marines, I had the unfortunate role of having to walk out in front of our 3-vehicle convoy every time we crossed a dangerous stretch of road that presented a threat of a potential Improvised Explosive Device. This could have meant a bridge, a road surrounded by large patches of sand or just a stretch of road that any member of our squad felt uneasy on.

My job was to walk out in front of the convoy with another Marine in order to scan each side of the road for wires or explosives. Consequently, if anyone would be blown up, it would be the other Marine on the ground or myself.

Despite the terrifying reality of this situation, it became a daily source of humor that I would be blown up.

A morbid sense of humor perhaps, but if we didn’t laugh about it, what else could we do?

Developing this ability is simple. No matter how bad the situation you find yourself in, ask yourself: what is funny about this?

It may sound overly simple, but that is really all there is to it.

All thought is a question or an answer to question. Once we are aware of this, we can empower our thought and consciously choose to direct it where we want it to go by asking ourselves the right questions.

For example, let’s say you find yourself standing on a porch on a rainy day and I were to ask you, “Isn’t it miserable outside today?” Your mind would immediately focus on all that is wrong with the weather. If, on the other hand, I were to ask you, “Isn’t a rainy day the most beautiful thing in the world?” You would then focus on the beauty of the event.

The questions we ask ourselves shape what we focus on, which in turn controls our state of being, which then shapes the actions we take. To get everything you want in life, begin by asking yourself the right questions.

And one of the most empowering questions you can ask yourself is: what is funny about this?

Laughter is a great transition state. Moving directly from a disempowered state to an empowered one is near impossible when we are immersed in the demons within our mind. A sense of humor facilitates the change by releasing endorphins, which are chemicals known for their feel-good effect.

If you can find humor within the depths of hell, you will be farther ahead in the journey toward success than most of the planet.

To further condition the habit of humor, as soon as you finish reading this, write down three to five things that went well in your day today. Three to five successes that you can celebrate and find joy in from your day, no matter how small or large they may seem.

Practice this exercise at the end of every day and you will find a noticeable increase in your overall life fulfillment.

Studies have shown that this simple exercise has not only reduced depression in clinically diagnosed patients, but improved the quality of life for the average individual as well.

Gandhi was no different from you and me, he just knew the power of taking one simple action over time. With that power, he managed to defeat an empire.

What will you do with your power?

We have all come home from a run or the gym and felt the wellness benefits, both physical and mental. Sweating out the problems of the day, we can feel pleased with ourselves and leave the worries and stresses of everyday life behind. Something about it invokes a clarity in our mind and hearts.

So what is the connection between exercise, relaxing ourselves and general wellness and how can we enhance this? Firstly let us look at situations where things just aren’t happening.

Losing Motivation

Mental stress causes real problems when we are attempting something. I see it all the time working in a business environment. But it doesn’t just happen at work. Everybody on earth has experienced the stream of endless and meaningless thoughts that crop up in the mind, not just runners.

Think back to a time when you have been lying in bed unable to sleep. Never-ending banter and thoughts make you agitated and restless. As a result, you toss and turn and cannot rest. The mind will do this 24/7 unless you learn to control it.

Any doubts or negativities will directly affect your mood and performance, whether it is at work or in a fitness situation. I found it happened when training for an ultra-marathon: getting myself depressed about another run or the jog meant I would I lose all enthusiasm.

Photo Credit: Prabhakar Street

For example, I went for a run the other day and just couldn’t get in the zone. There was no flow. I got every single traffic light on the way to the bush trails, everything ached, and I wanted to walk. My mind kept telling me how torturous this particular run was and the best thing about it was finishing.

It happens to us all. When we hit the wall exercising, our bodies have reached tipping point and our minds will chime in with its two cents worth. It’s funny though, most of us will keep going. It would be much simpler to quit, easier to catch a bus home and sit on the couch, but we don’t.

Something inside us won’t give up and we keep moving forward trying to reach the goal. Stress management techniques involve touching on this something to help maintain positivity, health and general wellbeing despite being in what could be considered a ‘stressful’ situation. During a run, my heart rate is elevated, I am sweating and tired… just like a tough day at work.

Combining Exercise with Relaxation Techniques

If you have ever tried meditation or stress management techniques formally, it is probably not that foreign to you. Everyone has meditated sometime or another. Being under a canopy of stars, the simple smile of a child, the vastness of an ocean, the power of a mountain, they stir something inside us and make us feel uplifted. It is the same when exercising.

During strenuous physical activity it’s certainly possible to maintain clarity and peace. Nature helps carry you. Your mind and body feel purified. Fitness regimes push us to take that extra step, to move forward despite obstacles, to transcend ourselves, to make progress. The further or harder you go, the deeper you have to dig. Exercise is a simple thing. We are forced to be focused and positive. If we don’t, it’s very noticeable and you have a tough run, just like I did.

It makes sense to combine meditation and sport on a more formal level. Many great sportsmen talk about moments of absolute conviction before a major victory or event. They feel at peace with the race, game, or task ahead. Nothing is forced and as a result, victory or achievement just flows. Watch any professional tennis star about to receive a serve. They are deep in concentration.

Nine time Olympic gold medalist Carl Lewis meditated before his big races. “I would just go quiet and try to listen for the farthest sound away… just having my peace, where it all stops and you’re just aware of where you need to be,” he once commented. “Every record I set, I knew it was a record because it was the easiest race I ran.”

To do well in sport (or anything for that matter), you need focus, clarity and concentration; skills that can be learnt through formal practice. The repetitive movement and regular breathing in running for example helps induce a calm and reflective mind, with it comes a positive power. I have been 2000 kilometres into an ultra and sometimes I felt like I had the strength of ten men coursing through my body.

A Relaxation Exercise

Do this exercise sitting upright in a chair. It is advisable to practice with your eyes open so you can use it while at work or excecising.

• Choose a quality like “peace”
• Breathe in this quality into the mind and body, relaxing all your muscles
• Breathe out the opposite, in this case anything that takes away your peace such as stress, restlessness and intruding thoughts

Then, try the same thing while exercising and try other positive qualities such as power, joy or strength.

I wrote a story last week about Denver’s Rockmount Ranch Wear. It’s a six-decade business that was started by “Papa” Jack Weil, who joyously ran the company until he was 107. He showed up every day, sat at his little wooden desk in the front of the store and was widely regarded as the world’s oldest CEO.

He wasn’t, as far as I know, a student of metaphysics, but the reason his business was so successful and that his snap-button Western shirts are the go-to shirt for everyone from Eric Clapton and Tom Hanks to Robert Redford and Paul McCartney (he wore not one, but two different Rockmount shirts the night he hosted Saturday Night Live) is because Papa Jack believed the following things.

“It’s not who you are that matters. It’s what your dreams are.”

Papa Jack’s grandson, Steve, runs the business today. He wrote a book called Ask Papa Jack: Wisdom of the World’s Oldest CEO that gives powerful insight into that magical component of always believing in possibilities, in dreams, in what could be. Forget what looks like reality. Dream! That’s where everything comes from anyway.

“The government predicts possible 7 percent unemployment. If it goes to 10 percent, there will still be 90 percent working, consuming, buying.”

Wow! By focusing on what’s working (nine-tenths of the population is still out there consuming), you get more of what’s working. Most of us zero right in on that 10 percent figure, on the thing that isn’t working. Well, guess what? You get more of what isn’t working. Why focus on anything but what you want?

“I was always thinking of something new. And I never stopped enjoying myself, not for a minute.”

He nailed it on the head with that one. Love what you do. It’s the door to everything. Enjoy yourself and never STOP enjoying yourself, not for even one split moment.

The reason Ang Lee used Rockmount Shirts in his Oscar-winning Brokeback Mountain (the shirts worn by Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal are forever entwined and displayed at L.A’s Autry National Center) is because he could feel the love Papa Jack put into all of his products, into creating, into dreaming.

“Every morning I read the obits, and if my name is not there, I get dressed and go to work.”

Papa Jack had a great sense of humor. He believed in making things fun. If it isn’t fun, why bother? That’s the key. Always focus on the fun. Infuse joy and delight into everything you do.

“Relationships are everything.”

Papa Jack was forever baffled at the popularity of his shirts with such headline-makers as Ronald Reagan, Elvis Presley and even Miley Cyrus. But he was every bit as personable and valued his relationships with every customer, which when it comes to business (and pretty much everything else) is all that really matters.

So yeah, Papa Jack probably never read The Secret or studied the law of attraction, but because of his gut instincts and knowing on a deep, visceral level that relationships, love, joy and creativity are the bottom line, he created a life (and a business) that lives on long after he’s gone.

During full moon cycles we can feel like nothing is aligning; things are not going as “planned” or how we want them to.

I always say that patience and persistence is key and that it always makes sense “why” later when things are in a standstill and once the standstill is over, we are always grateful for the standstill.

Here are 3 tips to stay calm, focused and positive:

1) Journal out your frustrations on a piece of paper, later that evening burn that piece of paper and say out load “Divine, I now let go of these issues and ask you to assist me in finding a solution.”

2) Remind yourself of all the good reasons why you are seeking to achieve these goals or dreams in the first place. (ex. help others, peace, love, inspire)

3) Tell family and loved ones you need encouragement and to help keep you focused on your goals and dreams (the people that love us will always want to give positive reasons why we need to keep our chin up).

Give those three tips a try and you will see that the cloud of gloom and frustration will lift quickly and the sunshine of hope and prosperity will soon shine bright again.

This week my six-year-old son had a stomach ache. On the way to school he had an accident in his pants and since it was technically the day of obligation for my ex-husband, I called him from the school parking lot telling him that his son had the stomach flu. I was told that he would pick him up from my house that afternoon at 4:15.

Tummy Ache or Heart Ache: When Does It Stop Hurting?

I was outraged and not surprised that sick kid duty falls on me, despite the fact that I had work meetings in the city and to prepare for my live radio show in a few hours. My son was happy to stay home with me and other than making a few choice comments that his dad didn’t want him, he was relieved to be coming home.

Leaving the dad comments for the family therapist, I began to cancel my meetings from the school parking lot. My ex had told me that he was off to the gym, which really got my goat. Before I could get on the freeway, my son bent over in his seat and asked, “Mommy, when is it going to stop hurting?”

I thought about his stomach and how that paralleled my life. In some divorces, people stay friends. Some become bitter enemies. Most of us fall someplace in the middle. From what I can see from the cheap seats, it’s a lot easier to move on and heal when you don’t have to interact with your ex. When you are able to move on and forget.

When you have children, small children, and he lives one street away from you in a small town with the woman who used to be your friend and all the kids know each other it’s a lot more complicated. There are multiple daily reminders and continual interaction especially with respect to school sports and activities. Sitting alone while your ex sits with his new family at the school concert takes a joyous parenting event and makes it weird, uncomfortable and creepy.

Part of getting over the hurt is forgetting. I talk about forgiveness and the transient nature of forgiveness in other posts, but today I want to talk about forgetting. It’s much easier, I would imagine, to forget about a marriage, a spouse, or an old life when you focus on building a new life.  I can tell you from personal experience that after a long term marriage everything seems full of memories and the pain is ever simmering under the surface.

When you live in the same house, the same town, share the same friends and the same experiences, it gets a little weird – like Twilight weird. There is a Toby Keith song that has a line that says, “Who is that man living my life?”

When you divorce after a long marriage (10+years), there are so many things in common and little hurts come out of the oddest moments. Not being invited to your ex-nephew’s bar mitzvah (and the new girlfriend is), even though you were a loving aunt to this child since he was born, stings. Not being updated in the ex-family events because you are no longer legally part of the family hurts. Going to your own son’s pre-school graduation and having to bring your own chair because the “family” tickets have been used by your ex and his girlfriend and her children can make it feel like you are pushed out of your own life.

These are just some of the unexpected sadnesses that come when you divorce. I don’t want my ex-husband back. I don’t ever want to live with him again. I am so glad that part of my life is over. It was miserable. I was miserable.  The cheating and leaving were just sticky icing on the bitter cake. I think one of the hardest things to come to grips with is the loss of the future, the loss of the family you had pictured in your head. When your spouse has an affair or affairs, it really does a number on your vision of your life and your family. When things are not what they appear you start to question everything about that old life – was it all a lie? I have asked myself that a million times.

Recently I spoke with a man I know, who was actively cheating on his wife with his own air-tight justifications. I asked him, “How am I to know that you aren’t lying in our friendship? I mean, the relationship with your wife is one of the most important and you have almost grown children together. How can you be truthful in one relationship and not in another? I don’t think you can. I know I can’t.”

When does it stop hurting? For some of us it doesn’t. The more you value the concept of family, the more it’s going to hurt and the longer it’s going to last. I have had a lot of people over the years say to me, “It’s just a divorce. It happens all the time. Just get over it.” Many of the people who tell you that never experienced the after effects of a long term divorce with adultery and small children. They don’t get it.

My answer to them and to others is simple. “If I knew how and I could, don’t you think I would?”

It’s no fun to hurt. My little son wanted relief from a morning tummy ache, so why would we not as adults want relief from a massive, life changing heartache that requires you to rebound, rebuild and restore yourself? A divorce for many of us who took our marriage and family to heart, who made it our whole center of being, are going to struggle more than those who only put their toe in the water. Those who were betrayed, cheated on, lied to and abandoned are going to have a harder time restoring themselves than someone who left for their new life with their new wife and their new family.

We need to put things in perspective: not every divorce is the same and not everyone reacts the same. The important thing is that you recognize what it was to you and how you are going to react. Not anyone else.

I’ve always been a little late to every party. I’m not the first, or the best, or the brightest, and I have to do things in my own time frame and in my own way. I can tell by the comments I get on my other posts pertaining to divorce, betrayal and pain that we all suffer the same things – just at different times, in different intensities and on different levels. What I have learned from going through this process and watching others is that there is no one right way to grieve or get over the loss of a spouse or a marriage.

Divorce sucks and it hurts and your kids suffer. You have to let go of the vision you had of your life when you got married and had kids and that was really disorienting for me. For the first year I didn’t know who I was now because of these new labels – single mother, ex-wife, and immediately my children had a step-mother figure?  It was like getting hit by a truck. On the calendar it looked like I had time to adjust. In person it was just a Mr. Toad’s Wild Divorce ride and you got off and your family was on one side of the track with new siblings and a new mother while you got out of the wrong side of the car and stood on the track alone not able to find the exit.

My best advice for Bouncing with Style after divorce is accepting that, like a death, pain follows divorce.  You have to feel it, process it, and expect it to not go away just because you want it to. There is the death of a dream in this on for many of us– and that too is hard. I’ve decided that sadness is going to accompany for a while until it doesn’t. I have painted, journaled, sang, ran, lifted weights, prayed, meditated, lit things on fire and talked to a professional therapist until I can’t stand hearing my own voice.

Time does help. Keeping busy does help. Focusing on what you do have helps. Learning to live with the sadness feels a lot better than fighting it and to Bounce with Style I think you need to carry the knowledge with you that with the loss of anything important to you comes sadness.

Everyone experiences the unpleasantness of negative energies from time to time. Whether the negativity is a result of being around negative people or situations, or we bring it on ourselves, the fact is that unless the negative vibes are eliminated or at the very least restricted from growing, negativity has a way of creeping into all areas of our lives.

You Cannot Avoid Negativity

Release negativity with creativity.

Since negativity cannot be totally avoided, it is best to develop a plan for dealing with it. Fortunately, with a little effort and planning, we can release negativity in positive and artistic ways. In doing so, we not only get rid of the less than pleasant energies, but in some cases, something beautiful may be created in the process.

Determine which activities can capture your focus and energies; these are the ones that will be most helpful when you need to release negativity. Some are better suited for certain personalities and preferences than others. Ideally, you should consider each of these and other options before you are actually experiencing negative energies.

Idea #1: Arrange Flowers

You don’t have to be a professional florist to design flower arrangements, and you can work with everything from silk flowers to fresh cut flowers from your garden. Just take the time to get creative and put your focus on the beauty of the flowers. Design the arrangement in a way that is pleasing to you. After you have the basic arrangement created, you can add touches of greenery, baby’s breath, or even small ribbons and other decorative items.

Idea #2: Color

Believe it or not, coloring in a coloring book, just like you did as a kid, can be very therapeutic. You can be as detailed as you want to be.

Another thing you might want to consider is being creative in a new sort of way. For instance, instead of making a sky blue, why not make it pink or red and color the sun green or black? The point is, you can make the pictures into whatever you can imagine. It’s fun, it’s silly, and it’s very relaxing!

Idea #3: Play With Clay

Playing with clay (or even with playdough) can be a great way to release stress and tension. After all, you can squeeze and squish the material in your hand and feel it oozing between your fingers. That alone can be a spectacular way to get rid of negative energy.

Getting in touch with the kid inside you is a great way to release negative energy.

But when you truly focus on the fact that you can use the clay to create an object, your mind and hands begin to work together to form something unique and wonderful. You can work to create something that mimics life, or you can create something from your imagination.

Other Artistic Ways to Release Negativity

There are lots of other artistic and creative ways to release negative energy. For example, some people may enjoy painting or drawing. Others might find relief by writing. This could be in the form of journaling, writing a book, blogging, or even writing a letter that is designed never to be delivered.

Some individuals may find that music is the best way to release negativity. They may sing their way to positive emotions or play a musical instrument. Others may simply enjoy dancing to the fabulous sounds of music.

Final Thoughts

There isn’t a right or wrong way to release negative energies. As long as the method is safe to you and does not hurt anyone else, then give it a try. The point is, your good health depends on the body, mind, and spirit working together harmoniously. If the negativity is not released, it can lead to countless other problems.

Photo Credit: posterize at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Photo Credit: sattva at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Here are seven keys to happiness that you can do right now to get yourself on the road to happiness, with some inspirational quotes to help!

1. You make the choice.
“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

2. Focus on today, not yesterday or what is to come.
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” ~ Helen Keller

3. Be grateful for what you have.
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” ~ Frederick Keonig

4. Help someone else find happiness.
“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

5. Get rid of some of your less valuable desires.
“You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy.” ~ Eric Hoffer

6. Do what you enjoy doing.
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” ~ Albert Schweitzer

7. At the very least do something to fill your time.
“Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli

Happiness is an inside job®.

Life’s a bumpy road; we can all agree on that. You’re not going to avoid it. Stuff just happens.

The trick is to avoid falling into the ten foot holes. Chances are, no one will be there with an eleven foot ladder to help you out.

What I mean is don’t walk around with the expectation that someone else is going to rescue you, fix it for you, or bail you out. This message is especially aimed at young women. Someone may have taught you that having a man in your life will ‘fix everything’. That a man will take care of you; will always be there with a safety net.

THAT IS JUST NOT TRUE!

This posting is from a senior member of your tribe. A woman who has been around a long time and has had several long-term, serious relationships. For the most part, I was always the one with the ladder helping a spouse, a friend, a relative out of their holes. When I fell into mine (and there were many of them), my rescuers had left the building!

You should prepare to live your life with a minimum of ten foot holes in your life. Use your common sense, if it (or he) seems too good to be true that’s because it (he) is… too good to be true. If your ‘gut’ - your inner GPS - tells you that what you are about to do is wrong, LISTEN! And since you’re not going to be able to have a perfect life without challenges, be prepared to help yourself… be self reliant, strong, and resourceful.

Now, here’s the good news. If you’re smart, and I know you are, you will surround yourself with people that are helpful and kind. And it’s okay to take help where it is offered. It is good to help others too. And if you are very fortunate you will have a life partner that helps and supports you… as you will them.

In the meantime, develop yourself into an empowered, independent, strong, brave person. Just in case!

So that no matter what life throws at you, you can rescue yourself. You won’t need to carry around an eleven foot ladder either. Because you won’t travel the road with ten foot holes on it, in the first place. You’ll be traveling the smooth road of good choices, common sense, and self-respect!

Is it time to build your playlist? You know this: You’ve got the playlist for getting jobs done around the house, a playlist that will help you to start the day, and a playlist to make your feet move faster when you’re checking “exercise” off your to-do list. It’s time to stretch the list of songs that will get your creative vibe going even stronger. Enjoy this little collection of songs and inspiring videos to get your mojo going. Let’s go!

Katy Perry’s “Firework” is such a great song on so many levels, but check out this clip of how she teamed up with Jodi, a sweet, young girl who, with the help of music, works hard to overcome her autistic tendencies. This inspiring video will have you remembering Katy and Jodi’s version of this particular song for a long while. And if Jodi can get motivated through music – so can you.

If you’re not already a Katy Perry fan, you probably will be after watching this. Enjoy, and pass this one along to a friend who needs a bit of encouragement.

Baby, you’re a firework… Let your colors burst!

“I find it easier when I come back again; I start back where I left myself when, when I started to figure it out…”

Isn’t that just the coolest line? Lesser known Cara Aley has such inspiring and relatable lyrics. Her tunes playing in the background will get you going, and they’ll inspire you to really think about what it is, exactly, that you want for yourself.

Do you want to spend more time painting, drawing, developing a new yoga routine, writing, singing, playing, sculpting, dancing, or creating? Keep her tunes wafting through the air, especially as you wake up in the morning or take a drive in the country.

Heather Small hit one out of the park with this one when she shared “Proud.” This song is addictive and such a great way to start the day! Soak it in. Really listen to the words. Who, in the artistic (or any other) world doesn’t know the pangs of insecurity of putting original work out there, of taking a healthy risk, or perfecting that phenomenal dance move, phrasing or color?

We need to remind ourselves on a regular basis to just believe in ourselves – because we know this truth: Our art makes us feel good. So, what have you done today to make yourself feel proud? After you listen to this one, you’ll be bringing that question to the pillow every single night.

In any month, George Winston will inspire you, but “December” is in a league of its own.

George Winston brings through his music such a calming force, doesn’t he? There’s magic in those fingertips.

While we’ll take him in any month, his “December” is arguably the best and most resonating work. You’ll breathe more deeply. The coffee will taste smoother. You’ll reflect inward and just go to that place that clears your head and gets your peaceful. That’s usually when the creative juices will start to flow again, right? Take a break from your busy head, and just sit back and close your eyes. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.

Come on, sit back, and just soak in Chicago’s “You’re the Inspiration.” It’ll either inspire you to jog down Memory Lane – or to laugh at really hard ‘80s hair and the tight and shiny clothes. Those poor ‘80s! That decade sure did inspire a lot of great music though, didn’t it?

Find the music that works for you, and build your playlist. Let it start playing in the background a few minutes or an hour before you want to start anew with your artistic side. Enjoy the ride, and keep on sharing your talents with the world. Odds are, you will be the one doing the inspiring very soon!

I have been asked a number of times in women’s groups, women’s recovery groups and group counseling to share my story. I was listening in one of these groups the other night where I was a speaker and I hear the same things over and over and I want to share them here.

I am doing this because when we share the same feelings in a similar experience we no longer feel alone, isolated, or well… just plain crazy.  When your spouse cheats on you, many of the following can happen to you:

1. You might feel dizzy, disoriented, and the world which was safe suddenly seems frightening, overwhelming and foreign.
2. You might cry, shake, shiver and feel sick on and off for a while.
3. You might have nightmares, wake up crying in your sleep, or wake up and feel good only for a moment, then reality sets in.
4. You might be afraid of your spouse – want to rage and hide at the same time.
5. You might not know what to say to people. Some people tell everything. Other people don’t want anyone to know.
6. You might want to not know anything about the affair or you might want to know everything.
7. You might wonder if everything was a lie.
8. You might feel as if you will never love or trust again.
9. You might feel angry at the affair partner and not your spouse, both of them, or just your spouse.
10. You might have a hard time comprehending what was going on and where you were and why you did not know or suspect.
11. You might eat a lot or eat nothing at all. Foods have a lot of memories attached and special dinners and meals can be very painful.
12. You might turn into a super-spy, checking every receipt, phone bill and email.
13. You might feel humiliated and embarrassed, even though this was your spouse’s choice and find it hard to go out of the house or to be with friends and family.
14. You might feel angry, numb, sad, frustrated, hopeless, depressed, relieved, floored, shocked at any time, at any place, and these feelings can roll all-in together or come in waves or not at all.
15. You might have a hard time making new friends and dating or putting your marriage back together.
16. You might wonder what they said about you, if they laughed about you and made fun of you during the affair.
17. You might feel this is all your fault. You weren’t thin, pretty, smart, loving, attractive, sexy or whatever enough. You might be told this by your spouse so you can take the blame that belongs to them.
18. You might feel like you want to die, that life will never be the same and it wont, or that you want to go live where no one knows you.
19. You might look at your children and feel you failed them because your spouse had an affair.
20. You might not know what to do, where to turn or even know who you are anymore.

These were some of the common themes I heard that night. I know I felt a lot of them. I think they feel worse or stronger the longer you were married and the more you valued your marriage and family. I don’t think I missed one of these over the past few years since my marriage ended after my ex-husband had multiple affairs. I think it’s really important that someone puts these down in writing, so other people can read them and understand that they are not alone in what happens after the affair.

Bouncing with Style is not just about picking yourself up, it’s understanding what has happened to you and how it affected you. Part of that is learning that we are never alone in our human experiences. You just have to reach out to others going through or having gone through the same thing to Bounce with Style.

People can find inspiration anywhere, but many of them look to their Creator to become inspired to fulfill their purpose on earth. Some of these individuals channel their inspiration into erecting beautiful houses of worship and prayer as a means to inspire others who come after them. Here are several examples of chapels and churches that you may not have heard about but are guaranteed to inspire you.

Christ Church Baptist Chapel – Aston, England

Even though it’s no longer used as a church, this chapel’s Venetian Gothic design still attracts countless visitors every year. This octagonal spire-topped chapel stands above a church which is divided into seven different bays. It was originally built in 1864 by James Cranston.

Harmony Chapel – Harmony, CA

Harmony Chapel – Harmony, CA

The inspiration from this wedding chapel comes from its unique front doors. The “wine-cask” entryway features hand-carved wooden doors with exquisite detail and precision. The chapel itself is used as a wedding site on the scenic central coast of the Golden State.

St. John the Baptist Church – Buford, England

Many houses of worship contain breathtaking stained-glass windows that are inspiring all by themselves. One of the intricately-crafted stained windows was built into this Oxfordshire church so that it could be visible for both worshippers and passersby. The eight biblical scenes and the interlocking geometric patterns provide a marvelous feast for the eyes.

Carafa Chapel, Santa Maria sopra Minerva – Rome, Italy

Carafa Chapel, Santa Maria sopra Minerva – Rome, Italy

Instead of cutting windows into stone walls, some chapel builders preferred to beautify their worship space with intricate frescoes on the walls. This elaborate panorama, which is situated behind the altar, depicts angels watching over earthly beings. Fillipino Lippi painted this fresco in a chapel that was named from a Napoli cardinal.

The Guild Chapel of the Holy Cross – Stratford-upon-Avon, England

Some churches have been inspiring people for hundreds of years. This chapel was constructed in the 13th century as part of a complex which included a hospital. Today, it serves as part of King Edward VI grammar school.

Sea Ranch Chapel – Sonoma County, CA

Sea Ranch Chapel – Sonoma County, CA

Inspiring chapels aren’t exclusive to the Christian religion. This chapel off of California’s Highway 1 was designed by architect James T. Hubbell and constructed from a wide variety of natural materials. It is billed as a “non-denominational sanctuary for prayer, meditation, and spiritual renewal.”

Trinity Over the Gate Church – Kiev, Ukraine

Kiev was often considered the “Rome of Orthodox Christianity,” largely because of the Pechersk Lavra monastery of which this church is a part. It was built in 1106 above the monastery’s “Holy Gates.” It features uniquely-designed gold leaf trim throughout, fabulous wall paintings with scenes of folk traditions and local scenery, and molded floor tiles of cast-iron.

Capella Palatina – Palermo, Italy

Located in the middle of the Plazzo Reale, this chapel’s artwork combines Norman, Arab, and Byzantine elements to create what remains as one of the most beautiful examples of medieval art. The structure was complete in 1140 and features three apses with six pointed arches and several classical columns. The mosaics depict events from the Acts of the Apostles.

Chapel of the Holy Cross – Sedona, AZ

Chapel of the Holy Cross – Sedona, AZ

This stone church was actually built over a half century ago so that it juts out from a 1,000-foot high rock wall. It was constructed on a twin pinnacled spur and reaches about 250 feet into the sky at its tallest point. The Catholic church welcomes worshippers every Sunday.

Do you find inspiration from churches, chapels, or other holy buildings such as the ones listed here?

Photo Credits: puliarf, tore_urnes, ingridtaylar, Paul Beardow

Every day when we turn on the news, we see a world that seems filled with sadness, poverty, loss and grief. We ask ourselves, over and over again, how can we live amidst such difficulty and pain? The task of bringing relief to the suffering often seems insurmountable.

The truth is that our hearts ache for those who suffer no matter where in the world they are or for what reason the suffering exists. Yet, as much as we want to offer support and assistance, there doesn’t seem to be enough that we can do to create change. However, we will endeavor to bring relief wherever and whenever possible. Our capacity to love is great.

The question is, how do we look upon the sorrows of this world while maintaining balance and joy within ourselves? How can we be of service when our hearts are breaking? These are tough questions for very tough situations. Where will the resilience come from that will give us the strength and the courage to accept the world as it is? Is it possible?

It is. We first must understand that we provide the most help to others when we are clear and balanced ourselves. Happiness is infectious. The human spirit is astonishingly powerful in its ability to choose happiness in spite of life circumstances.

And life, it appears, is actually a menagerie of choices. Choices result in experience. Experience results in knowledge; our choices result in life experiences that ultimately bring growth, understanding and wisdom. At the expense of sounding a bit philosophical, our power stems from our ability to choose. We can choose happiness. And once we do, we can empower others to do the same.

So, the next time we find ourselves asking the question “why, why, why?”, maybe we will quickly come to the conclusion: choose, choose, choose.  What is your happiness? What is your H-Factor? Choose!

Happiness is an inside job®.

A famous psychologist (his first name is Phil) talks about the fact that we all have pivotal points in our lives; crossroads, if you will, where we can turn down a path of self-pity, victimism, feeling anger at the world and an urge to ‘give up’. Or turning the other way and seeking empowerment, happiness, and a full life.

In August of 2006, I experienced a harsh, heartbreaking pivotal point in my life when my husband of thirty years died suddenly. He took his own life. Sure, I knew he was going through some kind of mid-life crisis or other. Don’t most men? He bought a new car, set up a home gym and started flirting with women half his age. But nothing prepared me for what he did. To be so unhappy and not share it with SOMEONE? I can’t imagine.

I have been ‘under construction’ since that fateful day.

Early on I decided to get into therapy to help with the overwhelming guilt and rage that I felt as a result of his actions. Then as I carefully went through the seven steps of grief (I wanted to be certain that I took the time to heal), I realized that in my forty-five years of adult life, I had never been single.

Who was I? What kind of individual was I? What were my own thoughts, my own beliefs? What did I think about life without the input of a spouse, a partner, a best friend?

So I considered myself to be ‘under construction’ now for several years. Rather than choose to have my life end with the death of my husband (as many women my age are wont to do), I decided to re-invent myself. Discover who I am… and work on that individual.

Am I a kind person? Do I help others? Do I pursue my dreams? Do I go after my goals? Am I happy?

After seven years I can answer: for the most part, I think I am kind. Yes, I help others. I absolutely pursue my dreams and achieve my goals. And after passing through the grief, anger, denial, pain, tears and confusion, I am very happy. A person can’t sit back and expect happiness to come to them. I believe you have to work for it!

It always amazes me when people give me the following reasons why they cannot give…

• I am just one person
• I don’t have enough money
• I am not educated enough
• Who is going to listen to me ?
• Etc… Etc… Etc…

EVERY person on this planet, no matter how rich or how poor, can do SOMETHING….

Get creative. Think of ways you can give without spending a dime to ways you can contribute if you are a Millionaire. We all have something to give-contribute.

Do you know one of the greatest gifts of giving is an EAR…? Listening to someone, giving them a flower from your garden, a book you are done reading, some leftover food, or baking someone some cookies, hand-me-down clothes, offering to give someone a ride, picking someone up, carpooling, saying a simple THANK YOU… the list is endless.

All of these things are a result of THE RIPPLE EFFECT.

What we do – the Acts of Kindness create a Ripple Effect way beyond what we can even begin to comprehend.

Our words are powerful… What we say impacts many lives beyond our own. That time we teased someone, the time we said “Thank You” to someone – both had an impact that led to something and then something else.

You never know what someone needs to hear. Every word we say creates a Ripple, and someone, somewhere is waiting to hear exactly what you have to say – that “Aha” moment when somebody suggested something and it was exactly what you needed to hear.  Never take for granted the wisdom you have to share.

Even if your Life wasn’t pretty and you had struggles: share them. The fact that you are still breathing and sharing your story empowers others to know that if you can do it , so can they.

Everything we go through in life is a chance to learn, play and grow from. Every day we wake up is a choice to be in a positive mood or a cranky mood.

I will also say live with NO REGRETS… and that means not regretting your past struggles. Why do I say that? Because what you have been through has made you into the YOU you are today.

Now this is where people will tell me, “Well if I have had a past of struggles and that has made me into a sad, broke person, why would I not want to regret that?” I say this to those who think that… When you finally get so sick and tired of being sick and tired, you will either make the choice to rise above the past and/or situations or sink beneath and live in victimhood.

All of life is about Attitude. Your Attitude about everything in life is the key to stepping beyond the regret of the past and instead choosing to thank the past and step into an Attitude of Gratitude. And from that space… I have seen Miracles happen.

I encourage everyone to step into their greatness… live their Passion… and to never stop dreaming….

Enjoy the journey.

One of the things that happens when you divorce, when your spouse has an affair and you are left to pick up the pieces, raise your children alone or pay off massive debt is that you get a whole bucket of pain that seems to refresh on a daily basis.

It’s hard sometimes to figure out the source of the pain: anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, disbelief, worry, fear, jealousy… well, you get the point. The end result is you hurt.

How to go from pain to productivity and back again.

And you hurt in a way that for many of us after a long marriage is only familiar in a distant memory when you were made fun of in grade school or had your heart crushed by a high school sweetheart. Only this time you can’t run home to Mom and Dad to ease your pain. Well, you can, but it’s just not the same because when you do, you heap a whole level of “I’m no longer a grown up – I’m a mess” disaster thinking on your head.

So it hurts. For many of us it hurts for a long time. It’s hard to breathe. Your chest feels tight. And the whole world can feel as if it’s on the attack even though it’s probably not directed at you.

I know that during what I call my bruised and battered stage if someone looked at me wrong, I thought it was me, my failure and it was intended to hurt me. I knew as a rational adult that the whole world wasn’t conspiring to hurt my feelings but like a tender bruise on your arm, the slightest touch caused pain.

I was abnormally sensitive to everything during this time.  I see my friends who are going through the same process experience the same thing. Even the slightest hint of a cross word sends them spiraling into hiding and depression.

The hard thing about all of this is that most people don’t understand and tell you to move on, meet someone new, get out there.  I’d like to offer to these well-meaning but mis-guided friends that you wouldn’t tell someone who just broke his leg to get out on the dance floor.  But that’s unfortunately what people who don’t understand tell us to do.

Yes, we all have to get back into the saddle. Yes, we all have to move on. But moving on means moving through the pain associated with infidelity and divorce. That can take a really long time, especially if you were married for many years and/or you were very vested in the relationship.

The worst thing I did with my pain was sit with it. That was when I thought my butt grew roots right into the couch. The pain just knocked the wind out of me and I didn’t know what to do and I surely did not expect it. It was easier to be still. It was easier to hide. I didn’t want to see happy families. They did not make me feel better.

Because I was getting fat and my ego superceded my depression, I got off the couch. I dug out my dusty iPod and I walked. Sometimes I ran. Sometimes I hiked or swam or rode the stationery bike as if my life depended on it. Tears would stream down my face and mix with sweat. I could feel the pain energy dissipate. It would come again like waves in the ocean, washing over me. I could feel it bubbling in my check threatening to spill over at any moment.  That’s when I knew I needed to move.

I would wash the floor. Vacuum the house. Clean the car. Organize my office. Go through my things for donation. I would stack wood. I would keep moving until I could feel the pain energy leave. I imagined myself with this huge ball of pain in my chest and it radiated outward and I would run the battery down and it would dim. When it recharged and showed up again, I envisioned it getting smaller each time it came back. You know what? It worked. My pain ball is so much smaller and I don’t know what to tell you about why it worked, I just know that it did.

There were also added benefits that I was no longer living in a mess. Things were neater and orderly and I felt more in control when I got things together. There is nothing worse than being in a funk and looking at a giant disorganized mess.

I invite you to imagine your pain energy ball running out of steam. I invite you to imagine that each time you wear out your pain battery, it gets smaller. I invite you to join me in turning your pain into productivity.

Everyone has to bounce at some time or another in their lifetime. I invite you to Bounce with Style with me.

Inspiration, like love, is all around us – if we pay attention. We can be inspired by people, places, everyday kindness, nature, and the beauty that surrounds us.

Personally, I’m inspired by the wisdom I’ve learned from nearly 1000 incredible Inspirational Luminaries on InspireMeToday.com, as well as by my passion for beautiful nature photographs.

Recently, to celebrate the 5^th Anniversary of InspireMeToday.com, we combined the two into what we’re calling Inspirational Photo Quotes. These are a blend of wisdom set with a beautiful photograph of nature. As our gift to you this year, we’re bringing you 365 days of inspiration – one each day for the next year. (If you like them, we might even keep them going indefinitely!)

From a waterfall that talks about letting go, to a sunset that reminds us that life is short, from two snuggly animals with a quote about love to a soaring, wide-open sky talking about unlimited possibility, we hope you are inspired by our Inspirational Photo Quotes. By combining both an inspiring photo and a touch of wisdom, it is our goal to not only help you through the tough days, but will also inspire you to dream bigger and realize your infinite potential.

There’s great meaning in this project for me, as I took all of the photos and have written these quotes over the last few years. Putting them together for you has been a sincere project of love.

Interestingly enough, in the making of these Inspirational Photo Quotes, some were completed by writing the quote and then finding the photo, while others were created by seeing the photo, feeling inspired and listening to the wisdom that came from the scene. Either way, it is our sincere hope that you like them and share them with your family and friends.

If you’d like to see one every day, please sign up here to have it emailed to you. Or, follow @inspiremetoday on Twitter to receive one daily. “Like” us on Facebook at facebook.com/inspiremetoday. Review all of the Inspirational Photo Quotes to date in our archive here. Then, pass it on and share the love with those you love!

Knowing that when you ask, you receive…. we’re asking for your help in sharing this inspiration. We know the difference that something small can make in our day. I think we’ve all had times when we’re going through a dark period, and out of nowhere comes a saying, or some sort of inspiration that shifts things for us. YOU have the power to do that in someone’s world, simply by sharing the love. Retweet the link. Hit the SHARE button on Facebook. Email the link to our Inspirational Photo Quotes archive to your contacts. Your kindness could change someone’s life- and that’s pretty powerful.

I want you to know how much I appreciate your help in sharing the love, and helping us inspire the world. Without you, we wouldn’t reach the millions around the world that we do.

From my heart to yours, THANK YOU for you kindness in helping us with this project. Know that it means the world to us!

Hugs,

Gail

There are approximately 41,000 Christian denominations and organizations in the world, according to the Center for the Study of Global Christianity (CSGC) at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary.

I do not believe I am the measure of all things. I am aware of many of my inabilities, and because of my shortcomings and lack of understanding, I admit I do not know it all.

Because of my limitations in interpretation, I admit I do not know which of the 41,000 denominations are “right” and interpreting the Bible “correctly.” So I pray for wisdom and recognize that the Bible is about love. And my application of the Bible’s word stems from that.

During cold months, we open the spare room in our home to the homeless and destitute. When six different people responded to my post sharing we would have a vacant room in a week, we were faced with a dilemma. What were we supposed to do, homeless triage? How were we supposed to figure out who came in and who slept in the cold? Easy to say children first, but some of who contacted us were the elderly. Some people were sleeping in the back of their cars while it snowed outside.

So I asked my husband what no wife wants to ask. “Could we give our bedroom up to a complete stranger?”

“That’s true, they might steal us blind.”

“ Yes, they may refuse to leave.”

“I never thought of that, they could raise our electric bill.” Last month’s bill was $472 and we could only afford to pay half of it.

“Can they come?”

God relied on people being open to the idea of miracles. This required a flexible mind, a mind willing to accept the “impossible.” A mind willing to take a leap of faith so we could trust in him. Are our minds really flexible? Are we willing to change our opinions and beliefs when presented with new information? Are we too prideful to consider we could be wrong?

Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Jon Bon Jovi (just kidding), these are dudes who seemed to be ahead of their time in their thinking. I would wager most people consider them very intelligent. But if we were to time-travel back and try to explain to them we were going to launch vehicles into space, they probably would have been flabbergasted – unable to accept it as reality. With the information and thought-process they had available to them at that time, they could just not see the connection. Is that to say space travel wasn’t possible back then? The same rules of physics applied, but their limited understanding and resources and probably a bit of being set in their own concept of truth would have kept them from fully understanding space travel.

Could we be in the same position today? When we read and interpret things, could we be limited by our own thoughts, by the technology of our day, by the miracles we haven’t seen? When we listen to arguments, are we listening as though we have something to lose if our ideas are challenged or changed? Could our perceptions about someone be holding us back from seeing their true needs, from seeing how we could put aside our own to-do list and leave the dishes in the sink so we can help them.

We have perceptions shaped by our experiences, (usually) biased research searches, and influential people in our lives. We’re describing the sky based on how it looks from our window at our latitude and longitude. When we see that we only see a piece of the sky, and apply that to thoughts and interpretation of the Bible, we can pray for wisdom and allow God to shine through our window.

Oh, and when He shined through our bedroom window that snowy day we couldn’t see it, but that sweet homeless lady could.

Our story got in the papers when we were looking desperately for a young couple with a nine-month old baby sleeping outside. I had exhausted an entire day driving, calling, searching. I couldn’t have an empty room while a little baby in my town sleeps outside. I called up the local media and asked if they could give a shout out looking for the couple so they would find out we had a room waiting for them. Some interviewed me for forty-five minutes, but if there’s a murder around, the uplifting stories get the backseat.

We never found that couple. But the week the newspaper article was published, I had a strange knock at the door. It was the mud room door, the one used by family.

It was the little girl who initially moved me, three years earlier, to skip Thanksgiving dinner and drive an extra nine hours to fix up our spare room. Her family lived with us for a month and a half, long enough to save up a security deposit for a permanent place. I remember her being fairly shy, a gentle spirit. When she came in this time, practically skipping toward me, she was exploding with a gigantic smile. “I have to do current events every week. I got to share our story!” she said.

Now, she was anonymous in the article, but she chose not to be anonymous amongst her friends in class. She chose to share how another group of strangers took them in and made them family for a month. She was not nervous, she wasn’t scared. She wasn’t afraid anyone would judge her. She had been shown enough love and given enough support to feel not only confident in her homeless past, but proud of it.

I wouldn’t have been able to open my heart towards her if I had an inflexible mind. If I listened to the stereotypes about the homeless, if I had worried too much about my things being stolen, my world being disorganized. If I thought I knew it all about the homeless, I wouldn’t be writing to you with a changed heart today. If my own comfort and peace-of-mind were at the forefront of my family’s agenda, that little girl would have been homeless and maybe that would have affected her for the rest of her life. I’m pretty grateful I had an open mind, it felt really like God stepping in. I think being homeless WILL affect her for the rest of her life. And I think she will be stronger.

If this story touched you, watch our 5 minute video with testimonies from some of our guests. We would like to turn this story into an illustrated children’s book via Kickstarter and would greatly appreciate your help to make this a reality.

Volunteering can give you an opportunity to recenter and reconnect with your own happiness while at the same making the world a better place. Do you want to help others by giving back? You may be asking yourself, “Where do I start?” Here are some tips to get you started on finding a volunteer opportunity.

1. Research the issue or cause that is most important to you and find a group that works with those issues.
2. Look at the skills you could offer and use them to find the opportunity that suits you. If you enjoy being around children or want to mentor them, then look for organizations that also do that.
3. Learn a new skill. If you are looking to learn something new, look for a nonprofit organization that is seeking volunteers, realizing at the same time that training may be part of your commitment.
4. Make sure that your volunteer work fits your schedule. Devote the time you can to whatever organization you are volunteering for, but don’t promise time you can’t give! Make sure your other commitments don’t suffer and that you still have time for yourself.
5. Questions may come up. Organizations have to be careful who they accept as volunteers, so don’t be surprised if you are asked to fill out an application or come in for an interview. If you have children, look for ways that you as a family can volunteer or ways that fathers and sons as well as mothers and daughters can volunteer together.
6. Become a virtual volunteer. Some organizations are now seeking volunteers via the Internet. You might be able to help a person with a disability type a paper for a college class or email someone who is homebound.

These are just a few tips on how you can start looking for opportunities to volunteer. (Check out more here.) Most importantly, you just have to get out there!

Happiness is an inside job®.

I was the baby in the family, born 11 and 8 years, respectively, after my siblings. Not until just a few years ago did I hear that my mother “farmed out” my sister and brother to strangers. The term usually referred to children who were sent to a relative back in the day, but in my siblings’ case it was an indenture. My brother and sister had to work for their keep,  ages six and 11.

They told me these stories as part of my research while writing Wild Violets, a romanticized version of my Mother as a flapper and entrepreneur in the 1920′s in San Francisco. As the family secrets unfolded, the romanticism flew right out the window.  And that’s okay; remember what I told you about your story taking hold and telling itself?

But the enormity of my mother’s actions still didn’t really sink in… grab my heart.  It happened so long ago,  it happened in a different time,  it didn’t happen to me, I told myself.

Until… I began to actually write that part of the story. Here were these two little kids dumped at the front door of a farm house by their mother and her current boyfriend. The kids had no warning, no time frame, didn’t even know if they would ever see their mother again. And for no good reason. The family wasn’t destitute… she owned a bar and grill in San Francisco. There were no addiction problems unless you counted our mother’s addition to men.

As I wrote those pages, I finally became invested in what had happened to my brother and sister over seventy years ago. And my heart broke. To finally see why, in part, they became the people they are today. Why, at times, my sister bitterly resented me. Why my brother was an overachiever and obsessed with family.

In my own way, I too was abandoned by our mother. No, she never farmed me out. Nothing so overt as that.  But she chose her men over me, time and time again. Her desires always trumped my childhood needs.   I was a left-over.   A possession that she could put down or pick up again on a whim.  Showed off to her current beau or friends and then set in a corner, like an old broom.

And if you, my readers, hear bitterness leaking through my words… it’s not for me and how I was raised.

Because I have overpowered my past and empowered myself to be fierce, tough and resilient.  Seeking my talent and achieving my goals.  (Yes, I still have abandonment issues)

The bitterness and heartache you hear is for those two little kids dumped at a stranger’s door!

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing…” – Helen Keller

I am committed to living my life out loud and being a catalyst for others to blaze their own trail.

Some say, “Life is short,” yet, there are abundant reasons for it to be filled with extraordinary experiences, breathtaking fulfillment and ongoing joy; of course, we could perceive a myriad of obstacles in getting to this exulted state. In actuality, there is only one.

Ask yourself two questions: Are you living your dream life?  If not, why not?

The most common responses: “No, not really,” for the first and, the second one has all too many like:  “The economy;” “I don’t have the money;” “I don’t have the time;” “I don’t have the know-how;” “I have too many other obligations (meaning, other priorities). Fortunately, not one of these is true or real! Fact is, your perception of these assertions might be real to you; on closer examination, for the most part, they are illusions. Let’s examine this.

The Economy: Recently, many lifestyles have been affected, even drastically. The question so commonly asked, “Why are some people doing very well, even thriving in this economy? Is it luck?” No, it is doing the right things dictated by the circumstances. Same old, no longer works! Where many stall, others actively seek opportunity, find it and thrive. It is one’s inability to shift that is causing the pain; not the economy. Why the inability?

I don’t have the money: It may sound crass when I say, “So, what are you doing about that?” We have unlimited opportunities in this country of free enterprise. You may have heard the statistic, 96% of retirees don’t live the life they had imagined because of financial constraints. The hopes, generally based on working for others, have simply not materialized. Somehow, becoming entrepreneurial, leveraging incomes based on the efforts of others, as well as your own, did not become a part of the thought process. Why not?

I don’t have the time: Each of us has been gifted the same 24 hours per day! How you spend it is at your total discretion.  Do you spend large chunks doing a job you hate (as do over 85% of all employed), or are you addicted to video games or other non-productive pursuits? Is your energy spent working toward a goal that leads to excellence and fulfillment or . . . are you treading water? You have choice. What’s blocking you from exercising it in the most meaningful and productive manner?

I don’t have the know-how: None of us were born with know-how. We learned through formal education, apprenticeship programs, imitating others, or the school of hard knocks. Why is it some learned and continue to learn, and others don’t? If you are one of the latter, what has blocked your path to success?

I have too many responsibilities: Life is full of responsibilities. When people from vastly different backgrounds and circumstances (Gandhi, Mandela etc.) supersede the ordinary and achieve the monumental. Again, we must ask what blocks us from reaching similar heights?

There are many reasons people give for being stuck in their present circumstances. The one persistent and extremely powerful block is your personal BELIEF system. While too many are raised with the belief, “I am not good enough,” it is really only one of those erroneous perceptions we ‘bought into.’  Even the most casual exploration of humanness reveals our magnificence; amazing bodies, minds and spirits.

Even with this, most still need to find a way to break through the conditioning. The formulae is simple, expediting it, generally not. The first step is to find a strong and positive sense of self. Some accomplish this by reviewing their bucket list and finding challenges they have been postponing.  Climbing a serious mountain was on mine. With time the challenge expanded and when I climbed to the top of Mt. Everest, I became the oldest person in the Western World to have climbed the highest peak on all seven continents.

I now take people on life-changing adventure travel experiences where they gain personal breakthroughs and shatter limiting beliefs. Imagine being in the most wondrous natural setting and being encouraged to enjoyably, and proudly stretch your awareness and shatter perceived physical limitations, beyond what you ever considered possible. Think of snow-covered peaks framing the horizon on all sides; or thousands upon thousands of animals roaming the veldt; or being exposed to cultures vastly different from your own where people might be extremely poor – by our standards – and at the same time extremely happy.

With a shift ‘in being,’ people now ask, “What do I really want? What excuses do I no longer need?” The answers lead to new actions and a life re-imagined. As mentioned earlier, I serve as a catalyst for change.  If you don’t think you can do it alone, come trek with me. Your journey toward fulfilling your dreams does take some work, and then it is invariably exciting, rewarding and ultimately… priceless!  Remember, you CAN do this and excuses do not bring results.

For more information about trekking with Werner, visit AfricaWithWerner.Wordpress.Com (June 2013) and EverestBaseCampWithWerner.WordPress.Com (October 2013).

Photo Credit: Rupert Taylor-Price

One of the things that strikes me on a weekly basis is how I can in one week forgive my ex-husband for his cheating and abandonment of me and then the next week I’m back to hating his guts and those of Bozo his mistress. Am I bitter? You bet. Angry? Totally. Able to let it go and move on… not so much.

Waiting for the forgiveness train with my son.

What I have found with forgiveness is that it’s not really a one-shot deal. Now sometimes it’s because the original sin is aggravated. When my ex gave my child’s mother’s day card, made in his kindergarten class, to his mistress I wanted to rip his and her heads off. I went into this crazy mommy spiral thinking how could Bozo as a mother accept that card? It created a litany of personal wrongs that whipped my non-forgiving spirit into full force. I got all caught up in a tangle of withdrawn forgiveness for my ex, for Bozo and for myself because it most scenarios there’s more than one thing to forgive and one person. It’s hard just to forgive like rain off an umbrella all the individual betrayals that make up an affair. And when one forgiveness is challenged, it can cause a whole hailstorm of memories that require forgiveness.

But sometimes, without apparent warning, reverse forgiveness just hits you. I hear this from my friends who were in long-term marriages and relationships and their partner cheated on them and left. It affects both men and women. The cheating is bad enough but then to be left with your hat in hand is like salt in a paper cut. Many report the same things as I am expressing to you. There are good days and bad days with respect to forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an ongoing struggle – like laying off the potato chips. It’s awfully tempting to relax into bitterness. It’s quite frankly a whole lot easier being bitter than moving on. Being bitter is sort of fun at times. Mean snarky things come out of my mouth that make me and others laugh at Bozo and my ex. It creates a temporary, albeit memorable, fix. It’s a lot more effort to take the high road, be the bigger person, and to let things go.

I think it’s important to not only teach each other that forgiveness is a process, but also that forgiveness is not a permanent state of being- at least it was not for me. I have to admit I kind of expected the sun to shine down on me, angels to strum their harps and I would magically lose 30 pounds all because I had found forgiveness. Well, it didn’t and it doesn’t.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you need to be realistic with yourself in your expectations of what happens when you finally “forgive” that person. Know that you can and probably will take it back especially when they do stupid and hurtful things to you. Know that you can reverse forgiveness and then find it again.  We are human and do the best we can. And it’s much harder to be on the forgiveness train than the cheater bus.

Don’t believe me? Check out Amazon and see how many books there are to help the person who was betrayed. Thousands. No so much information out there to help the cheater recover. Why? Because they had fun running about and cheating while the rest of us stayed home and raised the kids and paid the bills. I read the cheater posts online, but somehow it’s hard for me to feel empathy for their guilt that they spent the night in a five star hotel with someone else’s husband – especially when family trips were spent in the Holiday Inn.

Hmmm… See? I’m back in my reverse forgiveness bitterness mode. But thankfully I have an outlet like writing and supporting others in their recover journey. I encourage you to find a healthy one for you.  Because, after all, you can recover, you can rebound, or you can Bounce with Style.

Here is a truth: you can be happy, even if you feel sadness, anger or suffer from anxiety. Happiness is an inner state of being that does not get lost. It stays with you even in dark times.

How can you achieve an inner state of happiness? It starts with small steps.

Gratitude. Many of us on Inspire Me Today have talked in the past about gratitude journals. Just look for a few things in each day that you are thankful for. It isn’t as hard as it seems. You can be grateful for so many things. Just the fact that you are alive is more than a good reason to be grateful.

Be thankful for a roof over your head. Be thankful for the shelter. Be thankful for the food you eat, for the clothes you wear. Be thankful for the bed you sleep in.

Even if you have no job, you can be thankful. Why? There are plenty of opportunities out there for you. You just have to choose the right one and trust your intuition and creativity.

Laugh at yourself. You might be surprised at how quickly your anxiety evaporates. Remember how much laughter can contribute to happiness even when things don’t seem to be going your way.

It may not yet be the inner state of perfect happiness. It is at least the starting point. Look around and don’t see the dark, see the spots of light, see happiness and spread happiness. It then will involve all people around you.

Happiness is contagious. It’s well worth spreading it!

Happiness is an inside job®.

Since man formed his first vocabulary, family and tribal news was carried from tribe to tribe, village to village by a storyteller. They would be welcomed in each cave, hut, or council house as an honored guest and nights would be spent around the fire listening to the latest news from family members living afar. Famine, a good harvest, movement of wild herds, warring tribes, births, deaths, alliances, all were carried by the professional storyteller. After a few days passed the news had been told and the storyteller, rested and refreshed, would move to the next tribe or settlement.

While growing up in the mid-fifties my mother (certainly a modern-day storyteller) would tell me the stories of her and eleven siblings growing up in the forests of Tumwater, Washington. The story of my mother’s sister, Ivah, cutting off her eyebrows in retaliation. When all the kids were down with seafood poisoning and a dairy cow wandered into the yard crying to be milked (milk being the remedy for stomach disorders). Another of my mother’s sisters’ panties falling down around her ankles while dancing at her first dress-up dance.

I believe that these oral histories, as told by the elders of our families will soon (if not already) be a thing of the past. Whenever I have the opportunity, whether it’s teaching a class on writing and storytelling or giving a lecture on same, I relate how important it is for each of us to record our own family’s rich history. When grandparents are gone, the stories are gone with them. My family story, whose origin began in Ireland and France, was great material for my writing. One stage script and now I am working on my second novel, Wild Violets, about my mother, as a young entrepreneur, flapper and owner of a speakeasy, in San Francisco in the 1920′s.

These family stories are some of my most precious, prized possessions!

Journaling is a great way to express your most private thoughts; opinions and thoughts you can’t convey to anyone else. And reading what you have written is sometimes very cathartic and healing.

In this day of television, DVDs, and computers with games and tricks these stories, handed down from elder to child, will be lost forever. Do YOU know some great stories that you were told as a child?

Photo Credit: Rory MacLeod

“I like the dreams of the future, better than the history of the past.” – Thomas Jefferson

“To hold fast to history is to be swept aside.” - John F. Kennedy

I’m not psychic, but I’m pretty sure that 100 years from now (hopefully sooner), future generations are going to look back at our belief in separation and limits and wonder, “What were they thinking? How could they be so misinformed?”

They’ll scratch their heads at our refusal to use our innate power, our natural energy in much the same way we look back at the Roman Circuses. “Are you kidding me?” we think, “How could thousands of people sit around drinking wine and being entertained by lions ripping gladiators apart?”

It will be a curiosity that we treated ourselves this way, that we chose to suffer when right on the other side of the veil is everything we could possibly want.

And it’s all so easy and natural. It’s just that our beliefs that we have no power blocks Truth.

My lesson in A Course in Miracles as I write this is “Let me recognize my problems have been solved.” In a nutshell, it encourages me (and everyone else who is following along the Course this year) to free ourselves of problems that do not exist.

We literally weaken ourselves when we put all our energy into trying to figure everything out. By focusing on the process (the learning, the studying, the mindless activity) instead of putting our attention on what we REALLY WANT, we strip ourselves of our power.

In other words, we bring to the table the part of us that came up with the error in the first place. We actually buy that the “imposter,” the voice I call my “Inner Salieri” is where we’ll find answers.

The side effect of this ridiculous notion of limitation and separation is we live at half throttle. By not exercising and delighting in our inherent abilities, we fail to use our innate power. We actually live out the outdated Roman Circus-like notion that we are weak and incapable of creating our lives.

Future generations will also consider it freakishly odd that we felt so guilty and didn’t have the fun and joy we are entitled to. They just won’t understand why we didn’t relish in our creative powers. They’ll puzzle,”They had this amazing gift and they left it sitting in the corner, unwrapped.”

For what it’s worth, future generations, I’m doing my part now (even as we speak) to get up every day, pronounce that something amazingly awesome is going to happen to me today and to spend my day in unadulterated wonderment at all the world’s blessings and miracles.

Photo credit: Max Elman

It is said that old sayings prove true. When I was writing the title to this blog post, I was thinking to myself, “Could it get any more cheese ball than this? I’m starting to sound like my mother.” But I realized today that she was right and most of those hokey-dokey sayings have a lot of truth to them. You are what you think about all day long.

View from our condo in Flagstaff Arizona near the Grand Canyon

Recently I have gone through separation, divorce, death, foreclosure, custody battles and a financial upheaval in my personal life. Most of these things were out of my control and I had to take a step back and think about how I wanted to show up in my life. I ran away from home one weekend when my ex had the kids.

I drove 6 hours to the Grand Canyon and I sat on the edge looking at the vibrant layers of earth carved out over millions of years. Relax – I wasn’t going to jump – but I sat there thinking how tiny and insignificant I am, but my problems could fill up the great ravine. A tour bus pulled up and dumped out a bunch of women. Being me, I sat there and eavesdropped on their conversation. Polite, no. Interesting yes.

The women who should have been rejoicing in the magnificent beauty were bitching about their exes. They were bitter, nasty, funny, sad and missing the whole point of the Grand Canyon: majestic and overpowering beauty. I also noticed a lot of them were quite rude to the male bus driver. He was taking one not just for the team but the entire male species from what I could see.

I thought about myself and how I felt. Sure, I was bitter, nasty, funny, sad and missing the whole point of life some days, but I had a choice on how I was going to treat people around me. At that point my life was in the “sh$tter”, as my dad would say, but I realized that when I just treated people with kindness, despite my inner turmoil and fear, life was easier.

I realized that day that I didn’t really have a choice about what was happening to me, but I did have a choice in how I was going to respond. Was I going to become one of those bitter, angry women who railed at the unfairness in life or was I going to accept it and move on? What was I going to think about? Think about the past? Think about the loss?

Or, could I make a conscious choice to move forward and turn my mess into a message for others? I think about my son’s favorite television show, Ninjago, Lego’s recent take on the 80s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I think about Sensei Woo, the wise old sage from the show who my son made out of Lego and placed in our manger to oversee the Baby Jesus.

Sensei Woo said in a very profound episode, “We can’t change the past, we can only improve on the future.”

Yeah. That creepy little Lego man is right.

Today, InspireMeToday.com celebrates our fifth birthday.

Since our launch in 2008, we’ve featured nearly 1000 different Luminaries and have inspired millions of people in more than 150 different countries around the world. We receive thank you emails from folks telling us the difference that a particular inspiration made in their life… and that makes us smile.

We are proud of the difference we are making, and wanted to express our appreciation to you, for we couldn’t have done it without your continual love and support.

In appreciation to you, our loving community, we want to celebrate our birthday by giving birthday presents- to YOU!

First, we’ve created a new series of inspirational photos with quotes to keep you inspired. We’ll be sharing a new one every day for the next year, which you’ll find on Facebook and in a special section of our blog.

We’ve also created a weekly digest of our daily inspiration, just in case you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the email in your inbox. You can subscribe to the digest anytime by visiting inspiremetoday.com/signup. (You’ll be automatically unsubscribed from our daily inspirational emails to keep it easy for you.)

Plus, we reached out to a few of our very favorite Inspirational Luminaries, who have graciously offered these birthday gifts to each and every one of you, for FREE!

If you’re already a subscriber to our “Today’s Inspiration” newsletter or weekly digest, just check your email for links to access any gift that interests you. If you’re not a subscriber, just click here by April 30 to receive access.

Update: Our 5th birthday gifts are no longer available, but we hope you’ll join us and help us celebrate next year!

Wake Up To The Dream: How To Make Your Dreams A Reality Now! 12-Week E-course
A gift from Eva Gregory, author of The Feel Good Guide to Prosperity

How committed are you to making your dreams a reality today? What would it be worth to you to be on your way to actualizing your dreams within the next 90 days? Each weekly lesson is rich in content and intended to be highly interactive. What that means, is you actually take action each week and deepen the learning around each lesson in a way that will help you integrate it into your life. This course is intended to impact you in a way that it cannot if you simply read each lesson without implementing them. It is not meant to be an intellectual exercise. It is meant to be a body/mind/spirit ‘in the bones’ course that can alter your life if you let it!

Extending Love Meditation – No Longer Available!
A gift from DavidPaul Doyle, of The Voice For Love

With this healing meditation for beginners and experts, learn to quiet your mind, let go of mental and emotional pain, connect with your Divine Self, receive inner guidance and direction, feel more peace and love within you, and experience your Oneness with All That Is. No Longer Available!

Tuning In To The Vibration of Your Soul… - No Longer Available!

A gift from Sandy Alemian, author of WHAT was God Thinking?!

On this 28-day journey, you’ll learn how to de-stress, connect with divine guidance, and finally let your life unfold effortlessly and from a higher vibration!  You’ll receive 28 daily lessons, affirmations, and a highly-calibrated question each day to ask your soul.  As a BONUS, you’ll also receive a short daily meditation to keep you aligned with the essence of your soul and an EXCLUSIVE interview with Dina Proctor. No Longer Available!

De-Stress in 9 Minutes a Day Tele-Series
A gift from Dina Proctor, author of Madly Chasing Peace

The idea behind 3×3 Meditation is that you can have effective results for yourself and your life in short bursts of meditation throughout the day. People around the world are coming to experience the power that a highly focused 3-minute, 3-times a day practice can have.

The De-Stress in 9 Minutes a Day teleseries consists of 3 sessions:

• Session One: Handling Stress & Overwhelm and Starting a 3×3 Meditation practice
• Session Two: Intuitive Eating & Managing Food Cravings
• Session Three: Pre-Forgiveness & Relationships

Guided Intuition Connection Audios
A gift from Tara Taylor, master intuitive and co-author of Through Indigo’s Eyes

Ignite YOUR intuitive abilities by using Renowned Intuitive and Hay House author Tara Taylor’s Guided Intuition Connection audios daily. Each 3 minute audio walks you through simple exercises you must master to deeply connect with your intuitive abilities. (You participate with Tara – she does the exercises with you and adds her energy to further enhance YOUR intuitive abilities). In just minutes a day, you’ll feel a stronger, deeper, more automatic connection to, and awareness of, your intuitive gifts.

Meditation Toolkit
A gift from Sarah McLean, author of Soul-Centered: Transform Your Life in 8 Weeks with Meditation

• A 20-minute Gratitude Meditation, featured on Sarah’s bestselling CD Meditate.
• A 40-minute Loving Your Body, Transcending Your Mind Meditation with Sarah
• A 25-minute Loving Kindness Meditation to cultivate an open, loving heart.
• You’ll also get to listen to Sarah speak on The Five Essentials to Meditation and receive access to Hay House Radio’s 8 Lesson Series on her bestselling book, Soul-Centered.

Subscribers to our “Today’s Inspiration” newsletter and weekly digest have already received access to all these amazing gifts. Not a subscriber? No problem!

Just click here by April 30 & we’ll share the details of getting these gifts!

Most of these gifts have a value of more than $100 on their individual websites and all you have to do is click on the link, follow the instructions, and they’re yours- for FREE! How awesome is that?!!! Just remember to get your gifts soon!

Thank you again for being such an important part of our community. We greatly appreciate your reading our inspiration each day, and also appreciate your sharing it to help us grow.

The mission statement of InspireMeToday.com is hanging on the wall above my desk. It reads:

To inspire the world by helping people remember that they are not alone, that they are loved and supported, and to empower them to play bigger in the world.

In the next few weeks we’ll be sending you a link to take a 1-minute survey online, to see how we can support you even more. Thank you in advance for your participation!

Please feel free to share your birthday wishes or your comments on how InspireMeToday.com has made a difference in your life, in the comment section below. Your feedback is what fuels the fires of our team to keep bringing you great inspiration daily.

Thank you again for all of your love and support. We look forward to celebrating many, many more birthdays with you, and continuing to inspire you to remember how magnificent you truly are.

Love and hugs,

Gail

Photo Credit: Birthday Cake by Mayoi

Are you trying to take in every moment, however how big or small, every day? Are you finding happiness in those moments? Here are some things you may find joy in:

• Take and make time every day to play with your kids.
• Give some extra love and attention to your pet, if you have one or more.
• Find at least one thing that was wonderful about your day.
• Take in the sunset and enjoy its beauty.
• Savor the loving glances from your spouse, whenever they happen.
• Enjoy the simple things your kids say and do.
• Sit on your patio or porch at night and watch people and cars go by. If the weather isn’t the best, just take a few minutes to do this at the end of your day.
• A little note laying on your pillow or on your kitchen counter – the little things like that can brighten your day.
• Make popcorn and have a movie night.
• Look at nature and take in all its beauty. You can find some amazing things even in the cold months of winter.
• To go along with the last point, take a short walk and enjoy all of winter’s beauty. The way the frost and snow lays on tree branches to the different patterns of snowflakes or the way icicles hang off rooftops.
• Find your favorite quiet place in the house and read your favorite or a good book. Make time for you.

Happiness is an inside job®.

I ran across a description of one of my enemies… DOUBT! Author Jacqueline Winspear wrote: “Doubt. Was it an emotion? A sense? Or was it just a short stubby word to describe a response that could diminish a person in a finger snap?”

And while I most times write my blog and how it relates to the art of writing, I had a thought.  THIS COULD APPLY TO LIFE [AND HOW WE LIVE IT]  AS WELL!

I wrote earlier about my being in good company.  Regardless if we writers are obscure or famous, we all doubt ourselves and our work.  What if Henry Charles Bukowski, or Ernest Hemingway, or John Steinbeck had let DOUBT win?  Put away their pen, dumped their scribbles into a shoe box and made a trip to the attic, got a day job and never wrote another word?  It doesn’t bear thinking about.  WHAT IF WE ALL JUST QUIT?  GAVE UP AND LAID DOWN.  BUT HUMANS ARE BY NATURE FIGHTERS, WINNING OVER SOMETIMES INSURMOUNTABLE ODDS!

J. Michael Straczynski

“When in ‘doubt’, blow something up.”

(When in doubt do something nice for yourself.  Sit in the park and watch the world.  Make a list of ten things you like about yourself.)

F.Scott Fitzgerald

“All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath.”

(Life in general is swimming along, holding your breath and trying to do the best you can.)

E.M. Forster

“How do I know what I think until I see what I say?”

(So often words pop out of our mouths before we’ve thought it through.)

Tapani Bagge

“Everything that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. 
And later on you can use it in some story.” 

(Amen, amen to that!  and you’d be surprised just how strong and resilient you really are!)

Maya Angelou  

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

(There is no greater agony than bearing A DREAM inside you and not fulfilling it.)

Elinor Lipman

“Critics have been described as people who go into the street after battle and shoot the wounded.” 

(People will shoot you when you’re down.  Get up, bullet wounds bleeding, and soldier on…don’t let the haters and the unenlightened change the way you live your life.)

Leo Rosten

“The only reason for being a professional writer is that  you just can’t help it.”

(Decide that you just can’t help being a better person, striving for a better you!)

Let’s see …..when were the worst moments?  DOUBT clawing at me, whispering in my ear, crawling up my spine telling me that I’ll never make it, I’ll never finish a whole novel, that I don’t know the first thing about writing poetry.  Writing play scripts was relatively easy for me. After all I had been in theatre reading scripts for over thirty years.  And the stories simply fell out of the sky and into my brain when writing a script.

When I could no longer resist the urgency of writing about the women who wait outside prison walls, I researched the length of the average novel; number of pages and words.  Yikes!  Over 300 pages and 70,000 words.  DOUBT was screaming in my ear: ‘you’ll never be able to write that many pages.’  ‘you’re a playwright; not a novelist’, ‘who do you think you’re kidding?’

But I had a true story (several of them, in fact) and all I needed to do was flesh those stories out.  Write one page at a time.  WRITE ONE PAGE AT A TIME IN YOUR LIFE.  MAKE TODAY THE BEST YOU CAN MAKE IT.  THEN MAKE TOMORROW EVEN BETTER!  

Love, 

Trish

Inspiration is one of the indefinables of life, like love, talent, creativity and happiness. And like love or happiness it is not ours to own or possess.

It is part of something deeper than our personality.

Firstly, we have to be able to recognise it! Once we can recognise it we need to invite it in, seize the moment when it happens and go with it. This implies a couple of things: that it is helpful to have a lifestyle and attitude conducive to inspiration. This is what is meant by an attitude of ‘Yes!’ and one of adventure. Saying ‘No.’ Keeps us locked into what we know. Saying No means we don’t want things to move or change.

Inspiration is like fresh air and saying yes is like having the windows open. As soon as we close the windows to keep the fresh air in the room it becomes stale.

Or a clenched fist that wants to hold on can only contain a pocket of air while an open hand that trusts, holds the entire world.

The second implication is having the craft or guile to move with inspiration. Following your bliss doesn’t mean you wont face tough times, quite the opposite! Bliss is earned through the tension of opposites and finding the middle way between them. Following your bliss means you are ready to face the challenge, you are ready to accept your gifts. Accepting your greatness is a big challenge to identity. Our identities are intermingled with the eyes of others. Embracing your talent can produce fear and jealousy in those around you. You may even lose friends. This is why many people don’t want to be brilliant. It is the easy option to remain small and not shake the boat.

‘How do I know if I am following my bliss?’ You never want to stop! When you have an intellectual idea of how you should fit in, or one given to you by others, there’s always a part deep down within that just wants whatever you are doing to stop. You may even be enjoying your tennis match, or yoga class, or helping a client, but at the end of the day when you end the session, it always feels like a relief. It was an effort.

Being effortless means you can keep going. It’s not a job for you, it’s a hobby. GREAT challenges can come in your chosen field but you are happy to face them. In fact the bigger challenge brings more energy. This is where inspiration happens in abundance. Inspiration is the flowering of your natural flow with the activity that requires no effort from you to want to do it in the first place.

Sometimes you are so inspired by your work it simply becomes your life. This is what it means to inspire others by your presence. You don’t have to say inspiring quotes, you may simply be talking about your craft but the manner in which you are talking allows a transmission of your inner light, that is ignited by your lifestyle, to spark someone else.

Inspiration is the light of your true self manifesting through your true path.

Find the path that fits like a shoe, but don’t try too hard! It is YOU remember, your life, your light shining through, your bliss.

Don’t worry it will happen naturally just get out of your own way when it does!

Photo Credit: Max Elman.

I am not an inexhaustible resource. I didn’t say these words until I turned 40. I really thought before that if I put my mind to it, if I just did a little each day, if I wished, prayed, manifested and poked voodoo dolls I could muscle it and make it come true.

Walking with my little son and my dog Sally helps me recharge

I really think that before my life collapsed, I really truly thought I could do anything I set my mind to, that I would find the time in my day to do the things that were important to me and I would somehow find the ways and means to get my programs, ideas and books out there.

Yeah, right.

Two premature babies later. One mom buried. Two dogs cremated. One foreclosure, two liquidated cars and to just top it off, I gained back the 25 pounds that took FOREVER to lose.

I used to hear people say things like, “You need to take care of yourself,” “You need to put yourself first,” and “You need to be at the top of your ‘to-do’ list.”  I checked all my lists and my day planner and the only place I could find something that even related to me personally was on the bottom of my grocery list under the pseudonym “chocolate bars.”

Even that was scratched off most weeks as the scale continued to climb.

Then I fell apart after my divorce. That pitiful time where I cried every day at least once for 43 straight days. Was I depressed? Probably. Did I medicate? Probably should have but didn’t. I simply felt every feeling that was bottled up in the past 15 years and it all had to come out.  Once that storm passed, I felt drained – inside and out.

It was then that I had to pick up the pieces of my life and rebuild. It was then and only then that those phrases above got through my thick head. I needed to take care of myself first. My mom was dead. My husband left. There were two kids looking at me from bouncy seat and high chair respectively and they needed someone who could do this.

I read a book about the proper care and feeding of husbands and all I could think about was, “What about the proper care and feeding of me?” I started scribbling all my little ditties about what I needed to do and when Dr. Laura said it’s the wife’s responsibility to set her time so that she can take care of her husband and her children, a light went on. I realized that it’s not my responsibility for them but for me!

I am not an inexhaustible resource for school functions, soccer leagues, church events, kids clothing, yard sales and whatever is on my plate this week. So every Sunday night after the kids go to bed, I write down in my planner what I can do this week. Not what I need to do, not what I am guilted in to doing and not what I think I should be doing because my expectations of myself are unrealistic at best.

I also write down every week in my planner three things:

• I am not an inexhaustible resource.
• I have the same 24 hours as everyone else.
• The world will not fall apart if I say no.

I hope you learn from me and don’t wait 40 years for this to sink in. But if you do, and you wait to 40, 50 or 60 you will be fine – just tired, cranky and overworked but fine. Because we all learn what we need to learn just at the point we need to learn it most. Learning what we need to learn when we learn and paying attention to that is one of the secrets to Bouncing with Style.

Accept yourself for who you are! In a world where value is placed on how you look and what you wear, it can be difficult to try and “fit in”. Here’s something to think about and seriously ask yourself, did you know that your beauty and happiness start with you?

Think about nature and all the varieties of plants and trees as well as flowers. They come in colors, shapes and sizes. It is the same with humans. So ask yourself, How could we judge nature and say that one flower looks more beautiful than another?

So, why would you want to look exactly like someone else? Don’t you want to have a unique beauty, just like every flower on this earth is a unique beauty? What can you do get away from this idea that you don’t look good enough? Here is the simple answer….

Stop watching all those music videos and stop looking at all those magazines with celebrities in them! It may be hard to do and you may be addicted to OK or People magazine. It seems like you just have to know what the celebrities are wearing. You tell yourself you want to look “normal” just like those celebrities.

What is normal anyway? Trust me, if you think your knight in shining armor will appear if you look like that, well, it just doesn’t happen like that.

Remember, you will never be truly happy in life until you can accept yourself for who you are. Happiness and beauty start with you!

Happiness is an inside job®.

Last year I updated my website and discovered blogging. Now, you may ask, what has that to do with self-growth, self-love, or well being??

Writing a blog about what I love most in my life: writing. In doing so I have grown as a writer and as a person seeking self truth. In some strange way (and even though I am writing fiction), my writing keeps me honest… about life and about myself. I believe that if just one person starts writing, because of my blog, I have succeeded. I will probably never know if anyone was inspired by my writing and that’s okay. What a bonus!

I lost someone very close to me to suicide several years ago. As most writers will tell you, “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger and someday you may be able to use it in a story.” After many years of healing from that loss I did write a fictional version of the events and in the writing of it, I was able to continue to heal. It was cathartic and also helped me to understand the person who took his own life. I thought I knew him, but alas, I did not.

That the most jovial, good natured person can be hiding behind laughter. That deep inside there may be pain so great that it cannot be borne any longer. Regardless of how selfish an act of suicide is, it’s the only answer at that given moment. To do anything to end the buried pain; a burden that can be shared with no one else.

I look at others differently now. What lurks below the façade? Are the beautiful and successful people really happy and fulfilled? Or are they just like me? Full of the remorse, pain, joy, love, anger, guilt, disappointment, doubt and hope that life tends to heap on us, sometimes in un-equal measure.

We are really only responsible for ourselves and the little control we truly have is only about ourselves. In a previous Inspire Me Today piece, I talked about trying to fix others. It simply can’t be done. But we can continue to look at ourselves, be inspired to be a better person, to be kind and generous and, above all, to love.

I’ve embraced an attitude that I rely on when I or others are critical of someone else’s actions. I now believe that we, as flawed and confused human beings, stumble along through life doing the best that we can do at any given moment. Some of us are seeking a better self. Working to behave with dignity, to learn, to achieve a quality of grace in this mad, mad world.

Photo Credit: Max Elman

Nearly everyone has been hurt by something someone said, did or didn’t do. It’s just a fact of life. It’s just the way it is. The sooner we understand that and the sooner we understand that it’s not always about us, the faster we can deal with it and move on with our lives.

Family drawing after divorce.

When my husband left me with two small children while my mother was dying of breast cancer, the word forgiveness did not enter my vocabulary. I was so busy managing the day-to-day chaos of sickness, a premature baby and an ornery toddler that I didn’t have time for anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge. I can tell you that during that two year span of time where I also went through a foreclosure, and a deed in lieu of foreclosure. I had to sell my car and my dog died. I heard from everyone that I needed to do two things: work on myself and forgive.

The working on myself sounded pretty good, but the forgiveness part burned in my heart like a fever. See after growing up in church, it became clear to me I never really understood what forgiveness meant. All I knew then was it was something I needed to do. My friend who was a doctor told me if I learned how to forgive, I would be healthier, have better relationships, and have less anxiety, depression and hostility. Gee, ya think?

I read all these books and went to seminars that taught me that forgiveness doesn’t mean that I have to deny what happened to me or relieve the other person of responsibility of what they have done. It doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. It just means I have to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. Sounds good.

The one thing I couldn’t figure out was, how? How do you forgive when the wrong keeps paying you back day after day and year after year–especially when the affair is in your face in a daily basis and so is the financial devastation in your monthly bank statement?

I tried burning things. Pictures of him. Pictures of her. A voodoo doll I made. I wrote in a journal mean, hateful, passionate things until my fingers fell off and the marks looked like they had been carved there by Satan. I wrote a manifesto and shredded it, releasing it into the wind. I chanted. I meditated. I burned sage and I burned about 50 white candles to clear out my rage.

Then while sitting in the bathtub at midnight on a Saturday night while my kids slept, I looked out the window and whispered enough. I was ready to actively choose to forgive the man I married for not seeing the gigantic mistake he made in cheating on me. I was no longer going to define myself by how I had been hurt. I wasn’t going to teach my children that their mom was so mortally wounded that life did not go on… and I was going to get better!

Shortly after, I buried my mom. I let go of the grief of the loss of my marriage and replaced it with the grief over the loss of my mother. I won’t tell you that I have found compassion and understanding for my ex-husband leaving me during such a difficult time. I won’t tell you that I have minimized the hurt I sustained from that betrayal and subsequent abandonment.

I will tell you what you probably know. Time heals all wounds. Chocolate helps a broken heart. Do everything non-destructive and non-intrusive to help yourself during your healing process. If you need to dance around naked in your living room with the drapes  shut and the kids are on overnight, do it!

There is not one way to arrive at the decision to forgive, it just happens. It happens when you decide to stop punishing yourself for what happened to you.  Bouncing with Style is all about how you take care of yourself as you recover from what life throws at you. You can recover, you can rebound, or you can Bounce with Style.

If you’ve ever been chased by a saber toothed tiger, running madly for your life, you’ve probably experienced fear. If you’ve ever been summoned to your boss’ office to be reprimanded, you probably think you’ve experienced fear then too.

However, I think that life-threatening situations, like being chased by a tiger who wants to eat you, are legitimate things to fear. Situations that are not life-threatening can sometimes seem scary, but I’d like to invite you to see them as nothing more than something that causes discomfort.

For anyone who’s ever gone bungee jumping, paragliding or sky diving, you understand the knee-knocking, stomach-clenching, I have to pee feeling that you get when you’re ready to leap into the unknown. It’s scary. It’s uncomfortable.  It’s not fun. It almost makes you want to turn back, to the safe, mundane, the known world around you.

But that’s not what makes us grow. And, we know the exhilaration that waits on the other side of the challenge. For when we expand our experiences, we expand our world. Stepping outside of the box most often leads to discomfort initially, but the rewards beyond the discomfort are well worth the price we have to pay in overcoming our fears.

The greatest fear I’ve ever known was stepping off the ledge bungee jumping. Interestingly enough, the greatest exhilaration I’ve even known was immediately after taking that one step.

Imagine the worlds that would have never been discovered if early explorers had never sailed their ships from the harbor or expeditions had never trekked across the mountains. As humans, we were born with an innate desire to explore, grow and evolve.

Next time you feel fear, look around and ask yourself, “Where’s the tiger? Is this something life-threatening, or is this something that I’m afraid of because it’s new?” In the remote case where it’s the former, do what you have to do to protect yourself. Run fast.

But, in 99% of the cases where it’s the latter, I invite you to welcome the challenge as an exercise in your personal growth. Look at each fearful situation and ask yourself again, “Where’s the tiger?” If you don’t see one, perhaps that will help you differentiate between true fear and perceived fear, otherwise known as discomfort.

I invite you to do something this week that scares you…. something that makes you feel VERY uncomfortable. Perhaps it’s asking someone out on a date, going bungee jumping, talking to your boss about a raise, planning a move to a new city, doing stand up comedy…. or whatever it is for you.

Like any exercise, the more we do something the easier it gets. And, what we learn doing one thing is transferable to another. In other words, just as lifting weights in the gym will make it easier to move heavy furniture, doing things that scare you will make it easier for you to deal with fear in other ways. Bungee jumping will make it easier for you to ask your boss for a raise. Singing at karaoke night will make it easier for you to do public speaking, and so on.

Once you start exercising that muscle by feeling the fear and doing it anyway, lingering fears will start to melt and disappear. You will become invincible. Okay, it might take a bit of time for the invincible part, but with enough practice, you’ll realize that you’re not being chased by a tiger and therefore, you’ll be better equipped to deal with any lingering discomfort.

So, what’s your “tiger”? What scares you? I challenge you to go do something today that scares you, or at least think of something you can do in the next month, that you’d love to do, but you’re afraid to. Then start planning and go do it!

For me, I’m going to get recertified to scuba dive. Just the thought of going under the water makes me gasp for air, but I’m going to feel the discomfort and do it anyway. Tigers can’t live under the water.

How about you? What’s the one thing that you’d love to do, if only you weren’t afraid to do it? Please share it with me below and then let’s grow together. I can’t wait to hear your success stories.

Photo Credit: Keith Roper

Choose A State of Happiness. Remember that happiness is mostly dependent on our state of mind, not on our social standing as a member of society or how much money we make or have. As long as we have the basic necessities in life, things are pretty good. It also depends on what are focus in life happens to be. Is the glass half-full or half-empty? We need to get back to living in the moment and experiencing everything, just like we did when we were young.

Make time to treat yourself like you would a favorite child. The caring, the attention, the concern that you would give a small child, give that attention to yourself. Put healthy food on your plate at regular times. Take time to listen to your inner voice. Take the time in your busy life to meet friends, take care of your health, and practice moderation. Ask yourself,  Do I have what I need for a good life? Remember to always love yourself.

Create Moments of Happiness. What gives you happiness depends on who you are. Do you enjoy a half hour of exercise? A few minutes of quiet? A walk around the neighborhood? Plan your own happiness for today.  Be sure to schedule time for your Moment of Happiness. Give it the top priority. Live in that moment of happiness. Relive the moment again later. Journal it. Remember it. Savor it. When you start to feel down or upset, recall that moment of happiness. It will change your mood dramatically.

Happiness is an inside job®.

Emotional ups and downs are a normal part of the human experience. But when the lows continue to get a bit lower, or when the symptoms of anxiety interfere with your ability to perform well at work or to enjoy life, there are some steps you can take. The life circumstances and reality may not go away, but the impact that the tough times take on your body and mind can be minimized.

Knowledge is power.

Do some reading: Knowledge is power, but it’s also important not to read (or dwell) too much on all of the information that is out there, as it can overwhelm you. Educate yourself on your own symptoms and situation, but then trade in for a more uplifting read. Consider a daily-reader of inspirational quotes or short messages of empowerment. Every bookstore has a wonderful section of these.

Establishing an early morning routine of reading for just a minute or two can help you to become inspired to drive your day into the right direction. Right here on Inspire Me Today you can sign up for a daily 3-minute inspirational pick-me-up to get you going. Or search your bookstore for a specific author who suits your fancy. Melody Beattie is one well known writer who is known for incredibly empowering, useful, and inspiring ideas.

Lean when you need to lean: Odds are, you’re a really good support system to a lot of people in your life. You might even be considered to be ‘the strong one,’ and you probably don’t think twice about helping others.

Well, now is your time to lean. What goes around comes around, and it’s important to give yourself permission to accept some support when you need it. Many people have to learn to let support in, just as a baby learns to walk. It might even feel completely foreign or uncomfortable at first, because for a long time, you may have put on a brave face. It can be a slow process, and it might take some conscious practice. But you can do it.

What note do you need to post on your mirror or window?

The silver lining is that it will give others in your life the opportunity to feel needed and to feel good about themselves by just being a listening ear to a family member or friend who needs their support. Give them that gift.

Take an inventory: Literally write down a numbered list of what makes your body FEEL better. Consciously think about what makes you relax, breathe easier, sleep more soundly, and/or have a quieter head where the thoughts don’t race through your mind. Keep paper and pen handy, and when you literally feel yourself thinking “I feel a little better,” go write down what you were doing at that exact moment.

One woman shared her thoughts about “heat.”  She listed a long, hot shower; a steamy cup of tea; the softest blanket in the house and some time in front of the fireplace; a warm, cozy bed. Maybe it’s music or the sun or your face. Or stopping the world to take some time with your pet.

The first step, really, is to give your body a treat, a break, a rest, and some TLC.

On your mark, get set: Go. Take some baby steps here if you have to. We all love the feeling of checking something off the list, right? Write out a series of prompts on your calendar that will encourage you to chase the blues away with some exercise. It works. Maybe it’s a once a week walk with a friend, teamed up at yoga class on another day.

If you’re new to exercise, again – baby steps. Try for three “I did it” feelings by checking off three days this week that you “move more.” Write on your calendar prompts like “Walk to the post office” or “Treadmill for 15” or “Jog for 10.” The next week, up the ante a little. Shoot for small increases each week.

She did it! And so can you!

This covers two bases. Clearly, we all know that exercise is good for us, but accomplishing the task is often an entirely different story. But if you can attain both the exercise and the “I did it” feeling several times each week, this will decrease the results of internal stress on your mind and body. Truly, that’s a win-win.

If you’ve never tried a yoga class, now is the time. Try one or two at-home sessions from YouTube or a DVD. When you get to the class, you will quickly realize that each and every person there has arrived to take care of him or herself. No one will be watching you or caring about what you look like. They are there to unwind and turn inward for a while, and so are you. So leave any insecurity at the door, and gift yourself with some inner peace.

Yes, you can: This is another win-win. If you set your sights on a goal, it will give your mind another place to go. You can get away from the thoughts that bring on the symptoms of anxiety and depression.  And whether it’s walking or jogging a 5K or saving a few bucks each week toward a small or large treat for yourself, or creating a thoughtful gift for a loved one, set your sights – and do it.

Map out a plan for yourself, and give yourself the pat on the back with each small task that adds up to bringing you toward your goal. Many people write or type a goal and actually put the goal into a small picture frame. Place the frame in a spot you’ll see every day, and before you know it, you might be crossing the finishing line!

If, after a few weeks of attempting on your own to manage these symptom and the signs continue, you do owe it to yourself to seek some professional guidance. Investigate your doctor’s reputation before signing on, and remember that it’s okay to shop around. The hope will be for this to be a lasting relationship, and you want to make sure you’re in good hands.

The beauty of scheduling just a few sessions is that often, that’s all it takes. You will be empowered to learn some new strategies and tools, and then, when an occasion arises for which you need a bit of guidance, you have that phone number ready. Knowing that the relationship between you and your doctor has already been established and in place makes it downright easy to schedule just a “refresher” session. Make that the goal.

Life is too short, and you deserve a healthy body, spirit and mind. Remember: You are the most important person in your life.

Photo Credits: sweetonveg, James Lee, Tony Alter

William James once said, “In the dim background of our mind, we know what we ought to be doing but somehow we cannot start.”

That’s sort of how the end of winter feels. You can sense the change coming, but it isn’t here yet and it is intensely frustrating.

Here are some more quotes to help you remember that spring will come and, with it, a release from the cold, gray, extra-layers-of-sweaters existence you’ve been plodding through for the last few months.

It’s almost here! So close and yet so far away!

“Spring passes and one remembers one’s innocence. Summer passes and one remembers one’s exuberance. Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence. Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance.”  - Yoko Ono

“Spring is the only revolutionary whose revolution has succeeded.” – Marianne Van Hirtum

“Never cut down a tree in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.” – Robert H Schuller

“Spring is nature’s way of saying ‘Let’s party!’” – Robin Williams

“In the spring I have counted 136 different types of weather inside of 24 hours.”  - Mark Twain

“The true harbinger of spring is not the crocuses or swallows returning to Capistrano but the sound of the bat on the ball.”  - Bill Veeck

“A little madness in the spring is wholesome even for the King.” – Emily Dickinson

“Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.” – Doug Larson

“Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wonderous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach

“Spring is God’s way of saying ‘one more time!’” – Robert Orben

Don’t worry, going-stir-crazy-readers. Spring will be along soon enough!

I pushed my stroller into the law office dragging a grape juice-stained three year old boy as his little brother pounded on the tray complete with all those little plastic jangling things that were supposed to keep him busy. Clearly they irritated him as he let out a wail and now they also irritated me. An impossibly groomed receptionist looked alarmed at the rag tag crew that just rolled into her fancy office.

My son Zachary with my brother unafraid of taking a risk.

This was a law firm specializing in divorce. This can’t be the first time someone flung cheerios under the fancy leather couches. They should be glad my older son left his “my first black Sharpie” at home. The cream colored walls with the shiny elegantly striped wallpaper just begged for the wobbly sliding-to-the-left letter “M” he was practicing in pre-school.

I hadn’t planned on filing for divorce with my kids in tow, but since my ex had been AWOL for the last month and my parents were 2500 miles away dealing with my mother’s breast cancer treatments this was it.  You want my business, you want my retainer… then you get my sticky kids. Oh! And don’t touch the baby, he bites.

I will tell you I was terrified. My fingers were stiff and cold as I dug in my purse for anything that would keep my 3 year old from eating the magazines on the table. They called my name I don’t know how many times and when it finally registered I looked around the empty lobby as if to say, “Who me?” Other than my kids, I was the only one there.

I told my story to the attorney who asked me why I married the jerk in the first place. I stumbled and stammered. I didn’t know any better. He changed? I made a mistake. I’m stupid?  I grew up? He didn’t? My kids deserved a faithful dad? I was so ashamed to be there. I had no answers. I was completely lost. I wasn’t empowered and I wasn’t comforted. I crawled out of there dragging my ornery and decibel busting kids out of there and I never went back.

It was months later when I finally got up the nerve to go file again. This time I was still scared to death, but I was calm. The old rude attorney had forced me to look at some unpleasant aspects.  He didn’t sugar coat anything. He told me what I was in for. He told me what opposing counsel would throw at me. I went home the first time with my tail between my legs. The second time I was ready.
Armed with tax returns, copies of emails, hotel receipts, phone bills I was ready for battle. California is a no-fault state and I really didn’t need any of those things. I was the breadwinner so I wasn’t seeking support. But what that obnoxious attorney did was kick me in the pants to show me that I was taking a risk with my life and my children’s lives without being prepared. This time I was taking charge.

I had to the option of serving my ex at his office, in front of his oafish “horsey” and not in a “young colt-like manner” girlfriend/secretary, at her house where they now lived thinking of a million ways that could humiliate him as he had humiliated me.  But I didn’t. I didn’t need to. I was in charge now. I was no longer sitting on pins and needles waiting to see if my husband would come home after his latest breakup with yet another dis-empowered, dis-enfranchised and dis-honorable woman.  In the end, I called him and gave him the address of the law office and told him he could pick up the papers.

See when you take risks based solely on emotion, you don’t know the outcome. It’s scary. It’s intimidating. It’s very overwhelming.  The first law office I visited when I was completely unprepared was taking a risk – I wasn’t prepared. I was just doing anything I could to escape the pain of betrayal and dragging my babies along for the ride.

The second law office I visited was when I got real with myself, examined the situation, prepared myself and my family financially, and ultimately took charge of my life.  There are times in life when we have to take a risk – and those are not to be denied.

But most of the time if we slow down, get real, get prepared we have fewer risks to take and a better experience – the outcome is what the outcome is. But, we know we did our best. One of the big secrets to Bouncing with Style is turning taking risk into taking charge.

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve loved surprises. Many times I start my day by asking the Universe to surprise and delight me that day… and to make it so outrageous, that I’ll know that my request was answered. It always works for me but rarely in the way that I think it will.

Knowing that I was going to hike through the snow in Glacier National Park today, I put in my request this morning, for something that would make me smile. I had expectations of a beautiful rainbow amidst the snow, of seeing a bear who had just awakened from hibernation, or perhaps the dance of two bald eagles. I was looking for nature at her finest, with a spectacular display of natural splendor.

Koda, my 5-year old Samoyed pup, and I hiked on the west side of Lake MacDonald, only to sink into the snow so deep that I couldn’t walk. Then we drove to the northeast point of the lake on the Going To the Sun Road, but the road was closed due to too much snow.

I love photographing the beauty of nature and was somewhat disappointed with the dreary day, the fog and snow, and the fact that I couldn’t see more than about 50’, due to the weather. My majestic mountains were completely hidden. I was also disappointed that my surprise hadn’t shown up yet. God listens on dreary days too, right?

Thinking of one last vista spot that always takes my breath away, we drove to the Apgar dock, usually home to the best sweeping lake views in all of Glacier. There’s a specific dock there where Koda and I have taken some incredible photographs throughout the various seasons of the year. I was hoping for a sneak peak at the mountains, with the sun trying to break through.

As I parked the car and walked to the dock I burst out laughing. The Universe was delivering on my request for not only a smile, but for a big laugh as well. As I trudged through the deep snow in my down coat, hat, gloves and boots, with the snow blowing everywhere, I saw two women standing in front of me, at the edge of the dock.

Not a rainbow, not a bear, not even a moose… just two women… in strapless, floor-length ball gowns standing on the dock in the snow. Seriously. I couldn’t stop laughing! Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined this is what I’d see in Glacier National Park in the middle of a spring snowstorm!

As it turns out, two 20 year-old girls had decided earlier this week to do something special together to honor their friendship. They decided to do a photo shoot in Glacier, in evening gowns. They hadn’t anticipated the snow, but showed up anyway, laughing and having a crazy time with the experience, even though they were freezing.

It was fun to stand back and watch other hikers come to the spot, turn the corner, see the dock and do a double take with what was standing in front of them. I wondered if these other people had also asked for inspiration this morning, and if this moment was as special for them as it was for me. It was hard not to get caught up in the beauty of the moment, with everyone laughing together as the two women shivered as they danced in their ball gowns in the snow.

I didn’t get to see my bear, my rainbow or my moose… but I did get a smile and much more than I asked for. I left the park shortly thereafter and smiled the whole drive home, feeling loved and connected… to the beauty of the park, the people I met, the two crazy snow-dancing women, and most of all, to that great force who answered a simple request in such an outrageously fun way.

I was inspired (and I hope you are too).

The simple, honest answer is no. You may experience a sense of happiness or temporary happiness but it won’t last.

Connected closely with beauty are five things that you think will make you happy, but in the end really won’t. In no particular order, they are:

Fame. Studies show nothing is more stressful for a human than when their goals are tied to the approval of others. Particularly when those “others” are an enormous crowd of fickle strangers holding you up to an unrealistic ideal built by publicists, thick makeup and heavily Photoshopped magazine covers.

Wealth. Your brain adjusts feelings of happiness downward after you’ve reached some goal or other. It regulates the good feelings, presumably so that you have motivation to reach the next goal instead of just lounging by the pool for the rest of your days. Also, as social creatures, we compare ourselves with others, so we think wealth is necessary to happiness – but it isn’t.

Beauty. Remember that beautiful people have the same self-esteem issues that those who are perceived as less beautiful have. Being physically attractive may have advantages, but it won’t make you happy.

Genius. This is being used in a much broader sense, meaning anyone with an extraordinary talent or skill.

Power. All the other aspects mentioned above are all about power. Think about it. Fame is about having power in the relationship with the fans. Beauty is about gaining power through others’ sexual desire and jealousy. Genius means society needs your skills more than you need its approval. Money . . . well, money and power are connected.

Remember, these things might give you fleeting satisfaction, but whether you have them or not, you can still choose to be happy. Happiness is an inside job®.

Life is amazing. We all have our OWN unique filter – perception. What might be true to one person may not be so for another.  So here is the thing…. In life sometimes our journey isn’t always easy, and we have choices on how we are choosing to perceive the situation and not only that, how we are choosing to either react and/or act.

Look at this picture. There is so much to see, yet everyone may be drawn to certain aspects of the picture: the water, the sunset, the angles or the different compartments, if you will, made by the trees branches….

So, where am I going with all of this? Simple. When in situations that may not be so wonderful and or comfortable… stop, breathe, and then truly take the time to take in the situation. Feel it, look at it, and listen to what your heart is saying. Then, and only then, make the decision of how you are choosing to react and/or act.

Some people look at hardships and see losses. I only see opportunities. Why… the things we have been through in our life have been opportunities of self-discovery and choices on shrinking into self or blossoming out of self. Through the blossoming of self, we have been opened to new possibilities and outcomes. And in being open, we are now in a space of Conscious Co-Creation, if you will, with the Universe… saying, “Yes, I am ready for more.”  Not only that, you never know who has been waiting to hear your pearls of wisdom. We are all teachers for each other.

Expand your horizons and be willing to see and listen to others’ points of view- their perspectives… It is a very diverse world out there with many paths of wisdom. If you automatically close your mind to another’s point of view, then whether you like it or not, you are missing out on some amazing golden nuggets and “AHA!” moments. There is NOTHING gained in opposition, however there is LOTS gained in being open-minded and neutral in a moment, so that from there you get to learn something and then choose what to do with information.

I love learning from all types of people. I love the different angles and perceptions. It expands my mind, body and spirit. It challenges me and makes me discover new things, new ways, and new people. It also pushes me out of my comfort zone. And, it is ONLY when we are out of our comfort zones that we truly grow. That is where much divine wisdom lies: outside the circle of status quo.

Stretch yourself, be positive, and know that you can do anything you set your mind to!

“We are the Actors/Actresses, Writers, Editors, Producers, Directors, and Co-Creators of Our Lives. We Can Create Anything, Anytime… Let’s Do It. Enjoy the Journey!” ~ Carly Alyssa Thorne

Although I had been writing off and on since college, it wasn’t until I published my first book, Jew in Jail, in 2004 that I really felt like I had accomplished something.

The fact that I penned it while behind bars was increasingly instrumental in helping me regain my self-esteem and self-confidence, which had sunk to an all-time low when I was first arrested back in 1998.

These days, I go around delivering motivational and inspirational speeches on recovery from addiction at drug treatment programs, hospital detoxes, jails, schools, or anywhere people are either still sick and suffering or headed down a destructive path, since helping others also keeps me clean and sober as well.

I have always found writing to be liberating, as it is one profession that is personal, has no set hours, affords one the opportunity to be creative, and garners feedback from potential fans.

In addition, a person does not even have to write for the purpose of making money, as it is a craft that lends itself to expressing one’s feelings while using the talents and abilities they were either born with, or acquired through education or life’s lessons.

If you have always wanted to write something yourself – a book, poem, song, short story, or even keep a journal or diary – I highly recommend it.

You don’t even have to publish it. It can be tucked away under your mattress and saved for a later day, if, for nothing else, than to chart and measure your progress.

The point is, you have the ability to compose anything your heart and mind desires, and by doing so, just may discover how great you are at it, and then go on to a brilliant and successful career.

I continue to write blog posts, articles, and contribute comments on many internet websites geared to book promotion, as well as recovery from alcohol, drug and gambling addiction.

It allows me to stay connected to people and topics I am very interested in, learn more about both industries, and broaden my horizons.

In a nutshell, it permits me to go from a “Jew in Jail,” to a man who refuses to fail!

But I want all of you to put pen to paper and see what you are passionate about these days.

In this fast-paced world we live in, private time is at a premium, but setting aside a few minutes every night to jot our thoughts down is well worth the effort.

And who knows – you just might have the next great novel or number one song in the country renting space in your brain, clamoring to come out and be seen!

When people hear my story of heroically leaving a cheating husband while my mother dies of cancer with two small babies while building a solid business and creating two popular radio shows, it sounds really glamorous. Even to me and I lived it, but I’m here to tell you the truth. It was pretty ugly.

Have you seen my Self Esteem?

My husband moved out and he had been living in a spare bedroom for a year, so you would think it wouldn’t be a shock to my system, but it was. I cried every day for 43 straight days. I noted it on my planner because I thought if I hit 45 days I will go in to the doctor and be treated for depression. Just like I know as long as I remember the Battle of Hastings was in 1066 that I haven’t lost my mind. I haven’t figured out a plan for crazy. I figure it’s enough to just wonder if you are crazy to prove that you aren’t.

Day 44 I stopped crying. I didn’t leave my home office except to get my kid from kindergarten. My other one was home and my nanny helped me care for him while I built my business. What once had been a beautiful closet appointed with fine handbags, shoes and expensive garments now stood like a dusty mausoleum to another life and time.  My ex-husband, when he left, left everything behind.

I left it alone, like someone does after a death. My new uniform became Yoga Pants and a Black Batman T-shirt. I had about 7 different ones – all black, all with silver gold and yellow. All that symbolized to me the Bat Shield and no one could ever hurt me again. Pathetic. Dramatic. You bet. I did that for months.

One day I was in a hurry to pick up my son. I left my office and darted out of the house nary taking a moment to glance in the mirror.  Clearly I violated many traffic laws on the way not glancing in the rear view mirror or the side view mirror.  As I approached the elementary school I could see the reflection of a woman walking into the school.  Her hair was piled on top of her head jammed with a pencil. The faded Yoga Pants hung off her hips and the Batman shirt clung to her white, flabby arms. I dismissed her as being some weirdo mom half way to homelessness.

One of the moms walking out at the same time I was walking in gave me the strangest look. I took it as the abject humiliation of a woman betrayed when in reality I had somehow in my fatigue, business and over work had drawn all over the side of my face with a pink highlighter. I then came to the awful realization that that woman I dismissed in the reflection was ME! I grabbed my son and scooted out of the school like I had leprosy.

I didn’t go home I headed immediately to TJ Maxx, Ross, Walmart and Target buying at least 6 or 7 large mirrors. I hung them all over my house.  It was the opposite of sitting Shiva where you don’t want to see yourself grieve. I needed a big get real wake up call.  I need a mirror to reflect back to me just how far I left myself go. It’s hard to live in depression and shame when you have to face yourself on every wall.

I needed to face where I was so I could Bounce back with Style. I won’t say that I always look like a fashion plate when I leave the house, but when I do look half-baked with drippy icing and mold growing on my crusts, I’m gonna know it. The mirrors also kept me from eating myself out of or into depression. It’s hard to hide from yourself, what you are doing to yourself, what you are doing when no one is watching when you have to face yourself in the mirror.

Feng shui and the placement of mirrors might work for moving energy, but hanging those mirrors everywhere got my pale, drained, messy, highlighted and not in a good way being out into public without calling for a straitjacket. Try the mirror trick and see if it helps you like it did help me Bounce with Style.

For a week, I had aches and pains in my left thigh, glute, and rib cage. When my body started itching and burning, I scratched until I had red marks across my skin. I ached, and my thigh and midriff burned. When the pain flared, I screamed, a blurt of a sound that I produced without warning. Eventually I called Kaiser’s advice nurse.

Getting well

I told her I was taking my fibromyalgia meds as prescribed, and she referred me to a doctor who suggested increasing those meds. I did so, and in less than 24 hours, a dark angry rash spread down my glute and across my thigh. Hours later it was bigger and splotchier. I saw pimply bumps in the midst of every red spot. I feared I had developed an allergy to painkillers and muscle relaxants. You need those if you have fibromyalgia.

The phone-appointment doctor also scheduled a face-to-face appointment with my GP, and as soon as she looked at my rash, she knew I’d contracted shingles, a virus that lives in your body from the time you first get chicken pox. As you get older and your immune system weakens, you are more likely to get shingles.

The doctor sent me home with an anti-viral medication and a very strong painkiller called Percocet, and four days later, I’m starting to get better, but I’m a long way from being healthy.

So where is the inspiration in the pain of shingles?

1. I’m surviving it. That beats succumbing to it.
2. The meds are helping. I am not allergic to them.
3. But, most importantly, my body has forced me to slow down.

In between TV reruns of Judging Amy and Dr. Phil, when I’ve kept myself off the road and barely been able to walk across the room, I’ve given some thought to the roles of writing, rest, and relationships in my life.

1. My writing is sometimes good, but I sometimes overbook myself. I need to prioritize. What do I MOST want to write about?
2. Rest is essential. When I don’t get enough rest, I wear down like an Energizer Bunny on tranquilizers. When I get enough rest, I’m reinvigorated and want to write.
3. Relationships matter. I’m lucky to have a husband who cares. Since he rarely experiences pain, it’s hard for him to imagine mine. If I remain aware of that, I stay grateful for his help, instead of being sad because he doesn’t fully get it.

I’ve watched enough Dr. Phil since the shingles took hold that I feel confident saying he would be proud of my conclusions.

The recovery time for shingles is slower than I anticipated, even though I saw my mother go through it. Back in the day, I thought she was stretching her pain out longer than needed. My husband probably thinks the same thing of me now, but I know better. I’d like to tell her I understand, but I’m not always sure she can hear every message, since she’s on the other side.

Treasure what’s right about your health. Correct or cope with what is wrong. Allow yourself time to think, breathe, and reflect when you’re ill. You’ll be surprised by what you learn.

What have you discovered after an illness?

Here are six keys to achieving more love and happiness in your life.

Know the phrase “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”? Compliment people on their strengths and where they are succeeding in life. There are plenty of people who are telling someone that they have faults, but how many people are telling them something positive?

Be optimistic. The realistic 0optimist is the person who knows that there will be trials to face, but that in the end we will somehow make it through.

Remember how to be funny, even silly. Can you remember the last time you laughed so hard you cried? If you can’t, then it’s been too long. You can learn some jokes and tell them to your friends or watch a comedy show on TV. I bet you will be surprised by the reaction you get from those around you, not to mention how great it will make you feel.

Be generous with people by giving a bit of yourself away. You could give a little extra when you tip the waitress if she provided good service or you could pay for the person behind you in line when they get their coffee. You can even give hugs away and do it like every one you give is one that you’ve been paid for.

Live in the moment. Put simply, stop worrying about what tomorrow will bring and focus on today.

Love deeply. This includes not only your spouse and children, but your neighbors, coworkers and friends. This is the most important key to happiness.

Happiness is an inside job®.

One of the things that I love most about Sir Richard Branson is that he’s know for saying YES to most things. In fact, his board affectionately calls him Dr. Yes. But sometimes saying “Yes” isn’t easy, as it makes us step outside our comfort zone.

About a week ago I received an invitation from my daughter to run a half-marathon late this year. I am not, nor have I ever been a runner. I doubt that I could run a mile right now if I tried to. I’ll be 55 years old this October. I broke my leg skiing last season and my knee still isn’t happy. I can give you a long list of reasons why this is not a good idea for me.

However… I know that opportunity knocks on our door daily, and most of the time, we’re not listening. Today, I am.

My initial reaction was to say “No” and to explain why I couldn’t do this. As I was listing to myself explain all of the reasons why I couldn’t do this, I caught myself and started laughing. After all, this is what I teach to others!!!

I know that every mountain, no matter how high, always starts with the first step. I know that we have infinite potential to do whatever we put our mind to. And, I also know that I’m a little bit crazy… so, I said “YES”! Even though I have no idea how to run, or if I can… I still said “YES”.

Once the decision has been made, the rest… is just details. Richard Branson would be proud of me.

Making this commitment required me to step outside of my comfort zone- and that’s why I’m sharing it here. It’s easy to renege on this if nobody knows anything about it. It’s more difficult when thousands of people are holding me accountable.

So, I’m in the process of taking baby steps to make this a reality. In the past few days I ran/walked 3 miles twice. Baby steps. I’m tracking my progress through an awesome app for my iPhone called MapMyRun. (If you’re a walker/runner, check this out!)

Another reason I’m sharing this is to invite YOU to join me. I know what you’re thinking because I was there too, just a week ago when I was invited to do this. I know it’s a bit crazy for most of us. But THAT’S what makes this something we have to do.

I have a friend who says….”If you can’t do something, that’s why you must”. Tell him you can’t do something and he’ll explain to you why you must do that exact thing. And I get it. It makes sense.

When we step outside of our comfort zone to accomplish anything, it makes all the other possibilities hanging out in the “impossible” zone, just a little bit more possible.

So, YOU are cordially invited to join me. My first big race will be in mid September in Whitefish, Montana. Who is crazy enough to join me and get into the best shape in your life? If you can’t make it to Montana, that’s okay. Run where you are.

The important thing is to say “YES” to opportunity when it knocks, even if it seems a bit scary, and especially if it seems impossible.

I’ll keep you posted on the progress. Now, let’s go for a run!

We all have to deal with fear and anxiety in our life. Our fears and anxieties can reduce our self-confidence and help prevent us from getting what we want. One of the ways to help manage your fears is to develop some goals and then focus on reaching those goals.

Developing goals will help you manage your fears because goals help us not to focus on our fears. For instance, let’s say that you have to finish your report for work by the end of the week. If you focus on reaching that deadline, this will distract you from getting stressed and anxious. You will be focused on getting the report done for your boss.

Developing certain goals will help you to gain the motivation in doing something. Being motivated can help you in dealing with your stresses, but it will not get rid of them. Doing something you like will increase your motivation to do something besides worry and concentrating on your anxieties.

It is much easier to accomplish something if you know what you want and if you have a plan. Knowing what you want will help manage the stresses and anxieties of getting want you want. Having a sense of purpose can really help you in countering the stresses and anxieties of the situation.

Developing goals will help you to be active during your stressful times. When you are feeling stressed, you need to do something besides worry. You need to do an activity and be active.

Setting goals will help you to keep busy instead of worrying about your problems. Once you accomplish your goals, you will be in a better mood.

Photo Credit: Max Elman

One of the oldest admonitions of ancient philosophers is to “know thyself.”

To know who you are today, you need to know where you came from. And that’s part nature and part nurture. The DNA you inherited from biological ancestors is the nature. The people who powdered your butt and raised you to adulthood provided the nurturing.

Your unique combination of nature and nurture is the hand you were dealt. Learn to accept it and don’t waste any more time wishing your life started out differently. It’s what you do from today on that’s most important.

Find a passion in life that makes a difference in the world and suits your abilities. The happiest people are those who say “Thank God It’s Monday” instead of “Thank God It’s Friday.”

Create a better mousetrap and the world will NOT beat a path to your door. They need to discover that it exists, why it’s better, and why buying your mousetrap will make their lives better. In other words, how well you communicate to potential mousetrap buyers will have a bigger impact than the invention itself.

Don’t try to impress people with big words and complex sentences. Learn to share big ideas effectively and efficiently through small words and short sentences. Your words will touch more people and be better remembered.

The best writing comes from the re-writing. Never accept your first draft on anything important. You can make it more powerful and more readable if you take a second look.

Every cloud does have a silver lining. But I also think that most of the clouds we encounter also have a humorous component. Look for what’s funny about every negative situation and let yourself laugh. Humor is good for us and even gallows humor can help chase the gloom away.

Don’t give up on your goals. Perseverance is a virtue that will serve you well. A major goal in my life took more than thirty years to achieve. Yet it was worth all the time and energy I invested.

When it’s time to retire, don’t do it. Find a new passion and a new goal. Those who think retirement is sitting in a recliner watching TV have got it all wrong. Keep your mind and body busy. Call your new mission a job or a hobby. But stay active.

Treat everyone with respect. My study of genetic genealogy confirms that we are all cousins. Even the concept of race is artificial. If you could trace your family tree back far enough, you would discover that your family originated in Africa. A long time ago, one group of people left that continent through what is now Egypt and turned right into Asia. Another group did the same thing, but turned left into Europe. The rest of them remained behind. That’s all there is to it.

Photo credit: Gail Lynne Goodwin.

Let go of what? You need to let go of old baggage – that is, the emotional things we carry around with us for days, weeks, months or even years.

Has a co-worker said something in the last day or two that upset you? Did your parents say something five years ago that you can’t seem to let go of? Did your best friend say something last week that you can’t seem to forget? Most stuff we carry with us is negative and has to do with the pain another person caused us, but sometimes it is guilt or fear we are carrying around.

Why do we tend to hold on to all of these old feelings? Everyone goes through life with their own needs and life issues. The old baggage we carry begins to feel comfortable after a while; so comfortable in fact that many people die having never been able to let go of the hurt and pain that they felt.

There is one very good reason to let go of all of this stuff. One of the major causes of stress today is suppressed emotions that take a toll on our bodies. And one of the biggest causes of suppressed emotions is all of this old baggage. So why not let it go? It may kill you if you don’t.

Ask yourself:

• What do I need to let go of today?
• What is preventing me from letting it go?
• What harm is being caused in a current relationship, my career, or business because I’m not letting it go?

Happiness is an inside job®

Sometimes, life just gets you down. Whether you’re a mom dealing with the drudgery of wiping noses and serving snacks; an artist who doesn’t know quite where to turn; or someone trying to learn how to break free of depression, anxiety, or grief, it may be time to seek out an inspirational author for some wise advice.

I’ve compiled a list of books that are sure to inspire you, and reviewed them so you can choose the one that’s right for your individual situation.

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

Ann Voskamp

In this beautiful and inspiring book, Ann Voskamp discusses how the way we experience life can be changed simply by living fully in our current situation and being aware of our blessings. She chronicles her journey to keep a gratitude list – a list of one thousand gifts – and how it changed her perception of the world around her.

This Christian self-help book can help you see just how much you truly have to be grateful for, and how to go about counting those blessings as a mindful practice.

Evolve Your Brain: The Science of Changing Your Mind

Joe Dispenza

Joe Dispenza first explained his theories on neurobiology and neurochemistry in the now-famous video, What the Bleep Do We Know?

In this follow-up book, he discusses how our brain processes thought patterns and our neurobiology adjusts to accommodate these thought patterns. He then elaborates this theory to explain how changing our thought patterns can actually change the physical structure of our brain and the way its neural networks operate, so that we can experience freedom from mental illness and negative thought.

Glad No Matter What: Transforming Loss and Change into Gift and Opportunity

SARK

Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy (SARK) is well-known in the self-help arena for her brightly colored, handwritten, and hand-illustrated books.

In her newest book, SARK breaks tradition and opts for printed text, although the book itself stays true to her child-like, multicolored imagery. She discusses ways we can work through grief, loss, and change in our lives and move past these negative emotions to experience the gift and opportunity that they truly have to offer.

Man’s Search for Meaning

Viktor E. Frankl

Viktor E. Frankl was an Austrian psychologist, as well as a Holocaust survivor. His best-selling book tells of his time spent in concentration camps and what he learned about the strength of the human spirit.

In this inspirational book, which deserves its stellar reputation, we learn about the depth of the human soul and the strength of the human spirit.

Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood

Karen Maezen Miller

Most mothers understand that motherhood itself is not necessarily inspiring. Full of changing sheets, making breakfasts, and breaking up sibling squabbles, the life of a mother may not always be a glamorous one. Karen Maezen Miller proposes that the glamor and, in turn, joy may be in the very path of motherhood itself.

A Zen Buddhist priest, Miller has learned the art of accepting what comes, and strives to teach her readers to do the same. If you’re struggling with the drudgery of motherhood, this may be the book for you.

The Lost Soul Companion: A Book of Comfort and Constructive Advice for Black Sheep, Square Pegs, Struggling Artists, and Other Free Spirits

Susan M. Brackney

Have you ever known one of those people who just didn’t quite “fit”? Are you one of those people yourself?

Susan M. Brackney has composed a quirky, easy to follow book to help you find your calling in life, if cubicle life isn’t exactly what you’d hoped for. If you finish this comforting and inspirational book too quickly and find yourself longing for more, follow it up with The Not-So-Lost Soul Companion: More Hope, Strength, and Strategies for Artists and Artists at Heart.

Each of these books provides special inspiration to its target audience, whether you’re a teacher, a writer, a mother, or all of the above. Spend some time absorbing what these authors have to say about the human condition – you may just learn what you need to break out of the funk you’ve been experiencing.

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

During my life, I have found we learn the most through experience. When I was 25 years old, my husband of two and a half years passed away on his 28th birthday. After I experienced this unexpected tragedy in my life, I found I could either let it drag me down the path of despair or choose to learn from it and discover how it would be used for my future.

I chose the latter. Here are some lessons I learned that hopefully will enable you to not only survive a trial but also find greater purpose and hope for an abundant future:

Live in Peace When Circumstances are Uncertain

You can find peace for your soul when you practice thankfulness. Instead of looking at the bad in a situation, turn your eyes to all you have to be thankful for. This shifts your focus from all that is causing you turmoil to how God has blessed you and how God is taking care of you. The simple act of listing all you have to be thankful for will bring calmness when you need it most.

Change of Perspective Can Change Everything

When hardship strikes, we quickly feel as if we are buried under our enormous circumstances. Our God is greater than anything we suffer, and He knows how our situation is working within the bigger picture of life. We don’t know how our today is affecting our tomorrow or even others around us. Try to see your trial from the perspective of knowing God is bigger, He is taking care of you, He will never leave you, and He is working out a greater purpose for you and for others. You will begin to feel strengthened to keep persevering and keep going.

If You are Still on This Earth, Your Assignment is Not Complete

When I suffered the loss of my husband at a young age, I felt my life was over. I didn’t want to go on in life. I believe God showed me something when I was at such a low point. As long as I was still living, He still had work for me to complete. You were born with a plan and a purpose that only you can fulfill. You don’t want to cut that short by giving up on life. You will always reap a reward if you do not lose heart and do not give up.

A Trial is Often Used as a Time of Preparation

Going back to what I said in the beginning, we learn the most through experience. We learn more about ourselves and our God, we mature and we grow in wisdom. Perhaps your experience now is intended to mature you so that you can responsibly handle a bigger blessing in your future. Your circumstance may look like it will harm you, but it will grow you.

May you find the peace and hope you need for today as you look toward a bigger and brighter tomorrow.

Photo credit: Max Elman

If you find yourself focusing on the unhappy moments and things in your life, the following suggestions may start you back on the path to a happier, more satisfying life.

1. Clear out unhappiness. What obstacles to happiness are there in your life? Pay attention to what makes you feel unhappy.
2. Are you especially fearful, sad or anxious? Find someone you can talk to about your feelings, a close friend or family member that you can confide in and whom you trust.
3. Avoid things that make you unhappy.
4. See less of unhappy, difficult people whenever possible.
5. Talk less and dwell less on your problems.
6. Do not gossip or or create undue negativity in your life.
7. If a problem is dragging you down, solve it or deal with it: put it behind you as soon as possible.
8. Change your thinking by shifting negative thoughts to positive ones.
9. If your habits are bad for you, make up your mind to change them and find help to change them.
10. If you have an addictive activity, recognize it, admit to it and find a plan to recover. Remember, you have the power to recreate your life and reclaim happiness.

Just remember that the above are only a few strategies to help get you started. What works for you may not work for another person. As always, it all starts with you! You have to choose the path of happiness for your own life. No one else can choose it or change your attitude for you either.

Happiness is an inside job®.

Having control over our destiny is something we strive for. There are many, many things we do to bring security, comfort and opportunity to our lives. We all work very hard to achieve the goals that we think will bring us the happiness we deserve.

And we are determined to persevere. Innovation and creativity are something we pride ourselves on. Once we have met a goal, we set forth yet another, and another and another. This is not a bad thing… this is what it means to be in charge of our lives and our happiness, isn’t it?

But there comes a point when we tire of the quest for happiness through external sources. Of course, it is important to have purpose in life. Yet, happiness may be exclusive from our drives and desires that seem to fulfill our destiny. The possibility that happiness can be a constant in our lives is worthy of consideration.

After all, we come to find out that controlling our future is not necessarily something we are completely in charge of. When we tire of the struggle to maintain control over jobs, relationships, achievements and such, we at last surrender to a state of acceptance. We tell ourselves that what will be, will be, and this is certainly not an untruth.

We come to a state of acceptance and of peace. The desire to have goals and opportunities still exists, but these are no longer the reason we are at peace. Somehow, when we choose to let go of the struggle, life becomes a whole lot easier. And in most cases, everything works out just fine.

It is clear, then, that happiness comes from within. It appears that happiness cannot be defined by achievements, goals, relationships or anything else for that matter. Our happiness, or our H-Factor, is a state of being that is a simple choice we make when we give up the struggle.

Happiness is an inside job®.

There’s something about people in grocery stores that often inspire me. Today as I was waiting in the check out line, there was an older couple in front of me, who the cashier greeted as Ginny and Roy.

As they neared their turn in line, I noticed that Ginny had a single Valentine’s Day card, while Roy was proudly holding a single red rose. Ginny, well into her 80s handed the cashier the greeting card, then started counting out coins to pay for it. Roy waited and watched, smiling. Then, he handed the rose to the cashier and he too counted out a few dollars and coins to pay for the rose.

It appeared that they would be short on change, so I offered to help and allow them to accept it as my Valentine’s gift.  They politely refused, continued counting coins and shared that this was an important ritual for them.

Roy shared that they’ve been married “forever”. They live on a budget, but for all these years, they celebrate Valentine’s Day with a card and a rose. Ginny explained that each year they give each other the same card that they gave each other on their first Valentine’s Day together, many years ago. She wasn’t able to find her well-loved card for her husband, so she was in the store today to purchase a new one for him.

Roy went on to tell me that there’s no purpose in buying a new card each year, when the sentiment in that first card so long ago just says it all. “I loved her then, and I love her now,” he happily said, bursting with pride.

I was so touched by the love between these two. What inspired me the most was that they didn’t need a big box of chocolates, or dozens of roses, or even fancy cards… what they had went much deeper. They had the kind of love that you see with an older couple who have been together for awhile. Even on a limited budget, their trip to the grocery store to purchase the card and the rose, was a date, or for them, even an adventure.

Just looking at the two of them, I could see that through jobs, moves, raising kids, illness, and the general hustle bustle adversity of life, they realized that Valentine’s Day isn’t about how much you spend, but rather, it’s about remembering what made you fall in love in the first place.

As they walked out of the store hand in hand, I felt like I was watching two teenagers in love. I was inspired. I smiled, paused and wrote a quick email to the people I love the most, telling them how important they are in my life, and just how much they are loved.

I hope on the Valentine’s Day, whether you have a sweetheart or not, you take the time to express your love and appreciation for the special people in your life, and let them know how much you care. And just like Ginny and Roy, that simple show of affection doesn’t have to be fancy to still touch hearts in a very deep way.

Happy Valentine’s Day with love!

Movies can be a fantastic source of inspiration when you are feeling low or out of ideas. Here are seven incredibly inspiring movies you should watch the next time you feel like you’re having trouble with your momentum.

This is how you’ll feel after watching any of the movies on this list!

1. Julie and Julia

In the early years of the 21^st century, Julie Powell was feeling down and uninspired and, on a kind of crazy whim, decided to cook her way all the way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child in a single year and blog about the experience (in real time as it was happening).

Julie and Julia is based both on her experiences and the experiences Julia Child went through trying to get the book published in the first place. Meryl Streep as Julia Child is adorable.

2. Big Fish

If you didn’t know the movie was done by Tim Burton, you wouldn’t ever think this movie was made by him. The movie is based on Daniel Wallace’s book and tells the story of a father and son’s reconciliation after a long estrangement. This is done through the son’s retelling of his father’s tall tales, which are shown to the movie viewer in a series of vignettes. The movie has an incredible cast and when it’s done, you’ll want to make sure you tell your own stories to the people you love.

3. It’s a Wonderful Life

A man down on his luck, sure that the world would have been better off without him, is shown exactly whether or not that is true. If you ever need to renew your faith in the human race, this is the movie to watch.

4. Love Actually

This charming ensemble cast picture tells the story of a bunch of people whose lives are all separate but also intertwined in some really fun ways and how they navigate the weeks leading up to Christmas.

It explores a variety of different types of loving relationships from life-long friends to unrequited love to the love between a father and son, the different facets of romantic love, and everything in between. You’ve heard of movies that have “heart.” This movie personifies everything about that idea.

5. E.T.

A boy and an alien bond and… do you really not know the story of E.T.? This is one of those movies that inspires you for one reason when you’re a little kid but inspires you for entirely other reasons when you are an adult–which, really, is the genius of all of Stephen Spielberg’s early work.

6. Goonies

Goonies R Good Enough! Goonies never say die! This is the quintessential story of a bunch of good kids triumphing over some evil adults. And a giant octopus. And pirates. And treasure hunting. And adventure and booby traps and Josh Brolin, Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, and Martha Plimpton before they became the major household names they are today. It’s impossible to not love and be inspired by this movie.

7. Anything and Everything Featuring the Muppets

Okay, we’re cheating and bundling a bunch of inspiring and great movies under one category. This is because it’s just too hard to pick a favorite Muppet film to highlight here.

The most recent movie The Muppets is a beautiful and heartfelt love letter to the original series that both reintroduces the story and characters to a new generation of kids and reacquaints the adults who grew up with them to the memories that they cherish from their own childhoods. Beyond the most recent movie, you’ve got lots of other options. Have a marathon and watch them all!

It’s true: If you’re having a rough time, put any one of these movies. You’ll start to feel better within about ten minutes of starting any of them!