“There are two ways of spreading light – to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” — Edith Wharton

Do you write or blog? Do you get tired of receiving little feedback, no feedback, or negative feedback? Do you need something to pull you back up?

You’re in need of inspiration. Aren’t we all sometimes?

Whenever I offer a journaling or writing workshop, I always explain that everyone in the room is a writer and everyone has a unique voice and stories worth telling.

Recently, I gave a journaling workshop at the Sherwood Forest Free Will Baptist Church in El Sobrante, California. As usual, I told our group that part of our gift to each other would be listening to those who read and honoring their writing with our listening and supportive comments.

I quoted Ralph Nichols, who says, “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”

Listening may feel passive, but it’s one of the most important gifts we can give to writers, speakers, teachers, lecturers, parents, children, pastors, authors, and anyone else with a message to share. Listening encourages expression. Listening works.

Not convinced?

Listen to what these well-known experts have said.

It takes two to speak the truth — one to speak and another to hear.

– Henry David Thoreau, American author, poet, philosopher, naturalist, abolitionist, and transcendentalist.

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

–Winston Churchill, British conservative politician and statesman

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force…When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. Ideas actually begin to grow within us and come to life…When we listen to people there is an alternating current, and this recharges us so that we never get tired of each other…and it is this little creative fountain inside us that begins to spring and cast up new thoughts and unexpected laughter and wisdom. …Well, it is when people really listen to us, with quiet fascinated attention, that the little fountain begins to work again, to accelerate in the most surprising way.

–Barbara Ueland, author of If You Want to Write

The first duty of love is to listen.

–Paul Tillich, German-American theologian and Christian existentialist philosopher

Listening matters. It validates us.

How do you show you’re actively listening?

1. Look at the person, and stop doing other things.
2. Listen to the feelings behind the content.
3. Be sincerely interested in what the other person is talking about.
4. Check to make sure you understand by restating ideas or asking for clarification.

Who have you listened to today?

• The grocery clerk
• The bank teller
• Your toddler
• Your teenager
• Your spouse
• Your friendly neighbor
• Your nosy neighbor
• Your lonely neighbor
• The stranger in the waiting room
• The woman mumbles, “Spare change?”

Take the time to listen actively before responding. Whoever receives that gift will appreciate it. The astute ones will reciprocate.

Every day we are surrounded by illusion. The illusion of television, or images we interpret and even those magic tricks that entertain and enthrall at our children’s parties.

We love illusion, but illusion is one of those elements that make it difficult for us to feel happy if we don’t recognize that happiness is an inside job.

Have you ever noticed that when you are single, the couples around you laughing and enjoying each other magnify your singleness?  What happens when you see a couple bitterly fighting or dragging their grocery bags as they glare at each other?  Does that make your singleness an asset?

Is happiness an illusion? Is it based on a set of external conditions and circumstances?

The answer in this case is yes – that happiness is an illusion.  It’s not real. It’s temporary and based on a bunch of conditions that may or may not be true.

Happiness that is cultivated from the inside is lasting and true.  It doesn’t depend on looks, money, other people, a fancy car or a large house.  It comes from within and knowing that external happiness is a condition – an illusion, if you will, can make the difference between a happy life and a life searching for meaning.

Do other people’s needs come first? Do your resentments sometimes expand like a swollen spring river? It’s a familiar predicament. The first thing you should know is that you are not alone.

When I was my mother’s caregiver, I often put my personal needs on hold. I drowned my resentments in comfort foods. Entenmann’s chocolate chip cookies were a favorite. I’d pull one after another out of the box and stuff them in my mouth mindlessly as I drove to the pharmacy or the post office or even the grocery store.

This was not a healthy way to problem solve. As my waistbands got tighter, I knew I needed a better way to replenish my reserves.

I got back in touch with my physical needs, as well as my mental, emotional, and spiritual ones, through my journal. In there, I could vent, delve into issues, and untangle messes. My journal allowed me to finish a thought without interruption. It encouraged me to analyze, celebrate, and find the hope that had become elusive.

After I processed my own issues, I had the energy and good will to reach out again.

Want to give it a try? Not sure how to start? Try one of these sentence starts:

• The truth is…
• I am…
• Today I know….

Finish the sentence and keep writing.

Any response works, as long as it came from the heart.

Here are three responses to “The truth is…”:

The truth is not always easy for me to state out loud. If I could say anything without worrying about hurting you, I’d tell you that I love you but I need to shift gears. I feel so stuck. I know you are more stuck. My heart aches for you, but it aches for me, too. I feel my fifties breathing down my back. I want to help you, but sometimes I resent giving up my life to do it.

The truth is… I have a secret life online in a world you refuse to access. I help students in the Academic Assistance Center and they help me. They remind me there is life beyond caregiving.

The truth is that I am tired. Your snail’s pace wears me out. I don’t want to think about it. I want to sip this cup of coffee in the mug you bought when we went to British Columbia, back when I was twelve. I want to listen to the rain drumming on roof and spilling over the edge of the gutter. I want to slide away, like the rain into the gutter, like Alice down the rabbit hole.

How would you respond? Try it right now.

1. Pick one of the sentence starts above.
2. Write for approximately 12-15 minutes.
3. Read it over. Editing is optional.
4. Spell check.
5. Then send me your response (15-1500 words) at Lgood67334comcastnet  (Lgood67334comcastnet?subject=Journaling-Inspire Me Today)   with the subject “Journaling-Inspire Me Today”.
6. I’ll write back to tell you what I love, and I might post it on writeradvice.com/sharing.html.

Journaling releases mental toxins and deepens awareness. It helps the strong, sane, safe, healthy, hopeful parts of you emerge. Do not underestimate its power. Do not underestimate your own power as a writer. You never know how your words may affect someone else.

By Father Miles O’Brien Riley.

People are always teasing me about the weather: “Hey, Father, can’t you do something about the weather?” (giggle) I always respond: “Oh, I’m so sorry – I’m only in sales.”

We can’t change the weather—even with prayer—only the way we look at it: the glasses we see through. It’s a good reminder for me that we are not in control of most of the things in our lives: the weather or other people (even those closest to us like our spouses, kids, parents, friends, co-workers).

We aren’t even in control of a lot in ourselves: our moods, our feelings…I love it when folks confess “Bless me Father, I lost my temper 10 times..” You don’t have absolute control over your temper, anymore than you can control or change your hunger, thirst, tiredness. The one thing we can control and change is our attitude: how we see, filter, hold the reality around us.

Here’s a lovely example of a grandmother with a positive, optimistic attitude—even when caught in a traffic jam that would provoke road rage for many… Let me share her letter to the family:

The other day I went to the local religious bookstore where I saw a “HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS” bumper sticker. I bought one and put it on the back bumper of my car. And am I glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed.

I was stopped at the light of a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord…and didn’t notice the light had changed. The guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must really love the Lord, because pretty soon he leaned out his window and yelled “Jesus Christ!” Why, it was like a football game with him shouting “Go, Jesus Christ, go!”

Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window, waved , and smiled at all those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there, because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I had recently asked my two grandsons what that meant. They squirmed, looked at each other, giggled, and told me it was the Hawaiian good luck sign. So I leaned out my window and gave him the good luck sign back.

A couple of people were so caught up in the joy of the moment, they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray together, but just then I noticed the light had changed. I stepped on the gas and it was a good thing I did because I was the only car to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there, leaned out the window, gave them a big smile, and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

Love ya all,  Grandma

 

Several years ago, the scientific community conducted a test called the Centenarian Study, because they took 100 folks over 100 years of age to find out why they lived so long, and so well: many were 103-107 and still working. They thought the answer would be genetics, diet and exercise. The medical people wanted the answer to be something they could measure under a microscope-—like genes, diet and exercise. Ironically, the top four factors that contributed to longevity were all spiritual: optimism, hobbies/passions, a sense of purpose and handling loss.

The #1 factor in living a long and happy life is optimism, positive thinking, attitude. Here is an example of a little boy with a positive attitude like Grandma’s, an optimistic approach to life:

Little Chad was a shy, quiet young man. One day he came home and told his mother that he’d like to make a valentine for everyone in his class. Her heart sank. She thought, “I wish he wouldn’t do that!” because she had watched the children when they walked home from school. Her Chad was always behind them. They laughed and hung on to each other and talked to each other. But Chad was never included. Nevertheless, she decided she would go along with her son. She purchased the paper and glue and crayons. For three weeks, night after night, Chad painstakingly made 35 valentines.

Valentine’s Day dawned, and Chad was beside himself with excitement. He carefully stacked them up, put them in a bag, and bolted out the door. His mother decided to bake him his favorite cookies and serve them nice and warm with a cool glass of milk when he came home from school. She just knew he would be disappointed and maybe that would ease the pain a little. It hurt her to think that we wouldn’t get many valentines—maybe none at all.

That afternoon she had the cookies and milk on the table. When she heard the children outside, she looked out the window. Sure enough, there they came, laughing and having the best time. And, as always, there was Chad in the rear. He walked a little faster than usual. She fully expected him to burst into tears as soon as he got inside. His arms were empty, she noticed, and when the door opened she choked back the tears.

“Mommy has some cookies and milk for you,” she said. But he hardly heard her words.  He just marched right on by, his face aglow, and all he could say was: “Not a one. Not a one.”

Her heart sank. And then he added, “I didn’t forget a one, not a single one!”

That’s attitude!

We all have our daily routines that provide structure and comfort to our everyday life. It is soothing to know what to expect each day. We are, after all, inherently creatures of habit. Whether it’s taking a cycling class at the gym that gets your workday started, or lazy Sunday mornings spent with a cup of coffee solving the Sunday crossword puzzle, we can all find enjoyment in our rituals.

But have you ever noticed the thrill you experience when you try something new or take an unexpected detour from your regular routine? It could be as simple as taking a cardio dance class instead of your regular cycling class or going to the Sunday morning farmer’s market and picking fresh produce for dinner. Taking that step outside of your routine opens that curious child within us and can bring out our playful side. After all, repeating the same experiences over and over again can lose its excitement, not to mention limit our opportunities for growth.

So the next time you are at work, instead of eating lunch at your desk, take your lunch outdoors and people watch while enjoying the fresh air. You never know, you might even make a new friend or meet a potential love interest. The next time you are at your favorite restaurant, order something you have never tried before. Better still? Why not order dessert for dinner. In these moments when you take a trip off the beaten path, acknowledge how it feels, physically, mentally, and spiritually, to try something new. When we shake up our routines, we can discover new ways to infuse our lives with delight and happiness because we are more present in each moment instead of living on autopilot.

Happiness Strategy: Think about the most routine part of your day. Do you always eat the same thing for dinner? Do you always grab that coffee from Starbucks on your way to work? When you run, is it always along an identical route? Pinpoint one activity in your daily life from which you never vary. Now, think about a new activity or variation you could implement to break your established routine. Make that change today.

Take this exercise a step further by making a little change to your routine every few days. Take notice of how your mind feels when you try something different. Through these little changes, you should begin to notice an increase in your energy and enthusiasm for daily life.

Happiness is an inside job®.

Photo Credit: Ishikawa Ken

When we think of detoxification, the first thing that comes to mind for most of us is a physical detoxification. In other words, cleaning up our diet. But there is a mental and emotional component that is equally as important.

Cleansing is not only your body’s natural way to get rid of waste or toxins, and it occurs daily in some form or another. Tears, urine, mucus, sweat – all are examples of body cleansing that we regard as very normal.

Cleansing allows our bodies to restore balance when the imbalance becomes too great and threatens our lives.

The body is designed to rid itself naturally of toxins and waste, but our exposure to environmental toxins, stress, and prescription drugs drives these toxins deeper into our systems, and they further weaken vital organs.

When we refuse to feel an emotion or when we hang on to an emotion, we create the perfect environment for disease.

Eventually, the weakened organs have no energy to eliminate toxins and fight disease; they give up the fight and the body succumbs.

Spring time in Chinese Medicine is the proper time to cleanse the body. All too often we forget about the most important aspect of a cleanse: Cleaning up our emotional and mental habits!

One of the most common things I hear lecturing is that people feel they jump from cleanse kit to cleanse kit, diet to diet, but their symptoms didn’t get resolved. That is because most of the cleanse kits available on the market today don’t cleanse on a deep cellular level and help you rewire the brain to create a new, healthy, vibrant self-definition.

Cleansing on the physical and mental level go hand and hand. This can be scary. Many of us have difficulty letting go physically and emotionally, especially if we are not working with the mind-body together.

Through techniques such as visualization, affirmations and even prayer, we can strengthen our immune systems and enhance the cleansing/healing process. If we try to heal our bodies but remain angry, stressed or guilty in our minds, the healing will take longer and be more difficult. But if we can cleanse our minds of negative, impure thoughts and emotions, replacing them with joy, love and trust, the physical cleansing and healing will be easier and more fulfilling.

As your physical body cleanses you may feel inexplicably weepy, on edge or angry. Without warning, you may feel like lashing out at someone verbally or even physically. Or you might start crying about something seemingly small. This is all part of the elimination of stored up emotional toxins connected to the physical toxins in your body—just know that these feelings are normal and it’s beneficial to release them in a safe environment.

If you want support in facing and moving through these difficult emotions, you can join me on a guided 21 Day Whole Life Detox.

Be easy on yourself through the cleansing process. Bring the healing messages of Inspire Me Today into your daily routine. Always make the space for you to experience and learn from each day during a cleanse, to relax and regenerate. Don’t ever rush. Don’t ever judge your results. Be open to the process and let your body and mind be open to creating a new you.

How can journaling help you through the stresses of your life?

If you are like many people, you offer help to your spouse, boss, kids, and maybe your parents and siblings. You spend time carpooling kids to school and dental appointments, making sandwiches, answering questions, paying bills, cooking dinner, entertaining, and if you are caring for parents as well as your immediate family your work load increases exponentially. At work, you do what the boss asks. As you help others, stress can build.

Why write about it? Journaling allows you to vent, process, explore, discover, and rejoice. It offers a safe place to explore, express yourself, dig deeper, analyze, and discover truths. It gives you the “me time” that keeps you whole. It creates a record of the story that only you can tell.

Over the past ten years my journals have been:

• A record
• A place to spew
• A place to delve and see where the pen takes me
• A place to hone my thoughts
• A place to sharpen my craft, and figure out what I really mean to say
• A place to make discoveries
• A place to find story ideas
• A place to find resolution or the next step on my journey
• A place to make lists and cross off what I accomplish
• A place to look back on what was once important and gain perspective
• A place to record my reflections

I write my journals in longhand. I like the smooth flow of a pen on paper. I like the progress of moving from left to right, line after line, traveling down one page and on to the next. The rhythm of longhand soothes me.

You may prefer to keep a file of journals on your computer. Do what works for you.

In addition to the fact that university studies have shown that writing saves lives, here are a few other reasons to journal:

• I write to share
• I write to pull out secrets locked in place in my brain
• I write to see what happens if I release my private truths
• I write to move to a new level of comprehension or analysis
• I write to tweak life and imagine happy endings
• I write to tweak life and imagine worst-case scenarios
• I write gratitude lists to feel better

Though it does not always seem like it, journals have the power to pull you off the hamster wheel of obsession and into action. They are a safe place to heal. Healing does not wipe out old problems or past actions. It washes over them, helping you cope, change your attitude, and move forward. Heal your spirit by writing in a journal.

What are your reasons for journaling? What do you journal about? Please comment below. I’d love to hear.

Photo Credit: Curt Fleenor

Six weeks. Forty-two days.

If you live in a climate where you only have 6 weeks of summer, it flies by in an instant. But, if you have to go on a restrictive diet for 6 weeks, suddenly that same period of time drags on as if it were eternity. Funny thing is, forty-two days is still forty-two days. The only thing that makes it seem long or short, is our perspective.

Just a couple of weeks ago I was coaching a client through a difficult situation where she needed to relocate for her job for 6 weeks. It’s difficult to leave family and responsibilities, even if the disruption will create a positive outcome for the rest of her life. I remember telling her that Memorial Day will be here before she knows it, and the time will fly by! Besides, we can do anything for 6 weeks, right?

The next day I went skiing, tore my MCL and fractured a bone in my right knee. I had to laugh when the orthopedic doc told me I needed to be on crutches for 6 weeks. SIX weeks?! I can’t do that! I’m too busy! I have places to go, people to see, things to do… I can’t disrupt my life! Six weeks is F-O-R-E-V-E-R!

I didn’t miss the irony in my good-intentioned words from the previous day, as they came back to haunt me. We can do anything for six weeks. The period of time was exactly the same, yet suddenly six weeks felt so much longer when it was ME facing a task for six weeks.

But regardless of how we look at it, it’s still 42 days. The only thing that changed was my perspective.

I was reminded that I might not get to chose the situation or the circumstances, but I DO get to chose the perspective at how I look at life.

The next time I whine about something taking sooo long, I’ll remember that time is what it is, and the only thing that makes it different, is the value I put on it.

Photo Credit: Max Elman

Since God, like Love, is a mystery, let me begin with a short story:

Once upon a time, many years ago, a little fish was born. His mother told him about the magnificent ocean he would one day discover. Naturally, the little fish longed to find the ocean. So, when he was big enough and strong enough, he set out on his life’s journey, his pilgrimage to find the ocean. The little fish swam and he swam, and looked everywhere – but he couldn’t find the ocean anywhere…

Then one day the little fish ran into a great big fish and thought to himself: “He’s a big fish, he’s lived a long time, he’ll know how to find the ocean…”

“Good Morning, Big Fish!”

“Good morning, Little Fish”

“Excuse me, Big Fish, could you please direct me to the ocean?”

“Little Fish, this IS the ocean—you’re in it!”

“O, no, Big Fish, this is only water…..”

So the big fish swam away sadly, saying to himself: “How do you tell a little fish about the mystery of the ocean?”

How do we explain the mystery of God or of Love?

This is it – you’re in it!

" src="http://www.inspiremetoday.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/43-come-closer-by-razorfrog-450x300.png" alt="" width="450" height="300" />

The God who is Love is everywhere. Some get it, see it, experience it—but some don’t. Let me suggest a few God moments of the millions all around us by talking about five transcendent, supernatural mystical moments you may have experienced:

1. BIRTHING

Since I am an old Catholic priest (and we can’t even get permission to go steady!) I have experienced the miracle of birth only as a hospital chaplain and an uncle to my six younger brothers and sisters and their families (who call me “Uncle MiMi” because they cannot handle the “l” and the “s” in “miles.”) But all you parents and godparents tell me that the experience of birth is absolutely transcendent, supernatural, beyond words to capture and describe.

One mother put it this way: “I was blessed with great parents, a wonderful family, amazing friends, and an incredible husband but I did not know unconditional love until the birth of my first child. I held that baby in my arms and was overcome by an avalanche of love! And all I could think was: I hope God loves us as much as I love this child!”

2. DYING

Now I know that most Americans resist talking about death: half the people who die each year don’t even have wills! (Many superstitious think if they have a will, God will say: “No, take her—the one with the will!”) Doubleday published my book Set Your House In Order in 1980 to help folks discuss their wishes and plan their funerals. After two printings, they returned the book saying: “America is not ready yet to talk about death!”

Our culture is not in denial—we are in avoidance! We want someone else—doctor, lawyer, clergy, mortician, funeral director, cemetery director—to handle the messy business of dying. Still, when we embrace the mystery of death, it can be a God moment. I will never forget the young woman who told me about her grandmother who was living with them.

“Everyone said that grandma was going to be all right but I feared that she might be dying and I wanted to say goodbye. So, one night, after everyone had gone to bed, I tiptoed into Grandma’s room and said: ‘I’m just afraid you might be dying and I wanted to tell you how much I love you!’ Grandma reached out and hugged me and drew me to her and replied: ‘Finally, someone has told the truth—and now I can tell the truth!’ She held me in her arms all night and shared her whole life with me… The sun came up and she was still telling me her hopes and dreams and precious memories!”

When dying is openly embraced, it can be a God moment.

3. LOVING

St. John is clear: “Where there is love, there is God; and where there is God, there is Love.” God IS Love. So, if you are blessed to know and feel real love, you have known and felt God. Of course, this kind of absolute, selfless love is rare, but it is possible. I have felt it in my family and have seen it in a very few marriages and occasionally in amazing labor of love and lives of service to the poor and needy and emarginated and, of course, in the holy heroism of parenthood!

4. HEALING

I suppose it is no surprise that millions of Americans find their religion, their spirituality, and their mystical God moments in the 12 Step programs. Overeaters Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, Shopaholics Anonymous, those addicted to pornography or self-mutilation or pedophilia….we are such an addictive society!

The various 12-Step programs are a dramatic blessing. You attend a meeting, identify yourself by your name and compulsion and are accepted. Unconditionally! No questions asked! And everyone present knows exactly what you are going through—and that, maybe, you have hit bottom. And they accept and affirm your brokenness, your weakness, and your humanness. And that no-strings-attached and no cover-up-excuses acceptance often works miracles—along with the support of your group and your partner and your god as you understand god to be. There are other forms of healing, of course, but the 12-step groups are among the very best.

5. ONENESS

Have you ever experienced that sense of connectedness with nature or other people, asunset or a beautiful piece of music? The first time it happened to me really powerfully I was in Washington, D.C. studying the intimate connection between sex and spirituality. One night I had a dream that I was 8 months pregnant—not a woman, just myself but so pregnant that I was banging into doors and furniture.

The next morning I called my spiritual director in Palo Alto to describe the dream. She responded: “Not a surprise! We are all called to be pregnant—with God!” The next morning, as I walked around the university campus, I suddenly experienced a connection of my hand with the branch of a tree. As soon as I felt one with the branch, I also experienced oneness with the path and the grass and the squirrel that darted across and the butterfly that fluttered past… And that sense of oneness with all that is alive continued for almost an hour. For me a mystical experience and truly a wonderful and rare God moment!

So, please do not be like the Little Fish who missed the magic… Open wide your eyes, your mind, your heart and your spirit… This is it! You’re in it!

Photo Credit: Max Elman

They’re not kidding when they say laughter is contagious. Just think back to the last time you really laughed. No, a quiet chuckle under your breath doesn’t qualify; I’m talking about real deep-in-the-gut laughter that makes you forget about all the lousy things going on in your life. The kind of laughter that for an instant makes everything seem simple and carefree. When was the last time you experienced a natural high like that?

Laughter is the ultimate escape from the high-drama, success-driven world in which we live. Once you experience the overwhelming positive effects of true, spontaneous laughter, you will begin to seek it out daily. It only takes once or twice to get hooked. You will crave laughter. You will become addicted to it. Pretty soon, you will rearrange your day to be around people who enable you to experience it. Laughter will become the drug that gets you through your day – and that’s a good thing!

Genuine, unscripted laughter is a healthy kind of release that we as humans crave to help us balance out the negative aspects of our lives. Laughter is the positive lens that lets us see the humor and happiness in our disappointments. Allowing ourselves to laugh at our situations – and ourselves – helps us keep stress at bay. It keeps us in the moment. And by giving us the tools we need to see the world as joyous, happy and, often, downright humorous, laughter becomes a gateway drug to happiness.

So go ahead, let yourself laugh. Do this as often as possible. Laughing regularly will not only relieve stress; it will also keep you in the moment, a state in which worries about the past or future can’t weigh you down. Laughing is therapeutic, energizing and absolutely crucial to being a positive person. It’s the most effective happiness drug out there.

Happiness Strategy: If you’re in front of the computer, stop what you’re doing and go to this link on YouTube. It should take you to Skype’s Laughter Chain. Clear your mind of your current situation and worries as you watch the video. If you laugh while watching, pay attention to how your body and energy levels change. If you don’t start laughing, instead feel how watching other people laugh boosts your mood and your energy level.

The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed or downtrodden, try to find a humorous clip or article that will make you laugh. The release you feel should instantly lighten your mood and help you reframe your current situation in a more optimistic context.

Happiness is an inside job®.

When it comes to matters of life and death, the two major influences in my life were my Mom and the Pope. Not just any pope, but Pope John the 23rd, 1959-1963. I was a young priest working and studying in the Eternal City and living in the Vatican when this new pope arrived in Roma and ordered the Catholic Church worldwide to open its stained glass windows and let in some fresh air. Pope John called it an“aggiornamento” or “up-dating” and he himself was a breath of fresh air.

First he declined the processional throne: he said he was afraid they would drop him because he was so fat! Then he held a press conference where reporters asked how many people work in the Vatican; he answered: “About half!” I stood under his window in St. Peter’s Square praying the rosary the night he died. They asked him if he was ready to die and he answered: “My bags are packed – I’m ready to go home.”

I hope we are all ready and packed for that final journey. 

My Mom put it differently. My parents and six younger brothers and sisters and I all believe in donating our bodies or at least our organs to science and then being cremated as the most spiritual way to pass on to the next world. Mom used to say: “If anything still works, give it away!” Then she would say: “I want you to take all the money you would have spent on an expensive funeral – and I certainly hope you are planning a big one – and, instead, throw a celebration of life and love – and I will be there!” And we did, and she was!

Some irreverent jokester has created this “Living Will.”

I,_______________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to ask for at least one of the following: ________a Martini ________a Margarita ________a Scotch and Soda ________ a Bloody Mary ________a Gin and Tonic ________a Tee Time ________a Steak ________Lobster or Crab Legs ________the Remote Control ________a Bowl of Ice Cream ________the Sports Page ________Sex ________or Chocolate, it should be presumed that I won’t ever get any better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come dotheir thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we’ve had.

Signature:_________________________ Date:____________
Witness:__________________________ Date:____________

NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are a lot happier, and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don’t even need embalming when their time comes…

Mom put it differently. After five cancer surgeries at Stanford Hospital, she slipped this note or prayer to my sister just before she died:

 The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital busily occupied with the living and the dying. At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased functioning and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped.

When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don’t call this my deathbed. Let it be called the Bed of Life and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.

Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby’s face or love in the eyes of a woman. Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain. Give my blood to the teenager who is pulled from the wreckage of his car sothat he might live to see his grandchildren play. Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week. Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.

Explore every corner of my brain. Take my cells if necessary and let them grow so that, someday, a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window.

Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow. If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses and all prejudice against my fellow human beings. Give my sins to the devil. Give my soul to God.

And if, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.

Photo Credit: Max Elman

Generally in full moon cycles our egoselves like to chatter a lot more at night and go over all the things you have not done or the things you have to do!!

If you feel like your sleep patterns are off and your ego is quite active at bed time, journaling is the best relief for that. Have a piece of paper beside your bed and write down any thoughts that may come to you. You might think that the thoughts are silly (that’s ego again), but just write down whatever comes out and then crumble it up and recycle it.

I get asked all the time: How do you stay centered in ego and higherself so effortlessly? I am going to let you all in on one of my secrets.

Every night before I go to bed, I look in the mirror and say to myself 3 times “I have compassion for you” and then I breathe.

I do this to let go of any ego thoughts that might make me feel like I wasn’t good enough or I didn’t do enough during that day.

It is much easier to have compassion for others.  When it comes to ourselves we tend to be much harder on what we expect from ourselves and we can make ourselves feel bad about not being or doing the things we set out to do, be it for ourselves or others. So I say that affirmation to be kind to myself and balance my ego.

Do onto yourself as you do onto others. This saying is typically the other way around; however, it is a good tool to see who you really are in this world and either way you will make a change for the better.

Photo Credit: Max Elman

Gratitude is the answer, no matter the question. When life throws you a curve ball, be grateful that you have the hands to catch it- for there is always blessing in every circumstance, even if we can’t see it in the moment.

On this past Easter Sunday I was reminded of this, as I had a skiing accident. Not being one to complain or be a baby, I got back up and skied down the rest of the hill after skiing way too fast and wiping out into a snow bank. Two days later when I was convinced to go to an orthopedic doc, we found that I’d torn my MCL and fractured a bone in my right knee.

My first reaction was that there was NO way I was going to be on crutches for 6 weeks! No way! I couldn’t! I have places to go, people to see and business to be done. I’m too busy! I could almost hear the Universe laughing.

Then, I remembered that life never gives us a problem without also sending a blessing. As I started to look for the blessing, I found not only one, but several.

This mishap gave me the opportunity to allow others to give to me. I’ve always been better at giving than receiving. From going to get takeout from our favorite restaurant, going to the grocery store, making sure my computer power cord was by my favorite chair, to fetching ice on the hour… it was really touching to watch the joy that my husband felt as he showed his love for me in a whole new way.

Additionally, I reconnected with local friends who wanted to stop by, and I had the time to visit with them.  Sometimes it takes us really going faaaast (into a snow bank) for us to remember to slow down.

During this experience I also met a new friend, found out about a big problem of his, and introduced him to another friend who solved his problem. If I hadn’t crashed, he’d still be dealing with this for a long time. Could I have met him in another way? Perhaps, but sometimes I think the Universe is smarter than I am.

I’m sure this will be inconvenient for a few weeks, but it won’t stop me from doing what I love to do. It just makes me appreciate the joy of being able to run up steps, the beauty of taking walks in the woods and little things that I take for granted most days. It will make me appreciate my strong healthy body even more.

It also makes me appreciate that it’s only a hurt knee, when it could have been so much worse. So rather than complaining about a situation that I created, whether intentional or not, I’m choosing to find the blessing in the moment.

What “crashes” have you had in your life, and what blessing came from it for you? (I’d love if you’d share your story with us below.)

No matter who we are or what we do, there will be times in life when we crash, literally or figuratively. What’s most important is that we get back up, and find the blessing in the situation…. for it’s always there. 

Here are five tips for the new bride:

1. It’s important that a man has a job and helps you around the house.
2. It’s important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It’s important to find a man you can trust who doesn’t lie to you.
4. It’s important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It’s important that these four men don’t know each other.

The major enemies of love are fear, judgment and expectation. The single most important ingredient in a lasting love is maturity. In 50 years as a priest I have helped over 2000 couples prepare and celebrate their weddings. I love weddings – and hate the wedding industry!

The major enemies of a great wedding are:

The so-called wedding planner. You, dear bride, are the wedding planner and coordinator. You can hire an assistant with a laptop and helpful connections to other vendors. But you are in charge. The hired hands learned their craft working hotel conventions and car shows andseldom has any training or experience in drama—much less sacred drama. They will turn your celebration into the Ken and Barbie* fashion show. If you want a wedding that is personal and spiritual, beware and be careful!

The musicians. Live music usually works but is expensive—and sometimes they are simply using your wedding to get their next gig. DJs are flexible and inexpensive but can be embarrassingly immature. They do silly things they have seen other DJs do like “announcing” everyone in your wedding party. Explain kindly that this is a wedding, an adult celebration—not a Junior High sock hop! And you and the groom are not stars on stage but the hosts of a unique celebration of love. You are present—not presented—you have invited these special people to thank them for loving you so you would be able to love each other.

The photographer, who holds the most powerful weapon at your wedding—and can point that camera at anyone and get them to do whatever the photographer wants—and what they want is to take more and sell more pictures. A good wedding lasts about 45 minutes. That’s the American attention span: over 45 you’ve lost them; under 25 and they wonder: “I shaved my legs for this?” But I have seen photographers keep the families and wedding party for over an hour (after a 45 minute wedding) and, saddest of all, take the bride and groom away from the celebration they are hosting to take cutesy photos at some pretty site, while all their guests stand around the bar trying to figure out what happened to the couple they came to see and honor – secretly hoping some of your young love will rub off on their hearts.

One of my brides alerted me to the new Barbie doll coming soon; in keeping with the times, she’s called “Divorced Barbie”…and apparently comes with all Ken’s stuff!

Most of today’s brides are older and wiser. They want their wedding to be more than a beautiful, expensive event. They want their celebration to be an experience – more personal, touching and intimate, that wiggles into your heart and lasts a long time; in other words, warm, fun, comfortable, inclusive and involving. One couple summed up the difference this way: “Events are sex; experiences are making love!”

Please, dear bride, if I can contribute to your marriage celebration, I have a 65 page four color book called It’s Your Wedding – Not Theirs and a 65 minute audio CD by the same name you can play in the car, both available online.

Photo Credit: Max Elman

We are the only person who can give ourselves validation. Sometimes it’s easy to get trapped into thinking that we need the approval of others to do things. We have been conditioned to feel like we can’t take matters into our own hands because we require the approval of people who we feel are more knowledgeable than us.

This really dawned on me when my kids were sick and I was looking for guidance. When I didn’t receive the answers that I was looking for I felt helpless and alone. It wasn’t until I tapped into my true self, the one that instinctively knew what to do, that I got the results I needed. The reality that I could use and trust my own instincts was a new concept and one of my favourite lessons so far.

We are in a constant state of learning. Everything around us is consistently changing and evolving. In order to go with the ebb and flow of that evolution we must be willing to change our method of thinking all of the time. Be willing to learn new things and to respect that we are always going to be learning.

Learning involves new processes and new things. These new processes will carry you to new heights, the ones that you dreamed of and gave yourself enough credit to know you can do. When you work with the flow and understand how capable you are of anything, wonderful things will happen.

Going the distance involves trusting in who we are, and always knowing that we have everything we need to accomplish anything right there inside.  Thinking we need validation from others especially based on designations is counter-productive. We are all equal, all the same. All capable of free thinking. That choice to respect ourselves enough to go the distance is what brings us to the finish line. It is also important to listen to the knowledge of others’ because not only are they equal but each and every one of us has something very valuable to contribute.

Next time you have a dream don’t let the secondary noise of others’ opinions drown out who you really are. Grab onto to your inner courage and keep going though the peaks and valleys. Always be willing to learn, to change and most of all be open to loving yourself enough to know you can go the distance. You are the only one who can carry that ball into the end zone.

Photo Credit: Max Elman

Gratitude is one of those sneaky little gifts that once opened keeps on giving and giving. Did you know that one of the best ways to reduce your stress level is to think about things for which you are grateful?

How about when you are sad, angry or upset? Try listing in your head or on paper just ten things for which you are grateful.  I can help you start your list.

You are alive and able to enjoy the wonderful things this world has to offer.  You are reading this blog so you can read, you do have a computer, and you are able to get onto the Internet.  That alone just made you more skilled than half the global population! You have your sight in which to read this post.  These may seem not very important to you, but when you don’t have them you can see how truly grateful you can become for the simplest things to the very complex.

Do you know that people who live in a state of gratitude sleep better?  They live healthier lives? They are more productive and yes, they are happier! It’s a little secret that keeps on giving throughout your day, with respect to others and allows us to reach our full potential by bringing us each into our own best possible space.

Here are just a few ways to show gratitude in life:

1. List the things in your life you are grateful for and those things you take for granted, such as your health, home, family, friends, colleagues, car, and so on. Add all the things that you could not survive without, such as sunlight, air, water and food. See how many things you can come up with. Keep this list with you, and refer to it anytime you get upset or sad or emotional. See how long you remain that way!

2. Do something for someone for no reason other than simply wanting to do it. Have no attachment to the outcome. Pay for someone’s coffee at work, or compliment someone you don’t know very well.

3. Send a card of appreciation to someone whom you have not been in touch with for a while. You could take this even further by sending cards to five people letting them know how much they mean in your life.

4. Send a thank you note to someone who has done something for you, no matter how small it may seem to be.

5. Take time to feel awe and wonder at the world. Take the time to “stop and smell the roses.” Take in the sunset in the morning when you wake up or take a minute to appreciate being alive…it doesn’t have to take very long.

I have had many break ups in my life. My most memorable break up was when I was sixteen and I was dating a 21 year old. We were very aligned and we both knew it. He broke up with me because he somehow had a vision that I had to leave the small town I grew up in and make a difference. I was devastated and lost and yet I picked myself up and went off to Florida before college to begin my journey.

My life has been an amazing journey and one that would have turned out very differently had I stayed in that small town.

Break ups in love and business are always a blessing. They are always for the greater good and sometimes we just need to be reminded.

The beginning of the year is the time when, statistically, there are the greatest numbers of break ups. This time of year is also when there are the greatest numbers of deaths because people have made it through the holidays and seem to let go more easily.

I’ve had more than my share of deaths occur in the early stages of the year. That is when I lost my husband to a sudden accident. His death was what took me on this journey of wanting to have control over my own health and my own wellness.

That has been an even more amazing journey and one that may not have happened had he lived. He lives on through all the amazing stories of clients whose lives are better off.

So, tell me… how have you woken up from your break up?

Your break up has been a solution that may not have come about. If you’re stuck in the pain of the break up, look for the good in the break up. I promise you, it’s there!

It helps to ask yourself some questions every once in a while to make sure you are achieving the happiness you want in your life. The following questions are by no means an all-inclusive list but something to think about:

• Have I looked for the happy moments in my daily life?
• How do I find those moments?
• How do I show others that I am happy?
• Am I surrounding myself with people who have an overall positive attitude?
• Am I trying to focus as much as I can on the positive things in my life instead of the negative?
• Do I do a few things in my day just for myself? Have I stopped and taken in the little things in my day?
• Am I taking time every day to write down the things that make me happy or thankful?
• Do I do things for others so that they can experience happiness?
• Is my attitude mostly positive or negative?
• Do I let others negative feelings affect me?
• Am I choosing to be happy?
• Have I found hobbies or other activities that make me happy?
• Am I doing those things when I am sad or upset? Does my job make me happy?
• If I don’t have a job, am I at least doing something that makes me happy?

These questions will make you think and get you on the path to thinking about your life and your overall happiness.

If you’re sitting at your desk or on the sofa reading this, know that having the best year ever is entirely possible.

The possibility of an entire year can last far beyond the first two weeks after New Year’s but you will have to do a few things to make that happen. Most of them are as simple as brushing your teeth and done as regularly as brushing your teeth.

Receive yourself the gift of knowledge that your body is giving you the signals about an issue or situation.

Give what you want most – if you want money give money (I hear all the time that I don’t have the money for… and yet somehow money shows up for a vacation or new pair of shoes. Be honest with yourself and rather than saying I don’t have the money, tell the truth. Maybe you don’t understand the value. Maybe you’re nervous or afraid. Most likely you have some ancient programming or hooks that are creeping up around money. This same thing applies to time.)

Take care of yourself so you can solve the world’s problems (well not a good idea to solve the worlds’ problems but take care of yourself first so you can do your best for your business, your family, your friends, your sanity.)

Get someone to work with you on your energy. Energy is everything and without the energy to do something you will get frustrated, angered, annoyed, or make poor decisions etc, more easily.

Be grateful for what you have rather than what you do not have.

Recognize that you deserve more than you could ever know and that only you are holding that back, not the creator.

Smile a lot more. Maybe even smile for an entire day. Wouldn’t that be an amazing feat.

Meditate daily. You already meditate (learn more about that in my book Learn to Meditate in 2 Minutes for the Lazy, Crazy and Time Deficient) on a lot of what you don’t want. Why not learn to meditate in a way that will give you maximum benefit?

Create a schedule for each of these so they become second nature, just like brushing your teeth.

Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, humans cannot live without a spiritual side. ~ Buddha

Most of us learned to pray as little children. As adults, we’ve all had experiences where God (or the Universe, if you prefer) hasn’t answered our prayers. A recent experience caused me to ask myself…..

If God doesn’t answer a prayer in the way that we expect the answer to appear, does that mean he’s not listening….. or, could it mean that we’re not? 

A few days ago I was on Twitter when I saw a random tweet from a teenager, asking us to pray for her family, as they were looking for the answer to a big problem. As she tweeted with her friends asking everyone to pray for them, I realized I had a connection that could solve her problem. I reached out to her with a tweet, asking her to share an email by a direct message, so that we could talk privately and not be limited to Twitter’s 140 characters.

Rather than responding to me with joy, she was “creeped out” that a stranger would read her tweet and reach out to help. From my simple tweet telling her that I thought I could help her  and asking her to contact me, she asked me stop being a “creeper”.

My first reaction was one of hurt and disbelief, because I was being nice, right? A minute later I smiled and realized two important things.

First, in order for God to answer our prayers, we have to remain open to possibilities that we might not have thought of. In other words, if you’re praying for the love of your life to show up and you have your eye set on a specific person, chances are you might miss other opportunities for love that are right under your nose.

If you’re praying for an answer to a problem, the solution might come from an unlikely source, even from a stranger. So many times, we don blinders and think that God doesn’t answer our prayers, simply because the answer doesn’t show up as we expect it to.

Secondly, I had to let go of any expectation in reaching out to help another and remember that a gift is still a gift, even if the other person doesn’t accept it. It’s  more important to reach out with love and to give, than it is to receive any gratitude or accolades for doing so. Giving is a gift to the giver, many times, more than it is to the receiver.

We all find mirrors in life to reflect back to us that which we most need to learn ourselves. I saw that God did send an answer to this young woman’s prayer and she missed it, because she was too busy seeing the world through a lens of expectation and limitation.  That realization made me evaluate my own life, and see where I’m doing the same thing. We all have expectations on how things “should” be, and sometimes when they show up differently, it’s more challenging to find the blessing in the situation.

So today, I invite you to join me and remain open to possibility. Believe that only good things are coming your way- even when you can’t see it that way. Look for the blessing in every challenge. Know that God is listening… and most importantly, we need to make sure that we’re listening too. 

Photo Credit: Max Elman

One way that we can stay happy in life is by showing gratitude for what we have and experience.

Here are some things to think about as you go about your day:

1. Accept things as they are. No matter how much the situation has turned out differently to your expectations, it is the way it is. You don’t know how much worse off you could have been had things gone differently.

2. Focus on what is right in your life rather than what’s wrong. Try to put positive thoughts in your life and get rid of the negative. Count your blessings and be thankful for what you have, not what you don’t have.

3. Say “Thank you” as often as possible to all the people who make your life what it is. A smile and a simple thank you will do. Show appreciation to the cashier the next time you get groceries or take the time to show appreciation for the cleaning staff at your workplace. It can be an easy thing if you look for the opportunities to do so. If you can find out the name of your postman and a little bit about his life, you’ll be surprised at what such a simple act of thanks will do for their day.

4. Smile. It doesn’t cost you anything and it will bring joy to someone else’s day. You can find more tips in our blog “Ways To Show Gratitude”. Remember it all starts with you.

Subtle energy is 95% of our world. If the healer draws on their energy field then their energy gets drained. You often see this when attending conscious type conferences and observe the aged look of many of the practitioners.

The objective is to activate the spiritual cord, more so than the ordinary person, so that the energy is drawn from higher vibrational sources. The spiritual cord is developed each incarnation through right thought, right action and right speech. Meditation and having a guide are the ideal ways to develop the spiritual cord because the human tendency is to veer off course and the guide/teacher/guru can help the alignment.

The healer who has skill is not necessarily the healer with the most power or the most success. Skill in our left brain sense is about developing and yet the power and true skill comes from the clearing of the healer’s own chakral seeds. The chakral seeds are cleared through various forms of modalities and where meditation is of great benefit.

These conditions that different people have are a result of the chakral seeds, lower vibrational frequencies in the environment (home, work, family, city, etc.) and the limiting beliefs that have been passed down. These energies do vibrate at different rates of light and sound and create the opportunity for the healer and the one being healed to experience different results. The key to all successful healing is that the recipient is receptive and allows or moves aside rigidity about how it can or cannot occur.

A practitioner that has used advanced forms of meditation and has a developed spiritual cord can facilitate amazing results without the knowledge of the energetic issues. This has been spoken of and witnessed over the past thousands of years with the ancient yogic traditions in India and Tibet. The western mind is opening more each day to this and yet our need to follow the left brain with why and how can often get in the way of the highest and best result.

The more clear of seeds of negative thinking, beliefs and programming the more quickly the healing occurs. This is why you may see a miracle with one person and those same results take much longer with another.

I’ve worked with clients who had cancer one day and their receptivity was so high and aligned that once we did the work the cancer was gone. On the other side of spectrum is the client that needs all those limitations cleared in order for the cancer to go.

Technology is only going to be as good as we humans are at allowing the nuances of subtle energy to take different forms and discussion. There are glimmers of this in science and yet the scientists that access one glimmer of light often become stuck in their limitations.

Given that I’ve studied and worked with energy for the past 20 years, helped thousands, used advanced forms of meditation along with teaching meditation and healing modalities – I can say that this conversation is just the tip of the iceberg.

Happiness, as I’ve said before, starts with you. It is all about your attitude toward life and the situations you face in daily living. You have to look at what you have accomplished in a day, week, and month etc – not what you haven’t accomplished.

If you are having trouble finding happiness in your day and it seems like your attitude is shifting to negative things, here are a few tips for you:

• Try to change the way you look at things by looking at the bright side.  Focus on solutions, not the problems.
• Listen to music that will lift you up, not bring you down.
• Watch a comedy movie when you are feeling down; it will make you laugh.
• Take a few minutes out of your day to read something inspiring (like InspireMeToday.com!)
• When you start to think about negative things, try to change those thoughts to something positive.
• Always look at what you have accomplished, not at what you haven’t.
• Every day, do something good for yourself. It can be something as simple as buying a book, eating something you enjoy, or watching your favorite TV show.
• Every day, do at least one thing that makes others happy. You could help out one of your colleagues at work or offer a word of kindness to someone.

These are just a few things that you can do to increase happiness in your life and improve your overall attitude.

Now that social media is at a place where you’ll find yourself on camera at some point or another you want to learn to clear and resolve that inner critic about the camera. I know I certainly had to and continue to have to do this.

I discovered that I have muted energy when using video and when someone is talking to me and asking questions I’m myself and animated. What is your energy like when you do use video?

Worried about how you look? Afraid to speak loudly? Afraid or concerned that you’ll seem or look stupid? You become someone else. Worried about the camera because it adds 10 pounds? Don’t want to watch yourself because of unconscious beliefs that you don’t want to see where parts are imperfect? Afraid you won’t look professional enough and the video will make us look like an idiot, embarrassed, ashamed and like you don’t know what you’re talking about? I could go on but there’s an energetic technique to use that will clear this.

The color of your clothes matters just as much as the color of your energy. Remember that most people can’t get away with black on camera but Steve Jobs succeeded, because it’s really about energy. It works best when we’re excited, hyped, and enthusiastic and LOVE what we’re doing.  The key thing is to tap your heart.

I am often asked what the simplest steps to increase one’s intuition are. To simplify as much as possible, the top three steps that I believe are essential in creating a better intuitive connection are:

First: Take three deep breaths every few hours throughout your day.

A breath is in a sense our soul, so it’s essential to get the breath balanced so that we receive clear guidance. Putting up a post it note in your car and on your computer that says “Breathe X 3” will remind you to take in those three deep breaths through the nose and out through the mouth. By doing this one simple tool you will find that you will feel more confident and open to receiving guidance or messages from the Divine.

Second: Know your ego voice!

The more that you understand the difference between your ego voice versus your intuitive voice the less time you will distract yourself with worrying if you are getting a true message or hearing the divine properly. Some top points about ego voice: Ego never acknowledges change – it is stuck in the past and uses past situations to project into your future. Ego gives problems or drama, never the solution. It will always compare ourselves to others telling us we are either better or less then someone else.

Third: Know Your Intuitive Voice!

Your intuition is kind and always looking for the best possible solution. It helps you identify change where ego resists change. Intuition is direct, to the point and never promotes fear. Your intuition is calm no matter what the message that you are receiving is. It makes you feel confidant, at peace and like you can move forward with thinking of “what if” or “how”. Intuition makes us all feel equal with others and keeps things simple!

Ego and Intuition work hand in hand. The ego gives you drive and allows you to learn. Where intuition guides you with no judgement and includes everyone with love and compassion.

Spend everyday taking three deeps breaths at least three times a day (think morning, noon and night) and observing your thoughts as they come. You will start to distinguish your ego voice and your intuitive voice. Keep this article handy as a reference or save it on a mobile device to make it easy to check in with as you observe your ego and intuition as thoughts come in.

Photo Credit: Max Elman

Being positive whenever possible makes you and those around you feel good. How can you do that? The following acronym should give you some ideas.

P – People. What kind of people are you surrounding yourself with? Try to be around those who are positive and avoid negative people whenever possible.

O– Optimism. Find the optimism in your life even if it’s a small thing.

S – Smile. Something as simple as that can change your mood from negative to positive in a matter of seconds. You can also contribute to someone else’s well-being by smiling. It just might brighten their day!

I – Interest. Find something that interests you and makes you happy. It could be learning to crochet, scrapbooking, horseback riding, puzzles…the list is endless. You might even find something that interests your child or teach them something and that will bring you both some happiness.

T – Try. This may seem simple, but if you try to be positive as much as possible, it can be pretty amazing how quickly things change in your life.

I – Inventory. Take inventory or stock of your life and circumstances and find the positive things that are there.

V – Vacate. Put more simply, leave areas or situations where there is negative talk. This will help you to keep your positive attitude!

E – Endure. Endure trials and challenges that come into your life. This isn’t always easy, but if you can find even one positive thing while you endure, then that is something. Hopefully the above ideas will help you to stay positive. They are by no means a complete list nor does everyone have the same circumstances.

Yesterday, I was speaking with a few clients about money issues. They were each talking about what they didn’t have and what was going wrong. Each of them was entrenched in the problem rather than the solution.

Money is the energetic equivalent of flow. When you go into the place of thinking you don’t have it and it’s too hard to get it, you are building a dam. If you are positive thinker on one hand and a worrier on the other you are canceling out the positive.

It takes 40 times more energy to use negative forces than it does to use positive forces. This has been proven by science again and again.

If you don’t think you have something then you won’t. When you’re worried about people taking advantage of you then that is exactly what they will do. Employees will respond to your thoughts and do exactly what you tell them. The energy of your thoughts is as powerful to manifest results, whether bad or good.

My client the other day completely negated all the good several of his staff had done. They each made different mistakes and yet he was about to fire them. His real issue was that he was impatient and didn’t communicate well enough along the way and wanted everyone to know how to do something he had never spoken. This is another aspect of stopping the flow and building a dam.

Your thinking is stopping you in many areas. Where is it stopping you? Thinking that the employees are honorable and are exceeding your expectations is going create less friction in the universe. Keep the thought of success, as everyone is mentally drawn to the energy of that thought.

When you follow the need to be over-responsible you are actually limiting your security. You are putting yourself at a more at risk position when you are stopping your success with negative self-aggrandizing thoughts. You are predetermining your success when you act from fear.

Everyone defines happiness differently. It makes sense, as no two people are alike. The way you define happiness in your life may be likened to a person’s fingerprint – no two are alike.

It helps to ask yourself, “Am I looking for the happy moments in my life? Am I defining happiness in a way that brings me to a positive place in my life?” You may even want to ask yourself, “How am I defining happiness?”

In previous blogs, I’ve mentioned writing down one thing every day that made you happy or starting a gratitude journal is another way to approach things. This can help you to define those happy moments in your life.

Just remember that happiness starts with you. You have the power to make positive things happen in your life and no one else can do that for you. You just have to look for those happy moments in your life- they don’t have to be big either. It can be something as simple as watching your child take their first step or say their first word. Then again, it may be something big such as getting your first house or getting married.

The energy of not enough time is prevalent in our western population. Every time you reinforce the thought, and energy, that you don’t have enough time the more elusive time is.

You zap and suck your energy when you allow interruptions and constant bombardment.

Interrupters in your day include email that automatically downloads and dings every time there’s a new one. This is a persistent guilt driven and energy draining force in your day. The same applies to texting and the need to respond immediately. Turning on the television is one of the classic interrupters and energy suckers.

Turn off your inner critic and guilt by turning off your auto receive of emails, Facebook connections, no emails on your cell phone, general internet access, texting, blaming others for taking your time, etc.

One of my favorite things to do is a watch movie and yet I’m taking a break from watching movies. I’ve unsubscribed from all movie notices and all ways to watch movies. So far I’ve got a lot more time to write and clear up any nagging situations and it’s only been a week. I got an email from a friend who is going so far as disconnecting their Internet access. I’m not there yet but it seems like an awesome idea. I’ll let you know if I take that route.

Happiness is knowing you’ve made a difference in someone’s life.

Watching your child say their first word or take their first step.

The first time they say “mama” or “dada” brings an instant smile to your face.

Waking up to the sunrise and knowing that today is a new day.

Having no physical or emotional pain.

Being with the person or people who love you. Letting them know that they are loved and cared about in return.

Dancing in the rain….or walking in the rain with someone who loves you. Not caring that you are soaked to the skin or that now you have to peel your drenched clothes off.

The sand between your toes when you walk or sit on the beach. Collecting shells with your kids and seeing their faces when they put the shell up to their ear and tell you they hear the ocean.

Appreciating the little things in life; being thankful for what you have, not complaining about what you don’t have.

Having someone appreciate something you did or said for them. A simple “thank you” is all it takes! Seeing inner beauty; what a person is like on the outside mattering more than outward physical appearance. This is only a small example of things that personify happiness.

See how easy it is to list the things that create happiness in life? Just write down one thing every day that makes you happy or thankful. It can be in a notebook or a journal if you have one. Are you ready to transform your life?

“You don’t lose until you quit trying,” my boyfriend, Richard, keeps telling me. It sounds too easy. It seems too simple. The more I see him put it into action, though, the more his words make sense.

The first time I heard his claim, I said, “You’d better check with Hillary Clinton. Remember how badly she’d wanted the Democratic nomination in 2008?”

“She didn’t quit trying,” he said. “Instead, she became Secretary of State.”

I hadn’t thought of it that way, but he gave me a new perspective. I figured that Hillary Clinton’s defeat was a prime example of giving a cause your all and losing despite it. I’d never thought about what she gained or how she might have a more far-reaching influence as Secretary of State than she would have as President. Richard’s glass is always half full.

He reminds me of Kathie, an educator I worked with in an adult literacy program ten years ago. She was doing an intake with a dyslexic woman named Marty who’d sat in the back of every class and hid behind a book or retied her shoelaces whenever the teacher looked at her. Over and over, Marty said, “This time I’ll try harder.”

Kathie knew that trying harder wouldn’t solve anything. Marty processed print differently from most people. She needed different tools for decoding words, and they hadn’t existed when she was in school. Once she learned some new tools, her efforts began paying off.

“Why don’t you try differently?” Kathie suggested during her intake.

Marty’s face lit up. “Can you teach me how to do that?”

Have you ever let go of a job, a relationship, or a promise? Why? If it’s because you weren’t getting the results you wanted, consider adopting both Richard’s and Kathie’s approach to life:

• You don’t lose until you quit trying.  ~~Richard
• Don’t try harder. Try differently.  ~~Kathie

Richard often helps people who need food, a job, or a place to live. Rather than telling them, “You don’t lose until you quit trying,” he shows them. Like Kathie, he demonstrates that rewards come from “trying differently.” If the first, second, or third solution he suggests doesn’t work, he doesn’t stop.

He firmly believes you don’t lose until you quit trying. Since he doesn’t quit trying, he’s a winner, and since I’m his girlfriend, I’m a winner too. He’s taught me to laugh and love and we are reframing each other’s worlds.

How do you feel about losing, trying, and trying differently? I’d love to hear your responses. 

Photo Credit: Max Elman

When leaders are complimentary in their mind towards their group, staff, vendors, family, etc. then discord can be easily disintegrated. The energy of the leader at the top is the energy of all the people below. A thought of anger permeates the entire organization and is just like putting a cog in the wheel of productivity. Frustration energy is like putting battery acid on your computer.

Every time you appreciate the person who works with you and for you is like putting grease in the gears. The energy of appreciation is as if you are creating the ability for errors to diminish and fears most people have of not doing something right. Appreciation is like a course correction when the situation is off course.

How to use the energy of appreciation: 
Think about those people in your life who are there for you. This is particularly important when you’ve been difficult towards others. Give mental appreciation for the fact they are there. You may even want to go so far as sending an email or a note of gratitude.

Take responsibility for your responses and actions and correct the energy before it becomes rampant and destroys your organization. 
When criticizing, use an even tone, tap your heart center to be more soft and clear in your communications and do not assume you are the one that’s right. Ask questions and get into the energy of curiosity of what is going on and why it’s not working the way your head energy thinks it should. 
You should look for things that are going right rather than looking for what’s wrong with everything.

The more you give appreciation for someone who is on the path of progress rather than criticism, appreciation energy is going to create the workplace and employees that you ultimately wish to have.

Happiness can be likened to hidden treasure – and just like you would use a map to seek that treasure – you can seek happiness in life. The biggest question you are faced with when seeking happiness is how? How do I find that small nugget of happiness in a chaotic life?

Do I even have happiness in my life? Sometimes we can’t even see it. Just like someone looking for gold or some other treasure, you have to dig for it and keep searching until you find it. Put in a simpler way – you have to look for it.

It doesn’t have to be a big event that makes you happy either. It could be that your child learned to tie their shoes by themselves or that you stopped and took in the sunset at the end of a long day…and it made you smile. Maybe you helped someone and they thanked you for it.  It all starts with you! You have to be willing to open yourself up to finding those previously hidden “nuggets” of happiness.

Take the time to recognize and appreciate those moments in your life. You can even share your happiness with a friend or someone else in your life that you are close to if you want – they will be happy for you. This keeps the happiness going and your sharing it contributes to someone else’s happiness and well-being. Make the choice now to seek the happy moments in your life. They are there if you take the time to look.

Do you feel a small or large punch in your gut when you’ve seen someone who is doing what you want to do or someone you know who has gotten an opportunity that you want? Have you posted something in a group that you’re affiliated with and taken the initiative only to have them try to one up you?

You deserve the best in every aspect of your life and now is the time to get it. How?

This energy punch is a remnant from childhood and being told you did something wrong, from being let down and from being held back.

Here are a few very simple tools from our Paramitas the System to help. Fist, cut the cord to the event. Then erase the event and replace what was troublesome with a new image. If you don’t have a new image, use the word happy or peaceful or successful or courageous.

When you do this then you have taken away this energy that sucker punches you for the slightest thing.

Get your power back just by using these simple energy tools that are extremely powerful and will get you results immediately. The other person has their karma to deal with for taking something that is not theirs and you will have taken a much higher road with greater riches in the long run.

With winter and colder temperatures here to stay, you may be feeling what can be termed the winter blues or Seasonal Affective Disorder. However, you can find happiness despite these feelings.

How can you beat those winter blues? You might try a brisk walk or you could take up a winter sport. Just remember to adapt your exercise to winter conditions. Exercise releases endorphins, which keep you in a good mood and the effects can last long after your workout is done.

Learn something new by taking up a new hobby. This will make you feel good during the long months of winter. Don’t keep yourself from friends and family. Keep interacting with those you care about! Get some sun, even if it’s only a little bit. If you keep your shades up, you can bring a little bit of sunlight in to the room, too.

Feed your mind with things that are positive. Avoid negative news stories or books. This seems easy but you’ll be surprised what a difference it makes.

These are just a few of the things you can do to help conquer those winter blues. Try to enjoy winter as much as you can, even though it may seem difficult- those few months will pass before you know it.

The most common reason women are seeking to better themselves is because they want to live “on purpose”.  Meaning they want to be in line or working to develop their purpose for being, being here and doing what they are doing.

One of the reasons that people are so unhappy in their life is that they are living out of alignment with their purpose. For example, you work as an investment banker and yet you really want to be selling custom furniture where you are the designer of some pieces. This is an actual situation from a client of mine and we identified many aspects of why she was so distraught and accident-prone and that she was living out of alignment with her purpose.

The highest high and best vibration is when you live on purpose. Even if you aren’t ready to completely live your purpose it’s a good idea to get that energetic charge of doing something that is line with your purpose. And if you don’t know your purpose then that’s where you want to look up and receive the help you’ve been begging for.

Here is a tip to get to your purpose and get that vibe and energetic charge:

• My purpose is clear to me
• I am evolving toward my purpose with ease and Grace
• When I am living my purpose then I’ll feel that energy charge and recognize it, rather than ignore it.
• I am the person who is in the flow and allowing purpose to flow with me and toward me.

Let me know what your purpose is and your thoughts on how you are acting “on purpose”.

If you’ve been reading my blog for any period of time, you know that I write about inspiration and how to live a better life. Today, I want to share something personal with you, about health- yours and mine in particular.

Never before has our health been as important as it is today. Two-thirds of adults are either overweight or obese. In the past decade alone, the incidence of diabetes has grown a staggering 90%!

Today, a growing number of people are becoming aware that lifestyle choices can have a powerful effect on our health. Yet, many still eat a health-destroying diet rich in fat, salt, sugar and junk and rely on pills and procedures to treat the side effects.

More than twenty years ago, I decided to stop eating animal products. People generally decide to become vegan (consuming no animal products) for one of three reasons- their personal health, the environmental impact of an animal based diet, or out of compassion for the animals slaughtered. In my case, I initially decided to eat a plant-based diet because of the global environmental ramifications.

I was a strict vegan for about 15 years, but I added back fish… then seafood…. and then cheese. In the last few years since making those changes, I’ve passed the milestone 50 years of age, and have for the first time in my life, noticed signs of aging. My mother passed away and friends around me were getting sick. Rather than deal with the symptoms that come with age and bad habits, I wanted to fix the cause. 

A few weeks ago my husband and I watched a DVD called Forks Over Knives. T.Colin Campbell and Caldwell Esselstyn, Jr., M.D, two of the most respected health researchers, create the book and the DVD. I was not prepared for the impact that this DVD would have on my personal world.

Recently, I’ve been part of a support team for several patients dealing with stage 4 cancer of one kind or another. This DVD showed research from Campbell’s book, The China Study, as well as clinical research from Dr. Esselstyn that was simply irrefutable. The movie revealed how cancer and other diseases skyrocket when we eat meat and dairy, but plummet when a traditional plant-based diet is implemented.

It was a perfect reminder for me that there is nothing else we can do for our health that can match the benefits of a plant-based diet. Nothing, period.

The last thing I expected was for this movie to have a significant impact on my Midwestern, meat and potatoes husband who grew up raising cattle. But it did. So much so, that without my asking, he’s eaten only a plant-based diet ever since! He travels for a living and has even eaten plant-based while on the road- not just when it’s easy at home.

For me, I feel like I’ve come back home. Instead of the same habit of grilling a fish and serving it with some veggies, our meals now center on whole organic vegetables, grains, legumes and fruits. In addition to our regular Vitamix green smoothies, the last few days we’ve enjoyed a sweet potato/veggie lasagna, Indian lentil stew, yamadillas (yam quesadillas), stuffed acorn squash and even chocolate banana ice cream- made from frozen bananas with no dairy products. Yum!

My taste buds feel like they’ve been reborn! I’m excited to cook the next meal and create something that promotes such vitality! It’s almost like I can feel my cells saying, “YES!!!!” with each bite.

This time, while the environmental impact and the compassion for the animals is still a concern, I’m eating a plant-based diet for my health. The side benefit is that my footprint on our beautiful planet will be much smaller, and animals won’t need to suffer needlessly so that I can be unhealthy.

Already I feel lighter, more energized and healthier, and it’s only been two weeks! I’m inspired to live a healthy life and to share the benefits of a plant-based diet with you. Imagine being off of your medications… your cholesterol levels, blood sugars and weight being exactly where they’re supposed to be… these are just a few of the “side effects”. For me, that sure beats the list of side effects of any pharmaceutical drug!

I invite you to join me on this adventure. Buy the book or the DVD and ask yourself just one question…..

What if one simple change could save you from heart disease, diabetes and cancer?

Join me to take your health to the next level and please feel free to ask questions or comment below. I’m happy to support you and help in any way!

The best way that we can live an inspired life and be there for one another is to first take care of ourselves, and that starts with using our forks over knives.

Photo Credit: Ed Yourdon

You might be asking yourself, “How can I find happiness? What can I do right now to get the most happiness out of my life? Am I taking the time to enjoy the little, seemingly small moments in life that can bring me happiness?”

We can look at each question and try to answer each one, but remember everyone has different feelings as to what makes them happy. It’s like your unique fingerprint- no two are alike!

How can I find happiness? – You have to be open to looking for it in even the small things in your everyday life for one thing. What makes you happy may not be what makes someone else happy, but it’s okay. We are all unique and different.

What can I do right now to get the most happiness out of my life? – It all begins now.

• Look at the moments in your life now and enjoy them.

• Remember too that it all starts with you and you can choose happiness.

• Pay attention. Am I taking the time to enjoy the little, seemingly small moments in life that can bring me happiness?  Take the time to look for these and stop to enjoy them.

• It also means that you slow down in your day-to-day activities.

It’s really easy if you just take the time to think about it. I hope these questions and tips have helped you to start finding happiness in your life!

I have three scars on the inside edge of my left forearm. Two look like fading purple blotches, like sun-faded paint or the ancient scrawls of a fierce toddler armed with crayons.

The fierce toddler who put the pair of scars on my forearm was my sweet little Mikko McPuppers. He’s an eighteen-pound senior shih tzu. Usually he’s mellow. On the night he bit me though, he was disoriented. He didn’t know where we were going or how to get back, and I think an old fear of losing his home and family may have resurfaced.

We were in a strange truck in the middle of the night. He didn’t know why we changed vehicles or where we were headed. The floor was crowded and uncomfortable and the little bit of space on the seat was worse. For all he knew, he might never see our home again.

When my boy friend, Richard, got out to fill the gas tank, Mikko jumped into the driver’s seat. “You can’t sit there,” I said.

He put his head between his paws.

“Come on, Mikko. Get down.” When I got no response, I tugged on his collar. He snarled and leaped at me. I looked down and saw his teeth in my flesh. “No,” I screamed when I saw the crimson blood on my pale arm.

“Mikko!” I said. Though I sounded shocked the words “bad dog” did not occur to me. When he growls and bites he’s trying to protect himself or me.

I grabbed a Wet One to sop up the blood and disinfect the wound. I love Mikko dearly, but dog mouths carry germs.

He slunk over the console and onto the floor.  He knew he’d been a bad dog.

“What are you protecting us from?” I asked as I turned the Wet One over.

He looked up with eyes that said, “I’m sorry, Mommy. What’s going on?”

We were taking a risk, leaving for a weekend of camping in the middle of Friday night, but Richard had been busy with payroll and his estimated leaving time moved from 4:30 to 8:30. Mikko was still learning to share me with Uncle Daddy.

Mellow Mikko McPuppers

After the blood dried I noticed that the bite marks looked like single quotes around a much older scar, that I got almost 50 years ago on my last day at Kennolyn Camp.

We were in the rink, showing our families what we’d learned about riding, and Rockinghorse and I had just gone over a low jump, when I slid off his left side and landed on my arm. I started to get up, but when I pushed against it, nothing happened.

One of the counselors, a Stanford medical student, helped me up. He put my arm in a sling, and when they took it off at the doctor’s office, it was covered with blood. The bone had broken through the skin.

A small white line is still there. You had to know where to find it until Mikko’s teeth marks set it off.

I never used Neosporin to make them disappear. They remind me how much I love Mikko. I don’t carry a grudge. These scars have become pictures only I can see.

It’s better to embrace life and get scars than to sit on the sidelines and get nothing. Besides they remind me that the pain they cause is only temporary.

What scars (visible or not) have you acquired recently? Write and tell us how you acquired them and how you feel about them. Or write about anything. Thanks!

Our minds are the greatest tool we have and without the proper use of our mental energy, mental creativity and right mindset opportunities for mistakes arise. Those mistakes or missed opportunities lead to thousands of dollars in lost revenue and hundreds of hours of lost time.

Here are the mindset mistakes we make:

• Allowing others to steal your vision and your energy.
• Being overwhelmed because too many projects press on you that all seem important.
• Keeping the employee or contractor that is the least productive and who takes the greatest amount of your time.
• Refusal to delegate.
• Not asking for the money.

When your vision and purpose is getting interference from others is when you are at your weakest. This setting takes energy, time and money right out of our pockets.

Our mind creates the opportunity and it also creates the obstacle. When an obstacle is created by fear, we are imprinting that into every facet of our lives. We have many unhealthy mental beliefs that are important to release in order to achieve our highest potential and earn many thousands of dollars.

To step into your greatness and fullness of energy, mental clarity, and earning capacity and to achieve results, you must get clear minded. The clearer you are mentally the more clear your results. Better yet, the clearer your energy field is the more clear your mind and the more quickly the results just begin to appear.

Your outlook on life and overall well-being can be linked to your perspective. It goes back to the old question, Is the glass half full or half empty? What lens am I going to look at my life through? Will I choose the lens where I see the positive and cope with the negative to the best of my ability or the lens where I see the negative and can’t find the positive in my life?

In his talk The Last Lecture, Professor Randy Pausch talked about perspective and how to look at situations in life by introducing the Tigger vs. Eyeore debate. He said that people could choose to either be a Tigger – a person who looked for the positive things in their life and had a “bounce in their step” so to speak or they could be an Eyeore – and look at the negative things in life.

Yes, Professor Pausch dealt with a lot when facing his pancreatic cancer- and I am sure there were many days when he was nearly beaten down to his knees – maybe even wanting to take the Eyeore outlook on whatever he was going through, but somewhere inside himself he was able to get back up and look at everything from the Tigger perspective.

There may be days when it seems nearly impossible to find any positive thing in your life and it isn’t always easy, but you can choose how you perceive whatever you are facing. You can decide which side of the Tigger or Eyeore debate you are on. After all, happiness is an inside job.

To hear more from Randy Pausch, you can read his Today’s Brilliance right here on InspireMeToday.com, and listen to an interview with his co-author, Jeff Zaslow.

At the end of our path when we look back on life, we won’t remember the worry over the bills, the disappointment over not receiving the promotion, or the things that we might have judged as a “failure” in our life. What we will remember, are the moments that we loved, for love is truly the meaning of life.

At the core of every religion is one thing- love. When it comes down to it, love is the only thing that really matters. So, if we want to live a life that really matters, the most important question we can ask ourselves is….  ”Am I being loving in this moment?”

It’s easy to be loving when people are kind to us and things are going our way. It can be a challenge when life kicks us in the face. When someone cuts us off in traffic or steals our parking space, our default mode is usually one of anger rather than love. Instead of cursing that person, that’s the time to ask ourself, “What’s the most loving thing I could do right now?”  Not only will our kindness make it difference in their day, most important, it will make a difference in ours too!

The greatest gift we can give to one another is the gift of our kindness and our love. When we walk with compassion and kindness for others, the whole world is a better place for all of us.

Loving others starts with first loving ourself. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made and let them go. See yourself as the magnificent being that you are, with unlimited potential and infinite possibility. Realize that you are so much more powerful than even your biggest problems. When we tap into the core essence of who we are, we feel better about ourselves and it’s easier to share love with others.

7 Steps to Bring Love Into Your Life NOW!

-       Start and end your day with gratitude. If what you focus on grows, let it be gratitude for the love in your life.

-       Apologize to those you have hurt and forgive those who have hurt you. Start each day with a clean slate and a heart overflowing with love.

-       Wear a smile as a badge of courage and don’t let anyone wipe it from your face. Be conscious of your smile and share it lovingly!

-       Surround yourself with loving people who support you and your growth.

-       Think kind thoughts. Our actions first begin as thoughts, so replace negative thoughts with loving kindness.

-       With every action and especially with our reactions, spread only love. If it’s not kind, don’t do it. Period.

-       Take love with you in all things that you do and leave only ripples of kindness behind you.

May your day overflow with love!

As you walk through life it is often wondered how I fit in, what is my mission, what is my purpose, and how can I earn more money. These thoughts get bantered around our heads a lot. Mostly when we are feeling low, down, or just plain stuck.

Being stuck is truly a sign of how little value we place on ourselves, our ideas, our options, and our abundance that we already have. Settling is just a bad habit that has been trained into our psyche and is an excuse to stay in a situation that doesn’t work for us.

Scientists have, at one time, calculated that we were valued at $32 in the chemical market. Today I believe those numbers would be somewhat greater but overall we often do not value ourselves even that much. If we did then some of those brilliant ideas floating around would come to fruition.

I recently read a line somewhere that stated the energy in our body could light the United States. What I discovered is that studies were done where a DuPont scientist said that the atoms of your body contain the potential energy of more than 11 million kilowatt hours per pound. So the overall estimate is that the average person is worth $85 billion dollars. Wow, we’ve so undervalued ourselves.

Some of us now and then tend to wonder what our mission in this life is, especially when we feel down, and we do not recognize how valuable a human being we really are. We come up with some great ideas, but feel they are not that good. If they were, someone else would come up with them. It’s too bad that, almost always, we place little value on our ideas and ourselves.

The value we place on ourselves come from external standards. Parents, media, and The Joneses help us place standards on our selves. Begin to think, every day; I am valuable just as I am. You will find that new opportunities arise at the least expected moments.

The electronics in our body are really just energy and we can turn it off or we can turn it on. That energy can be directed in positive ways or negative ways. By directing that energy into a positive avenue you have less friction. For example you feel worried by all the media hype around the economy. What then happens is that you attract worry energy around you. I often tell mothers of my youngest clients (kids) to turn the television off for 2 months and see how the behavior of that child changes. Miraculous changes occur and they are more energetic and happier. When we are happier and without so much friction we value ourselves more.

Leave out the external electronics in your world for a week and see what wonderful things occur. Eliminate the electrical items in your bedroom alone and you will sleep much better. Stop listening to the radio while driving and you will arrive at your destination much more easily and actually calmly. The friction will decrease and the value increases. Energy can then flow more easily.

Your energy body will thank you and actually increase because you are leaving out external forces. When your energy body is more fluid your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self is more healthy and vibrant. This is one reason nature is so good for us. It’s about the energy that we are absorbing from nature but it is also about the body recouping by being un-plugged.

Value your energy and your value goes up. Learn that there are methods where you can actually master your energy.

Why has it taken me three months to respond to Kristan’s lovely invitation, overcome my fear, and become a blogger here?

• Fear of technology.
• Fear of glitches.
• Fear of the unknown.

I love technology, but it scares me. Change scares me. The unknown scares me. Glitches with no solution scare me. And beneath all that, the fear of looking like a fool scares me. I’m working on overcoming all of this.

Machines always seem to have a mind of their own. I don’t control them. I can’t even ask them what’s wrong, what they need, or why they won’t cooperate.

So I put the blog for Inspire Me Today on a back burner, even though people have been urging me to blog for years. I procrastinated. The lure of more readers was tiny compared to my fears. What if the “submit” button was missing or the directions included technical jargon that I could not decode?

I was afraid of failing. I was afraid of making a mistake and looking stupid, a fear that should have dissolved at least forty years ago.

I crossed one item after another off of my “to-do” list while I ignored “Blog for Inspire Me Today.” I let my conscience nag at me. Finally on Friday, January 13, 2012, I told myself to give blogging an hour. Find out what the problems are, I said as I finished my morning journaling. Once you know what you’re up against, you can ask for help.

I keep getting better and better at asking for help because I’m surrounded by friends who do that. My boyfriend trouble-shoots. He’s always on the phone answering questions and assigning jobs. A neighbor, who is a research librarian, helps college students find information efficiently. Sales clerks answer questions, bag boys carry groceries to the car, and the clerks at Starbuck’s know me as the woman who wants half-caf—half decaf. We are here to help each other, but no one can help until I dig into a task and identify problems.

Kristan, thanks for keeping the opportunity open while I found the time and the courage to take up blogging.  If this goes through, I’m living proof that blogging is fun, entertaining, and sometimes even inspiring.

Conquering one challenge always give me the courage to try another. Are you the same way? What challenges have you faced recently and what have you done about them? Write back and let me know, okay? I’d love to know how the readers here are meeting and conquering challenges, so please share. Thanks!

Photo Credit: Max Elman

In January of 2007, after being divorced for 7 years, I made a conscious choice to find love. Being an impatient person, I wanted a great relationship – and I wanted it now, so I entered the world of internet dating.

I started by creating a vision board, that had a lot of little things and 4 main items-  a home in the mountains of Colorado, a black X-5 BMW, a handsome dark haired man and, figuring that if you’re going to dream, you might as well dream BIG… I included a photo of a Gulfstream airplane, because I love to fly.

Within a week I found the home in Colorado, met the dark haired man, and get this…. he drove a black X-5 BMW (which is now my car) and he flew a Gulfstream airplane. Spooky? It gets even better. He moved in within 3 weeks and we were married on the anniversary of our first date. It’s been almost five years and we’ve never been happier.

So many people look at our relationship and have asked me to share how we did it.

What are the secrets to finding the love of your life online? 

For me, I just looked at the principles that were successful for me in business, and applied them to finding love. Coming from a left-brained, linear thinking real estate background, I simply applied logic to love…. and it worked, not only for me, but also for friends who have tried the same thing.

Due to your numerous requests, I’ve created an easy, step-by-step course called Love In 21 Days.

This Thursday, January 26th at 1pmPT I’m hosting a FREE call to talk about how I did it, share information with you on how you can do it too, and answer your questions. 

This is a big deal here at InspireMeToday.com, as this is our first course offering EVER. My team talked me into sharing this information, because it can help so many people find love. They even went as far as to tell me it would be selfish NOT to share it!

So, it is with great excitement that I’m inviting you to join me on the call this Thursday, January 26th at 1pmPST. Just sign up at LoveIn21Days.com and we’ll send you the call in information. On the call, you’ll be able to hear how I did it, ask your personal questions and also meet our two guest hosts, Jason Selk, the sports psychologist behind the World Series winning St. Louis Cardinals, and award-winning actress Mariel Hemingway. The call will be hosted by UK radio host, Lynn Serafinn.

Just imagine, by Valentine’s Day THIS YEAR, you could be in love!

I know how much joy my husband has brought into my life, and I want the same thing for you too. I’m here to help and support you in any way that I can, so please share your comments below or join me on the call this Thursday. Love in 21 Days is not only possible, with our daily course and support, I believe it’s also probable!

Love is waiting for you… what are you waiting for?

I can’t wait to celebrate your success!

With love and hugs,

Gail

Here’s what Happy really stands for.

H - Hopeful. Be hopeful that your dreams can and will come true. That each day will bring you something to look forward to.

A - Adventurous. Never be afraid to do something new. Don’t let negative thoughts hold you back or produce fear in trying something you haven’t tried before.

P – Positive. Be positive whenever possible. Positive things produce positive people – it’s contagious!

P - People. Surround yourself with people who make you happy. Also with those who are generally positive. Remember that we can all help each other.

Y - You. Being happy starts with you. Only you can choose whether you will be happy or not. You may be influenced by other people’s attitudes and feelings, but they can’t make you any one thing. You have the power to insert positive or negative experiences, attitudes and influences in your life. In the end, it all begins with you!

Are you ready to transform your life? Are you ready to open your arms and bring an abundance of joy, love, happiness, success and material wealth into your life? Are you ready to start living the life you want, not the life you have? Creating a wonderful life doesn’t just happen. It comes from choices you make everyday – even the smallest choices can have the biggest results

One of the most energy sapping things you can do is procrastinate. But how to stop is the real issue.

Here are some surefire ways to end that nagging issue of procrastinating.

Past – Avoiding things works because doing something may cause fear, anxiety and make us just feel bad. Many people feel, “I’m not doing something right” or “I won’t do it right anyway” so I’ll avoid doing it at all.

Solution – Anxiety is just fight or flight and fear is something I can push through and have a victory on the other side.

—–

Past – It has to be perfect. I don’t want to do anything unless it’s perfect. I’ll get in trouble if it’s not perfect.

Solution – Do the best you can, as that is perfection in itself. Perfection is just a tactic to stop myself from moving forward. It really is much easier than it is in your head.

—–

Past – Failure is death and I must not fail. I won’t do it because I might fail. If I do succeed it would be a miracle and miracles just don’t happen to me.

Solution – It is good to be human. Humans have been failing for millennia and your failure is actually your reward to a much better situation because you have failed before and you are still alive.

—–

Past – I shouldn’t have to. I’ve already gained experience in so many areas and I just shouldn’t have to, so I won’t. If it feels uncomfortable I shouldn’t have to do it. I only want happy and fun.

Solution – All you need is 20 seconds of courage. Sometimes doing things I need to do is a fantastic feeling. The sooner it’s done the sooner I get to my fun. Might as well have fun sooner.

—–

Past – It doesn’t feel right. The stars, moon and right time just haven’t shown up and if I wait it will show up.

Solution – Waiting is over -the time is NOW. Your fear and anxiety are fantastic excuses to wait but doing it now is the exact right time. If you are in fear, you are in the future. Get grounded, get it done and move on. Life will be that much more rewarding and fun.

When you walk into an office, a store or someone’s home, you immediately get a sense for that place. It might be warm and welcoming or cold and filled with tension. You automatically use all your senses to develop a feeling for a place.If you are a parent, you are a leader in your family. You have the primarily responsibility for setting the tone in your home. How does your home feel? Is it a warm, welcoming place for everyone in your family?

A Home Filled with Tension

One mom told me about all the stress in her home. One of her three sons was doing very poorly in school. She and her husband were constantly nagging Joe to do his homework although it didn’t seem to help much. Sometimes Joe even skipped school and they responded by yelling at him and grounding him.

However, Joe would leave the house even though he was grounded. Home was not a welcoming place for Joe. This family turned things around when they made the tough decision to let Joe worry about his homework and grades instead of them. When they stopped nagging him, he started spending more time at home and he actually began taking more responsibility for his homework.

Replacing Negative Statements with Positive Statements

Sometimes parents get in the habit of interacting with their children using negative statements and commands. Read the following statements one dad made to his children and think about how you would feel if you were a child hearing these remarks:

• “You aren’t going outside until you put sunscreen on.”
• “Stop messing around with that!”
• “If you don’t hurry up and get your shoes on, I’m not taking you.”
• “You’ve already watched too much TV. You should not have turned it on again, now turn it off.”
• “You’re not eating dinner until you wash your hands.”
• “You are dawdling and we’re going to be late!”
• “Stop bugging your sister!”

How do you feel after reading these statements?

Let’s look at how these same ideas could be expressed more positively:

• “Feel free to go outside as soon as you put sunscreen on.”
• “That could break so you can play with this instead.”
• “I am leaving in two minutes. I’ll be happy to take you if you have your shoes on.”
• “Your TV time is up for today. Would you like to turn the TV off or would you like me to turn it off?”
• “Please wash your hands and then join us for dinner.”
• “We’re leaving in 5 minutes. Do you plan to be dressed or will you be taking your clothes in a bag?”
• “Your sister wants to be left alone right now. Do you want to play a game with me or go outside and play?”

How do you feel now? The words we use make a huge difference!

Results of Positive Statements

When we use more positive statements we demonstrate confidence that our children are likely to choose appropriate behavior. If we instead use a lot of nagging, ordering and yelling, we convey to our children that we feel they are likely to mess up if we’re not constantly on top of them – not quite the message we want to send!

By getting in the habit of positively stating requests, you will make the overall tone of your family more encouraging and optimistic. This is an essential ingredient in making your home a warm, welcoming place for everyone.

Now is the time when we all want to start our New Year’s resolutions. I agree that making positive changes and setting goals is a very good thing to do; however, it is important to do this all year round.

We become these excited little souls and we make big lists of the positive things we are going to change about ourselves in 2012. First thing I want to share about this is, YOU are already perfect the way you are and if you feel like making a few adjustments in areas of your life that is wonderful… However, please remind yourself that you are already perfect and that you are just deciding to show more love to yourself.

My concern is that only about 5-10% actually stick with their resolutions up to the end of February because they have made such huge lists in January rather than spreading it out over the year. Then comes our ego, making us feel like failures and that we are not strong enough to accomplish our goals. When it comes to setting goals for yourself, focus on solutions, NOT problems.

Be sure to take it slowly with any goals you may have. For example, if one wants to become more connected to the divine, it’s important to start meditations for only 3 minutes a day visualizing and seeing yourself already having a clearer connection, and then increase the time as the weeks go by.

If we run out to the store to buy all these books and start to force the connection, we are actually working against the flow of life. Just like if you start to workout really hard your body will tire out after a month. Our egos love to feed on this energy, so please be gentle with yourself and know that simple, easy steps are the way to make changes that will stick and become a part of your energy field and eventually a part of who you are.

I send you all huge waves of positive energy to achieve your goals (remember to do affirmations about your goals; this will help keep you focused).

One of the best things to do to keep you focused is to show yourself love everyday. Wrap your arms around yourself and say to yourself “I love you; just the way you are”.

A very Happy New Year to you all and sending you all blessings of great new adventures, love and joy.

Photo Credit: Max Elman

Every once in a while we all need to take the time to do some self-reflection and evaluating in our lives. Maybe you aren’t as happy as you used to be or just can’t find that happy moment in your life that used to be there.

You might ask yourself: How can I find happiness?

Try looking at the little things- the first word from your child, a beautiful sunset or something else that while seeming to be small can bring a smile to your face even for just a minute. Am I looking for the happiness that is in my life? There may be a hidden “gem” in your life that you hadn’t even thought brought you happiness. As with the last question, it can be found in the smallest things….and when you least expect it.

Do I focus only on the negative events in my life? This isn’t to say there won’t be negative moments in life – it’s just a part of the overall human experience – but you can choose how negative events affect you and look for the positive ones.

Happiness is a perpetually present choice we make. Happiness can exist alongside adversity. Granted, some moments in life are happier than others. However, it is our personally empowered outlook of the situation that can make all the difference. True happiness comes from within and coexists with the ups and downs of life.

These are just a few of the questions you might ask yourself when it feels as though there is little or no happiness in your life. Remember to take the time and reflect as well as enjoy those happy moments. You may even want to make a happiness journal in which you write down one or two things that made you happy that day. Then when you have a low moment in your day, you can pull out your journal and reflect back on that event that made you happy.

Most people tend to get run down from all the pre-holiday festivities. This time of year is when the body and mind are exhausted and ready for winter rest. Rather than tax your system even more, take this opportunity after the holiday rush to relax a bit and allow the energy that you’ve sent out to family, friends, loved ones create a tone of positive and sharing energy for the following year.

Here are some tips to keep your energy high and healthy after the holiday festivities:

• Take daily baths with salt and a favorite essential oil (lavender, rose, or bergamot work well to relax the muscles and mind).
• Eat more greens. After such sweet filled days your body needs the regenerative qualities of greens. If you don’t like greens then take a scoopful of supergreen food blend and drink it in your apple cider.
• Make an effort to continue giving back to your community in the form of service or donations. Giving is wonderful and can be energetically cumulative by doing so on a regular and consistent basis.
• Take plenty of water daily to keep your body regulated and releasing toxins that have accumulated.
• Take a nap and allow yourself the luxury of no television or outside stimulus. This will generate a great deal of good for your body and mind and you will feel reinvigorated.
• Walk around the block a few times each day. If it’s cold then bundle up. If you don’t like to go alone get a buddy to walk with you. Take one of your children and spend time with them walking.
• Take 2 minutes a day and just do some abdominal breathing. Learn how to use your breath to restore your body and mind by taking a meditation class.

Now is the ideal time to restart and give your body and brain a boost for the coming year. Join me in giving your body, mind and spirit the refreshment it deserves and you will have the best year ever.

Desiring happiness for their children is a goal shared by most parents. However, when parents focus too much energy on ensuring their children’s happiness, they can unintentionally produce the exact opposite results. How can this possibly happen?

What the Research Shows

Although it seems that children who have their basic needs met plus enjoy many extras would certainly be happy, this appears to not be the case.

The United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention surveyed over 14,000 students in grades 9-12 in 2007. They reported “During the 12 months before the survey, 28.5% of students nationwide had felt so sad or hopeless almost every day for 2 or more weeks in a row that they stopped doing some usual activities.”

How do parents play a role?

Loving parents can unintentionally raise self-centered, unhappy children. One way it happens is when parents continually give their children the message that the children’s needs, desires and happiness are superior over anyone else’s. These children grow up learning to focus on themselves, not others.

I’ve heard many sad stories of parents who bent over backwards to give their children everything they could possibly want only to have their children grow into self-centered adults. These adult children often take their parents for granted and rarely pay attention to their parents needs. Instead they focus on their own needs.

One mom sadly explained how her 30-year-old son had flown home for Christmas. Mom had planned a big gathering and was busy with preparations. Her son left in an angry huff before the Christmas dinner complaining that his mom wasn’t spending enough time with him!

She reflected that she had always done so many things for him so that he would be happy. She didn’t think of asking for his help with dinner and clearly he didn’t think of it either. They both ended up being very unhappy that day.

What should we wish for our kids instead of happiness?

The answer to this question is discussed in Dr. Aaron Cooper and Eric Keitel’s book titled I Just Want My Kids to Be Happy! Why You Shouldn’t Say It, Why You Shouldn’t Think It, What You Should Embrace Instead. They analyze some of the negative effects of putting our kids’ happiness first and present healthier alternatives.

Based on their review of decades of research on happiness, they suggest there are eight key ingredients to authentic happiness:

• Good mental and physical health
• A life of meaning
• Closeness to others
• Acts of loving kindness
• A sense of gratitude
• A sense of spirituality
• An optimistic outlook
• Gratifying pursuits

They examine how parents can help their children develop in each of these areas. Ultimately building these skills will help our children achieve a lifetime of real happiness.

By Lisa Cypers Kamen.

With the new year just beginning, here are some tips to keeping the resolution you made for the New Year and how to be happy.

• Be specific. Instead of saying that you will “make friends” resolve to remember friends’ birthdays and anniversaries or friends’ kid’s birthdays. It will make things a lot easier for you.
• Write it down. Make sure it is somewhere where you will see it often – this will remind you of the resolution you’ve made. To go along with this…
• Review your resolution constantly. If your resolution is buzzing through your head, it’s easier to stick to it. You may want to review your resolution just before you go to bed at night or first thing in the morning, whatever works best.
• Hold yourself accountable. Tell other people about your resolution and score yourself on a chart or other method — whatever works for you to make yourself feel accountable for success and failure.
• Think BIG! Maybe you need a big change, a big adventure – a trip to a foreign place, learning a new language that you can use in that foreign country, etc. Anything is possible!
• Think small. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that only big change can make a difference. Just keeping your fridge cleared out could give you a real boost.
• Ask for help. Why is this so hard? You’ll be amazed at what asking for help can do, especially if you are feeling overwhelmed.

Do you ever wish your children were more motivated in school, sports or playing an instrument? Many parents try hard to motivate their kids by giving rewards to encourage certain behavior or threatening punishments. Rewards and punishments involve external motivation which children often rebel against leaving parents feeling frustrated.

Understanding Internal Motivation

Ideas about motivation are changing as new research teases out some of the key elements. According to Daniel Pink’s latest book, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, trying to motivate children using external rewards and punishment is a mistake. The secret for motivating children to high performance lies in allowing their own internal drives direct their behavior.

Pink describes three elements of true motivation:

• Autonomy – the need to direct our own lives
• Mastery – the desire to make progress in one’s work
• Purpose – the ability to positively impact ourselves and our world

For example, if you want your child to practice the piano more, try allowing her to choose when to practice, what music to focus on and where to perform that will bring delight to someone else.

Trying to Control Too Much

When we try to motivate our children, it sometimes backfires as they dig in their heels and refuse to buckle under the pressure. By attempting to exert control over our children’s behavior, we are reducing their autonomy – one of the key elements of internal motivation.

One mom was describing her frustration in getting her daughter to practice the piano. No matter how hard she tried her daughter sat on the piano bench refusing to put her fingers on the keys. This is a typical control battle and one that mom is likely to lose since her daughter ultimately controls what she does with her fingers!

How do we know when we’ve stepped over the line and are trying to control too much of our children’s behavior? Luckily children are pretty good at letting us know when we’ve stepped over that line. If you hear your child saying any of the following, you’re probably over the line:

• “You’re not the boss of me!”
• “I’m not going to do that!”
• “You can’t make me.”
• “Why do you always get to choose?”

At this point it is wise to take a step back and look at what we are trying to accomplish and consider other approaches.

Motivating to Perfection

Psychologist Robert W. Hill of Appalachian State University found that when people are trying hard because of their own desire for excellence, this effort can lead to greater satisfaction and mental health. However, if the pressure to perform is coming from others, it’s likely to lead to dissatisfaction and reduced well-being.

In the article “The Two Faces of Perfection”, Hill is quoted as saying

“Kids need to get the message, ‘You need to have high standards, but you don’t need to be perfect.’ If you have unreachable goals and you’re constantly dissatisfied with yourself, you can be miserable. Unequivocally, you don’t want a parent who is constantly criticizing, so the child develops a self-scrutiny that always finds fault with their own performance.”

While we all want our children to try hard and make good choices, in order to accomplish this we need to allow them to practice making those choices. Some of the choices they make will not be so good and that will give them an opportunity to learn from their mistakes.

By giving our children the chance to develop their self-motivation, we encourage them to grow and find their own internal strengths.

If you find it difficult to keep your resolutions and you have a habit of breaking them, try the following:

Make only positive resolutions, such as “Go to more movies” or “Have friends over for a meal.”

Make it something that you would find enjoyable to keep. Give up a resolution if necessary. If you find yourself constantly breaking a specific resolution then consider giving it up completely. Don’t let an unfulfilled resolution to lose five pounds block you from making other, smaller resolutions that might give you a happiness boost.

Every day keep your resolution. It’s often easier to do something every day – whether it’s exercising, laundry or something else. This creates a routine and a sense of balance in your life. Set a deadline – and Don’t give up if something interferes with that deadline.

Keep this quote by Voltaire in mind- “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”

If you decide that you are going to clean out your house, start small by tackling one room at a time. Maybe you’ll start with a smaller room first so you won’t feel so overwhelmed.

These are just a few tips to help you keep that resolution you’ve made for yourself. You may find other strategies that work better for yourself, and that’s okay.

Below are some of the things that come to mind for my family when things are going well.

Everyone is

• pitching in with household tasks
• joining the family for meals
• acting respectful
• feeling supported and loved
• remembering to let the rest of the family know where they are and when they’ll be home
• feeling like they have enough time and don’t have to rush
• healthy, getting enough rest and exercise
• having some time for fun

Do these things happen all the time? No, but when they do happen, our family atmosphere is more pleasant.

Beginning with Changing Yourself What changes could you make to your own behavior which would positively impact your family? Since you absolutely control your own behavior, you can make these changes happen!

Gretchen Rubin invested a year working on changing her life for the better. Each month she focused on a different part of her life and described her journey in The Happiness Project. She tackled things like going to bed earlier, organizing her things, asking for help, stopping nagging, acknowledging people’s feelings and taking time to be silly.

Each month she had a different focus. For example for April she wrote, “My goal for April, the month dedicated to parenthood? To become more tender and playful with my two daughters. I wanted a peaceful, cheerful, even joyous atmosphere at home – and I knew that nagging and yelling weren’t the way to achieve that.”

She thought of various ways to become more tender and playful with her daughters. She kept a log of her goals and regularly checked off how she was doing on each goal. Keeping a log gave her a way of staying accountable for her goals.

Changes that Involve the Entire Family

I’ve recently spoken to a couple different moms who are very unhappy with how isolated their family members have become. Although they all live in the same house, they rarely share time together. Most of the time, each child and parent eats dinner by themselves.

These situations have been exacerbated by technology – parents and children with their own computers, video games and TV. Over time each family member has become increasingly interested in spending time alone with their technology of choice.

Making changes that involve the entire family will take everyone’s cooperation. One way to begin the process is with a family meeting. Establishing regular family meetings is useful for making significant changes. Family meetings provide a structure that allows problems to be expressed, solutions to be brainstormed and implemented ideas to be evaluated.

Will it be easy? No. Will it be worth it? When someone in the family is seriously unhappy, ignoring the elephant in the room does not make it go away. In fact, the elephant is likely to stampede making a huge mess at the most inopportune time.

Choosing One Thing to Change

If you could only choose to make one change in your family, what would it be? You are more likely to be successful if you focus on one item at a time. Making any change takes time and plenty of practice.

It can also be helpful to find someone outside your family who can give you support on the changes you are trying to make. May this year be the one where your family makes many changes for the better!

Each day, with every action or inaction, whether intentional or not, we change the world around us. With every smile or grouchy comment, we affect others and as they pass it on, we change the world around us.

We’ve all heard the expression that we’re all one, and what we reap we sow, yet sometimes they sound like just expressions and we lose the meaning behind the words. But, when you go a level deeper, it’s so obvious that everything we do affects those around us.

If we’re snippy to the woman at the coffee shop, we affect her day in a negative way. She then passes along our negative energy and grouchy disposition to her next customer, until someone chooses to break the chain.

Fortunately, we also have the power to influence for good. Imagine walking into your local coffee shop with a smile and a kind, giving attitude. Be present and actually communicate with those around you. They will feel validated, cared for and happy and will pass THAT attitude on to those they meet throughout the day.

People WANT to be around those who behave in such a positive way. We feel good being in their presence, and many times, their behavior affects our attitude.

We create ripples by just being alive.

If we could follow the goodness we create with our happy, positive, upbeat attitude, it would be interesting to track the levels. For example, if we’re kind to the woman at the coffee shop, she’s then super sweet to the next customer who walked in having a bad day. Instead of that customer leaving and continuing with their bad day, they now take some love with them to share with their next interaction.  And so it goes, on and on, around the world.

With just one kind interaction, we have the potential of affecting literally thousands of people each day.

When we’re conscious of the impact that we have on one another, we behave differently. If you think about it, knowing that your next interaction will be passed on the thousands of people today, aren’t you inspired to make sure that it’s a positive one?

You hold the power in your hands to change the world. So please, for the sake of all of us, let’s smile, be kind and make sure that we treat each other with love and respect, creating happy ripples throughout the world.

So go forth into your day today and be the stone tossed into the lake, creating happy ripples wherever you go. And, know that it’s appreciate by all of us.

We have been receiving so many questions from members of our community that we decided to add a new feature to our site called Ask Gail. It is our hope that this information will be helpful not only to the individual who asked the original question, but also for the entire community. Please feel free to email your questions to gail+askinspiremetodaycom and we’ll do our best to answer yours in an upcoming post. Thank you!

Today’s question comes to us from Michelle:

“Okay all. I’ve been known at times as the “glass is half full person”, but the theory of abundance isn’t saving the Arctic, or the homeless, or the abused. I’m not a hand wringer, though. I put out my voice, take action, and share and donate time and money. I wonder how many of these new age philosophers, pulled themselves up or luckily had access to education or seed money for businesses. There’s a major piece of compassion missing here for everyone who doesn’t believe in new age spiritualism. Is their lack of belief justification for homelessness, being downsized, no medical care, food, clothing? Please respond.”

Michelle, thanks for your question. I have had the fortune to interview some of the most amazing people in the world for InspireMeToday.com, and some of the things that unite all of the them are their compassion and their strong desire to help others.

First, I can tell you from personal experience and from listening to the stories of countless Luminaries, that no one goes through life without adversity. We all deal with it in some form or another, but what makes us different from one another, is how we choose to react when life smacks us in the face. If you’ve read any of my blogs or listened to the interviews featured on our site, there are many luminaries featured who have come through hard times- me included. Personally, I gone through unemployment, bankruptcy, rape, divorce (2 of them!), while living in 10 states over the last 25 years…. and it wasn’t until I embraced some of these principles that my life turned around. Abundance is all around us- we just have to be open to it and see it before it shows up, or what I call “celebrating in advance”.

If I understand you correctly, you’re asking how people can talk about having abundance in their lives- and how easy it is to manifest, when the world is full of greed and people are starving. I get it. It’s a real quandary for many. We struggle with the balance of abundance, and many folks with whether or not they are deserving of wealth when so many are hurting.

I believe the best thing we can do is to have an open heart and an abundant attitude. In other words, create your vision and go for the things you want in life- material and otherwise. Your taking a deep breath of air doesn’t diminish my ability to do so too. Abundance is the same way, in that it is here for all of us. One person creating it in their life doesn’t mean that we can’t, and vice versa.

You’re right in that some people don’t have the desire or the ability to learn and practice these principles and they live a life of need. The best thing we can do to help them is to create abundant lives for ourselves (so we don’t use the resources for those truly in need), and also, to reach out to help those less fortunate. A homeless person’s lack of belief is not justification for being homeless, but rather, an opportunity for those who are blessed with abundance to teach and to share. The more abundance we create in our lives, the more we have to share with others.

I should also point out that being financially well off and living a life of abundance are not the same thing. Those that truly live a life of abundance are not greedy, for they understand that giving is an equally important part of receiving.

Sometimes it does seem counter-intuitive to “think happy thoughts” when you’re not, or feel abundant when your bank account is empty. But I can promise you that if you’re able to “fake it until you make it”, it works. Studies have proven that when you celebrate life in advance, good things come your way.

I hope this answers your question.

Hugs,

Gail

P.S. Please share your opinion on the topic too… by commenting below. Thank you!

Photo Credit: Max Elman

You are feeling stressed and it seems like you don’t have enough time to get everything done during this holiday season. You still have presents to get and you wonder if you will have enough money to buy all the presents for your family and friends.

Before the stress overwhelms you, stop for a minute and take a deep breath. It’s time to focus on what’s important during this time of year. It isn’t the things we have that matters the most, it is the people we have in our lives. Take the time during this holiday season to spend time with your family and friends and show appreciation to those people who matter in your life.

Another way to take the focus off of things and put it toward the people in our lives is to not focus on physical gifts that we exchange but on the quality time we spend with one another by playing games or singing songs. You will have fun and at the same time you will be saving money. You could spend time as a family baking your favorite cookies and sharing stories of past holidays while doing so, too.

Remember too that you can do something as simple as sharing a smile with someone – you might try doing that with the cashier at the department store when you are in a long line buying a present this holiday season. Smiles cost nothing and can brighten someone else’s day!

How often are your children thinking negative thoughts about themselves? Sometimes you know their thoughts are negative because they blurt out something like “I’ll never get this!” As they grow up, your children will be their own harshest critics. It is their own negative self-talk that they will hear most often.

Everyone’s mind produces a steady stream of thoughts. When these thoughts turn negative, fear, doubt and frustration quickly sets in. Stopping negative thoughts isn’t easy and it starts with actually noticing those thoughts.What are your kids saying to themselves?

What your children say out loud gives you insight into what they are thinking. You know they are engaging in negative self-talk when you hear things like:

• “This is too hard!”
• “Nobody likes me.”
• “I can’t do it!”

Whether our children are struggling with school work, relationships or athletics, their thoughts can help or hinder them. Peter McWilliams put it this way, “Our thoughts create our reality — where we put our focus is the direction we tend to go.”

Dr. Alison Arnold came to my daughter’s gymnastics center to work with the kids on the mental side of gymnastics. Like so many athletes, gymnasts need to be in control of their thoughts if they are to give their best performance.Negative thoughts like these wreck havoc on a gymnast’s routine:

• “I’m going to mess up.”
• “She’s so much better than me.”
• “It’s too difficult for me.”

When negative thinking takes over, the likelihood of getting injured is increased. You definitely do not want your daughter having negative thoughts right before she does a backhand spring on the beam!

How can you help your children change their self-talk from negative to positive?

There is a Zen concept called the Monkey Mind. It’s the part of your brain that races from one idea to the next, chattering endlessly, craving things, being unsatisfied and judgmental. Dr. Arnold used this concept to explain negative thinking to the kids. Negative thoughts are like a naughty monkey running away instead of focusing on the task at hand.

What can you do once you notice your Monkey Mind is off in the weeds? You need to flip your negative thinking.

Dr. Arnold discussed a three step process for flipping negative thinking:

• Take a deep breath.
• Think to yourself “Stop. Relax.”
• Say something positive to yourself like “I can handle this.” or “I am strong.”

By following this process, the kids learned how to stop their negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.

What are you saying to yourself about your kids?

It’s every bit as important to watch out for your own negative thoughts. One of the worst patterns parents can get into is continually thinking about their children’s faults.

One mom of three children complained she couldn’t stop thinking about how they really weren’t measuring up like she had hoped. Despite her children’s many achievements, she struggled to control her negative thoughts. This led to nagging them, lecturing them and pointing out where they needed to improve. However, none of her efforts seemed to change their behavior.

What you say to your children has a big impact on them. By making more positive comments, you can help them develop more positive self-talk. One way to do this is simply describing their positive behavior:

• “You sat down, got out your math book and started working on your homework.”
• “You shared the truck with your friend.”
• “You waited patiently for your turn to go down the slide.”
• “You helped set the table for dinner. I appreciate that.”

Practice making positive comments to your children every day. Your positive comments will help both you and your children focus on what’s right instead of what’s wrong. As your children spend more time thinking positively they’ll have less time for any negative thoughts!

We have been receiving so many questions from members of our community, that we decided to add a new feature to our site, called “Ask Gail”. It is our hope that this information will be helpful not only to the individual who asked the original question, but also for the entire community. Please feel free to email your questions to gail+askinspiremetodaycom and we’ll do our best to answer yours in an upcoming post. Thank you!

Linda asked….

“My thoughts of joy and peace are fleeting. Usually I am thinking and thinking. Unable to stop and smell the flowers. Although I do work on feeling grateful. Do you think it will start to come naturally? ”

Linda, any time we start a new practice, it takes a bit of time before it becomes a natural process. Our brain is literally wired the way it is because of the thoughts and  habits that we have formed in our past.

The good news is, we can rewire it at any time simply by consciously changing the way we think. It’s the same as joining a gym and wondering if you’re going to get in shape in a week. Gratitude, just like lifting weights, becomes easier the more we do it.  It’s all about creating a habit to form new neural pathways in our brain.

I truly believe that the number one thing we can all do to improve our own individual lives is to take the time to express gratitude.

In other words, make it a practice each and every day.  As soon as you wake in the morning, review in your mind the things that you are grateful for in your life. As you close your eyes to sleep, think of the best part of your day, and again, of the things that you are the most grateful for in your life. As we think of the most wonderful parts of our life, we can’t help but smile and feel good inside. From that good feeling, our thoughts and our behavior will change.

If thoughts of lack or yucky stuff comes up, don’t beat yourself up. Just let it go and return to the thoughts of gratitude. Eventually they’ll become second nature to you. And the coolest side effect is that your life will improve dramatically in all areas.

As you do this daily practice more and more, you’ll find that gratitude, peace of mind and stress relief will soon become a part of your everyday life.

So, tonight as you fall asleep, try this practice and let me know how it works for you. Thanks again for reaching out to us and for being a part of the InspireMeToday.com community.

Hugs,

Gail

p.s. Want to add your answer? Please feel free to add your wisdom below in the comment section. Thank you!

Optimism can and does make a difference. If you don’t believe me, try looking at others around you. By observing others’ optimism, you will most often find that those who are happy have a better outlook on life as well as being healthier- physically and emotionally.

Michael J. Fox has a book called Always Looking Up: The Adventures of An Incurable Optimist. He also had a primetime special of the same title in which he went around the world and studied people from different cultures and backgrounds, looking for the commonality of optimism….literally everywhere.

I know circumstances vary for individuals, and this is not to say that we should be happy all the time – or that adversity isn’t going to occur some in our lives – but happiness and an optimistic outlook really does make a difference in your overall well-being. It also is a gift that “keeps on giving” to others. Happiness is contagious!

Tomorrow when you get up in the morning, put a smile on your face…even if you are in pain or you just don’t think you can face the day. It should positively affect your family and that smile will break out on all of your faces before long.

Happiness is a choice that each one of us makes every day. I don’t know about you, but I would much rather be surrounded by two or three friends, co-workers or family members that displayed an overall positive attitude than to be surrounded by a room full of people who were displaying a negative attitude.

What if the world showed up for us in exactly the same way as we showed up to the world?

In other words, what if we start our day with thoughts of gratitude and only expected good things to happen. What if we see only the good in every person, and in every experience of the day? What if we see only the blessing in every situation?

How differently do you think the world would show up for us?

I’ve been experimenting with this concept and I’m convinced that the world will show up to match our expectations. 

Just in case I’m right…

…Instead of expecting everything to go wrong today, expect it to go right.

…Instead of cursing the things that aren’t perfect in your life, be grateful for the things that are.

…Instead of stumbling in the darkness, be the one to light a candle.

The world truly is a beautiful place, when we’re able to see it that way. Each day we’re given countless opportunities to show up for good. Don’t you think today would be a good day to try it and see what happens?

No matter what shows up on the outside, be positive.

No matter what others tell you, keep the faith.

No matter your bank balance, your marital status, or your weight, know that you are a child of the Universe, and abundant blessing are waiting for you. You deserve to be happy. 

All you have to do is show up with a grateful attitude and watch what happens. It seems so simple, when in truth, it actually is. :)

Thanks to Grzegorz for the awesome illustration! The e-card picture created by Grzegorz Łobiński for the EcardSphere project. 

I admit it. I’ve always considered myself a good listener. I was wrong. Not until I read Stephen Covey’s book, The 8th Habit, did I realize how limited my listening skills have been.

Perhaps my biggest mistake is trying to formulate a response while someone is still talking with me. Instead of giving my full attention to the speaker, I’m guilty of (1) allowing my mind to race ahead trying to solve a problem and (2) busy deciding if I agree (or not) with the one talking. In either scenario, I’m not fully engaged in what’s being said and therefore, I’m not listening effectively (and that has to change).

According to author Stephen Covey in his newest title, The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness, communication is the most important skill in life. Covey writes that people spend about two-thirds of their time reading, writing, speaking or listening. There is one of these areas, however, that takes up between 40 and 50 percent of individuals’ time every day. Can you guess which area?

It is listening. Covey shares that most people “think” they know how to listen because they do it so much. But the truth is, the majority of us listen solely within our own frame of reference. This author explains that there are five levels of everyday listening beginning at the lowest level include:

1. Ignoring
2. Pretend listening (patronizing)
3. Selective listening
4. Attentive listening
5. Empathic listening

The first four areas in this continuum fall within one’s own frame of reference. Only the last, Empathic listening, does a person actually “transcend your own autobiography…out of your own history and judging tendencies, and get deeply into the frame of reference or viewpoint of another person.”

Covey underscores that the primary need to feel understood is like the body’s need for air in the lungs. Unless and until a person feels understood (and listened to), you will get no farther in communication with that individual.

Read on to learn Stephen Covey’s practical insights on how to further develop your ability to listen empathetically (and well).

• Be sincerely open to what others see and why they see the world as they do.
• People react to new information based on their previous experiences and personal history.
• There are always multiple ways to interpret information, keep this in the mental forefront of every conversation.
• Frequently, communication breaks down because of how people define the words spoken. However, when a spirit of empathy is present, true understanding heightens.

Bossing children around tends to produce resistance instead of cooperation. How does the thought of being managed by someone else make you feel? Irritated? Angry? Rebellious? If you’re like most, you react negatively to someone trying to boss or control you.

Your children are no different. They also do not like when you try to control their behavior. You can test this out by watching their reaction to commands like “Hurry up!”, “Stop fighting!” or “Quit your whining.”

The role of a parent is similar to being a boss, manager or leader. If you shy away from being the boss in your family and try instead to be your children’s friend, that leaves your family without the strong leadership it really needs.

Considering the Characteristics of Your Favorite Boss

I was recently at a conference where the audience was asked to think about their favorite boss or manager. The presenter then asked what qualities made this person such a good boss.

These are some of the important characteristics mentioned:

• Empathetic
• Honest
• Generous
• Passionate
• Consistent
• Fun
• Dynamic
• Positive attitude
• Inspirational
• Compassionate
• Trustworthy
• Sense of humor
• Fully present

The qualities of an excellent boss apply equally to parents. By developing these traits, you can become the admired leader in your family!

Becoming an Admired Leader Instead of a Despised Boss

If you’re a parent with children at home, then you are the leader. It’s up to you to be in charge of providing for the family, making the major decisions in the family and setting firm limits for your children. Families become dysfunctional when parents abandon their leadership role.

David recently told me in exasperation about how his 13-year-old son does “whatever he damn well pleases”. He sadly explained that he knew his son need stronger boundaries but was at a loss as to how effectively to influence his son’s behavior.

For example, his son recently came home two hours later than expected. Although he yelled at his son, the next day his son was late again. While yelling in anger is a natural response, it doesn’t match the characteristics of an excellent leader. What else could David have done?

He could have approached his son with honesty and empathy while also working towards a consistent solution. David might have explained, “I was really worried when you didn’t come home on time. I understand you were having fun and lost track of the time. How do you think we can change things so this doesn’t happen again?” Involving his son in figuring out the solution will increase the likelihood of his son sticking to their agreement.

Establishing Yourself as the Leader

It is certainly easier to influence a teen’s behavior if you’ve established yourself as the loving authority figure when the child was much younger. For example, if you tell a 3-year-old you will be leaving a friend’s house in 5 minutes and then when the time is up he puts up a fit, you can simply pick him up and take him home. If you tell a 13-year-old he needs to be home from a friend’s house in 5 minutes and he doesn’t want to leave, carrying him out isn’t an option!

Being able to consistently set limits is a fundamental skill you need to have as a parent. Your children will help you develop this skill by continually testing for where the limits are located!

Being Trustworthy

Another quality of exceptional leaders is being trustworthy. As a parent you gain your children’s trust when they know you will do what you say you will do. When you keep your promises, your children can count on you.

For example, if you’re at a pool and promise to catch your child if she goes down the slide, then be sure to catch her! One 50-year-old woman still gets angry telling about how her dad told her he would catch her and then didn’t.

Likewise, if you tell your child that you will be leaving the park if he throws rocks and he decides to throw rocks, you need to leave. By following through with consequences, your kids learn to trust your words.

Developing Your Leadership Qualities

Developing leadership qualities is a lifelong process. Think about the characteristics of your favorite leaders and decide which one you would most like to work on. The more you develop your leadership skills, the stronger your family will become.

In this holiday season of giving presents, let’s not forget the greatest present we can give to another person… that of the gift of being present. 

Recently I was in a coffee shop in San Francisco, watching a group of people seated at a table together, all texting on their phones, to someone else. Chances are that if they weren’t with the friends they were with in person, they would have been texting them too. Yet, they were together physically, but still focused elsewhere. What a lost opportunity to connect!

We’ve become addicted to being connected, to the extent that we’ve lost the personal connection with one another- especially in person.

Next time you’re in a public place, be aware of the people around you and look how many are with friends, yet busy surfing, texting or otherwise ignoring one another. Then go do something different. Be present with those that you are with.

It is a true gift when someone looks into your eyes and devotes their full attention to you when you are speaking. It shows that they are genuinely interested in what you have to share, and that they care about you. It feels good to give this kind of attention to a friend, and doubly good to receive it too.

This holiday season, watch your behavior and notice when you’re being present versus when you’re just there physically. Be aware of the impact that your behavior has on those around you. Realize that one of the best gifts that we can give to one another is the gift of our time, our attention and our presence. 

Photo credit: Astrogrl

Save some money in a “rainy day” fund. Organize your responsibilities each day. You want to have money to spend and a plan for your life- even a simple plan can make a difference.

Simplify. Get rid of the things we don’t need; don’t buy things you don’t need. There will be less to clean and less stuff that can get in our way.

Smile, even though things may not be perfect. This can make a big difference and contribute to overall peace in your life.

Single out the people in your life who mean the most to you. Tell them how much you care about them. Tell your kids or others in your life that you are proud of them. Tell your spouse or someone else who means a lot to you how much you love them.

If someone who means a lot to you needs encouragement, share some with them. Helping others brings us success. Intend to hold back negative thoughts as these can hold us back. We won’t take certain risks if negative thoughts are coming up into our minds.

Intend something that you never thought or believed to be possible. The first step is usually the hardest. Once we’re on the path to success, our life will be filled with happiness.

Are you ready to transform your life? Are you ready to open your arms and bring an abundance of joy, love, happiness, and success and material wealth into your life? Are you ready to start living the life you want, not the life you have? You can change the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical patterns that are keeping you stuck where you are and preventing you from being where you want to be. Find the secret to enjoying your life more fully no matter where you are in your journey.

My mother would have been 78 years old today, had she not passed away from a very unexpected, very sudden stroke nearly 6 months ago. She went from a healthy, vibrant, active senior, still working out daily and riding her bicycle many miles each week, to comatose within 15 minutes and passing away within a day. There was no warning and no time to say “Goodbye for now”.

Three generations of Goodwin women

We all know that  our parents will pass away. It’s all part of the circle of life and is nothing surprising- until it happens to us. Then, life as we know it changes forever. Suddenly, we too become mortal.

It’s been nearly 6 months since her passing, and yet, I still can’t remove her birthday from my calendar on my laptop. I think it will be on my calendar forever, not to remind me of the sadness of her passing, but to celebrate the life that she lived. Even though she is gone in a physical sense, I will still celebrate this special day of her birth.

In so many ways, she’s still here with me now. The values that she taught me, the memories that we created together, the conversations that were ours and ours alone….they will be with me forever.

I learned something valuable from my mother almost every time we were together, and her passing is nothing more than another opportunity to learn from her once again.

She taught me that love never dies, that we’ll always be together with those we love, and that life is indeed very short.  She reminded me that life is fleeting and can be gone for any of us in an instant. It’s not something to ever be taken for granted, but rather, something to be truly celebrated.

For that reason, be kind to one another. Never go to sleep angry with anyone. Don’t leave things unsaid that need to be said. Forgive one another and yourself. Love one another as if today could be your last.

So on this day, Happy Birthday Mom. In honor of your birthday, I’m going to plan a special day to celebrate your life by doing something on my bucket list, since you never got to finish yours. Perhaps I’ll be really crazy and go skydiving with my friend Adam, or maybe just go skiing, or hike in the snow at Glacier National Park. No matter what I do, know that you’ll be with me in my heart.

Happy Birthday Mom…. I love you.

Sometimes we make things way more complicated than they are. Every marketer tries to sell us a product that includes a promise to reverse the aging process. In truth, it would be much easier if these products worked. But since they don’t…we have to rely on doing things the old-fashioned way by implementing self-discipline and doing some lifestyle introspection.

Like most people, I love shortcuts…but with health and aging, they simply don’t work.

Here’s what does…in three simple steps.

There are several lifestyle changes that can result in improved health and positively affect the aging process. Promise. And this guarantee comes straight from a physician who specializes in helping people age strong.

Read Dr. Christopher Foetisch’s recommendations for reversing the aging process.

Simple as 1, 2, 3…

ONE: Weight loss is one of the most significant ways to peel off the years, not only will you obtain the cosmetic benefits of weight loss, but you will also receive many physical benefits. These include less stress on your joints and back, reduced risk of diabetes, improvement in blood pressure, increased mobility, and better sleep.

FOCUS POINT FOR CHANGE: Concentrate on lowering fat and sugar intake for fastest results.

TWO: Get seven to eight hours of sleep a night. Caution: too much sleep can have an adverse effect on overall health.

FOCUS POINT FOR CHANGE: clock in your nighttime sleep hours, but do not nap excessively during the day. Researchers from the California Pacific Medical Center Research Institute found that elderly white women who took a daily siesta were 44% more likely to die from any cause, 58% more prone to dying from heart problems, and nearly 60% more likely to die from non-cardiovascular or non-cancer causes. Those who napped less than three hours a week showed no increased chance of death.

THREE: Address your stress, as it is one of the biggest factors in premature aging. Stress causes the brain to produce chemicals that directly affect health negatively.

FOCUS POINT FOR CHANGE: Exercise several times a week to add muscle mass and strength and also gain improved cardiovascular health. A study of 9,611 adults in Medicine and Science in Sports and Exercise showed that those who were regularly active in their 50s and early 60s were about 35 percent less likely to die in the next eight years than those who were sedentary.

I am honored to be a part of the Million Moms Challenge, linking millions of moms to mothers in developing countries throughout the world. No matter what country we live in, what we do for a living or whether we are married or single, the one thing that is constant for mothers worldwide is our unconditional love for our children. We all want the best for our children and will do whatever we can do to make their world a better place.

As a part of the Million Moms Challenge, I was recently asked to share my best tip for raising healthy children. Although my children are now young adults, I still remember the words of a wise physician, as he spoke to my then 12-year-old daughter years ago. He gently explained to her that everything she was putting into her body was creating the 13-year-old she would become in the next year.

Each soft drink or sugary treat wouldn’t provide the nutrition needed to feed her hungry growing cells. This doctor explained that if she really wanted a strong, beautiful body with glowing skin, she needed to be wise with her choices each day. He helped her to understand the consequences and benefits of her decisions.

As I raised my children, I often thought of those wise words. Wanting to give my children the greatest advantage in life, I taught them how to eat healthy. I taught them the damages of smoking, drugs and artificial substances.  As I encouraged them to make wise choices, I helped them to understand that they were responsible for creating the kind of body they chose to have, not only in the next year, but for many years to come.

So many times kids feel powerless, as they have to listen to whatever their parents say, and feel as if they have little choice in many aspects of their lives. They’ll sneak things that are prohibited, just because they can.

By teaching my children about nutrition, they were empowered to make wise choices for themselves, knowing that their decisions today would impact their world tomorrow.  It wasn’t about what mom told they could or couldn’t do- they made smart choices that would affect their future, because they understood the benefits of good choices.

This gift has helped them grow into strong, healthy young adults. Now, as that information is passed on to my granddaughter, it will help her to do the same thing.

I believe the greatest gift we can give to our children is to instill the belief that they can achieve anything and the knowledge that they are loved.  Add to that the education to make wise nutritional choices that includes an abundance of fresh, organic fruits and veggies, and you have the recipe for healthy, happy children, both inside and out.

What’s your greatest tip to raise healthy children? By replying on the Millions Mom Challenge, you will be entered to win an exclusive Million Moms Challenge Gift Pack, which includes an iPad2, a custom-made Million Moms Challenge pendant and a $50 donation in your name to Global Giving.

Please show your support for the Million Moms Challenge by liking MMC on Facebook.

I look forward to reading your comments and thank you in advance for sharing your tips with all of us.

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Million Moms Challenge. The opinions and text are all mine. Contest runs November 14 to December 18, 2011. A random winner will be announced by December 20, 2011.

Official Contest Rules

Photo Credit: DeusXFlorida

By Lisa Cypers Kamen.

Does a person have to be happy all the time?

Can you expect there to be no negative experiences in your life? There will inevitably be negative events and experiences in life. It’s just the way things are – and things can happen in life that we never expected.

The loss of a loved one, the end of a marriage, a move to anew cityor country… the list of possibilities is endless. One person’s negative experience could be someone else’s positive. It also depends on how situations are dealt with.

Optimism contributes to a healthier, happier life. That doesn’t mean that there will never be negative things in life nor does it mean that someone has to be happy 24/7.

Happiness, like other things in life, is a choice. You can choose to be happy or unhappy, just as you can choose an outfit, how much money you spend, or what recreation you want to engage in. Choose happiness.

Reminding myself here… to be an advocate for those on both sides of the medical arena with my attitude and my actions.

With time at an all time premium, it only makes “cents” to learn the best ways to communicate with every physician’s office (for your sake and that of the office staff). Just about everyone has had at least one experience when they’ve felt frustrated waiting longer than they anticipated. This waiting too long can be felt in both in the scheduling department and the literal waiting room itself.

While everyone’s time is valuable, it appears that mutual understanding is not nearly so equitable. Patients grouse and complain about not getting their needs met fast enough. Physicians and their staff grow weary trying to explain and accommodate these same patients. Individuals from either position end the day exasperated and feeling misunderstood.

The remedy? Examine the cure-all (for every disagreeable bone in your body) listed below and see if they don’t cure what ails you in the attitude department.

When Scheduling Physician’s Appointments Always:

1. Be realistic

Society in general tries to cram 30 hours of work into a 24-hour day. Patients often schedule appointments on top of other appointments and then become frustrated if something gets thrown off track. (Always leave enough wiggle room.)

2. Don’t wait until the last-minute

People frequently wait until the last-minute to call for an appointment or prescription refill and then become frustrated when they are not accommodated accordingly. From an office standpoint, extenuating circumstances are understood. However, it is very frustrating when a patient calls the last-minute with a request that should/could have been addressed sooner.

3. Be understanding of others and their situations

It is difficult when someone is in pain or in a hurry to think of other people, but patients need to realize that doctors often run behind because they have had an emergency add-on or someone else needed a longer appointment. If patients would step back and understand that somebody else was in greater need on that particular day, it would ease tensions all around.

4. Communicate effectively

This goes both ways, for patients and office staff alike. People can get so much further if they just communicate in an effective manner. Common courtesy and honesty goes a long way (in the doctor/patient relationship as well as in life in general). Unfortunately, some patients think being difficult is what works.

While this may produce a desired immediate result, it is not worth the long-term compromising of one’s relationships and reputation as a reasonable patient.

Photo Credit: Ramsd

Just like the energy of a stream it is difficult to quantify the power of the stream until you put something in its way. Something in the way of a stream can be a waterwheel or a dam. If you put in a dam, then you are stopping and starting the flow. If you put in a waterwheel, to handle the energy of the stream, then you’re accentuating the energy of the stream.

The same energetic principles apply to marketing. Marketing is somewhat difficult to quantify but it is a basic necessity of any business. If you think you can survive without marketing or the energy placed behind marketing, then you are stopping the energy of flow into your business.

Think about energy and marketing as what you have to share with the world. If you are constantly out there and present in some way, whether it is via referrals, networking, social media networking or the print, blog or television media then you are creating the opportunity for flow. If you are not doing one or any of these, then the flow is either very slow or it is non-existent.

One other aspect of energy and marketing is the flow that you are in personally. This is the very thing that makes something go viral when there seems to be no rhyme or reason. This is the unseen and subtle energy that comes from faith, meditation, clarity, inner resolve, certainty etc. that makes things go that much more easily.

One of the ways that I love to market is through my daily meditation practice, and one of the ways that I’ve helped my clients grow their businesses is through the Learn to Meditate in 2 Minutes process on which I wrote a book. This is the most cost effective methodology of gaining the energy to and for marketing.

The times are strange and out of joint. It’s in the air. We can sense with disquiet that the balance of things is shifting. Even the weather seems disordered and in flux. The old order is faltering, and we look at the world around us with alarm and confusion. Many of us feel weary and overwhelmed, unsure of how to cope with everything that’s happening.

Often the path to positive change comes through a crisis. When our lives are spinning out of control, we finally pay attention. While no one wants to endure these hardships, if we use this time as one of learning and awaken to the clear realization of what’s truly important in life, maybe we can get back on track.

I believe that it’s critically important for us to change our perspective in order to see the world and ourselves in a new light. The practice of self-reflection allows us to gain insight into our own lives and enables us to lean into this time of upheaval. Some of us are even finding ways to embrace it. We’ve come to be grateful for the challenge, seeing it as an opportunity for growth, acquiring new skills and developing new talents. We’ve begun, in fact, to live life like it’s a momentous occasion of wonder.

Ask yourself this question: what do I believe? Have your beliefs allowed you to acquire a positive view of the world and your place in it? Or, are your beliefs rooted in negative thoughts that hold you back from real happiness? If the latter is true for you, you’re not alone.

Over a lifetime, we accumulate memories and experiences that can do one of two things. They can be a comfort to us and propel us on in this life with hope or they can hold us back and prevent us from achieving true contentment. It’s not easy to redefine what we believe. The very act brings into question all we think, feel, and are. But if we don’t pause and reflect on our beliefs at regular intervals throughout our lives, we can lose perspective – and peace of mind.

All it requires is a little time and the willingness to look at who we are, where we’ve come from, and how we wish to move forward. The secret is to believe in our potential, to be fearless about discarding the old, limiting beliefs that imprison our minds and to hang on to the beliefs that empower us and set us free.

When I work with clients, we uncover their particular belief systems. Our prevailing beliefs or what we refer to as “mental models” are there, waiting to have light shed upon them. Only by examining them, fully understanding their impact and becoming conscious of how our belief systems affect our behavior, do we have any real chance to change them. And yes, we can change them. Once we come to understand the impact of limiting beliefs, it is easier to change them – and be free to walk with buoyant steps as we proceed on our life’s journey.

In my new book KENSHO: A Modern Awakening, Instigating Change in an Era of Global Renewal, I present some of the many ways to incite positive change and the myriad reasons for harnessing optimism. I’m thrilled to have unearthed the stories of some of the many remarkable people around us today who awaken us with their transformative vision.

Now it’s your turn… I want to hear your stories. Do you have an inspirational story of change and transformation? What was the pivotal point that led you to shift a limiting belief? Let us know at steinbrecher.com and enter our “Awakenings Contest” for a chance to win a weekend stay in a Presidential Suite at the Gaylord Texan Resort and Convention Center – plus plenty of other great prizes from the esteemed experts that are featured in Kensho: A Modern Awakening.

My sincerest wish is that you may be inspired to discover what is at the heart of Kensho: a joyful awakening to the interconnectedness of all beings in the world and the marvels that lie within our very selves.

By Lisa Cypers Kamen.

How many decisions do you make in a day?

From fast food, to text meetings to tweets that blow up our phone we are inundated with media. Compounding that, we live in a world full of choices – more so than any other time in history. From our hairspray to our hamburgers, it seems that the more we seek the more choices we have.

Choices can empower us and choices can overwhelm us. In our instant gratification society, where the choices come fast and furious, where do we begin in making the choices that impact our daily lives?

I would like to offer to you the notion that sometimes choice is best served by choosing to do nothing. There are days that seemingly never end and for those days I choose rest. Yes, you heard me, I choose rest. I shut off the computers and the TV. I unplug my kids from their iPods and their Playstations. I close the curtains on the chilly day, build a fire and I rest. My kids rest with me. And for a few precious hours we are just in a state of being.

No music. No TV. No books to read. No talking. When this happens, I find that we all end up on one couch under one blanket.  One family resting. It’s at these still moments that I feel the energy of my family. I feel the love that binds us. It doesn’t last long as the bickering soon begins between my kids, but for that brief moment in time when all is quiet, our bodies recharge.

Soon we are back to our baseball, riding lessons, and trumpet recitals lives and the days pass in a blur. But from time to time, one of my secrets to happiness is to stop. Choose to do nothing and in it you begin to find everything you need.

On October 10th, 2010, at 10 a.m., I took a positive step forward on the journey towards biodiversity. I walked as a POWER (Protect Our Water and Environmental Resources) Youth Caucus volunteer for the Halton Hills Trek to bring awareness to climate change on 10/10/10, which is a global day of action on the 10th day, 10th month and on the 10th year of the second millennium. This initiative was organized by the Sustainable Halton Hills and POWER.

Harnoor volunteering at POWER Youth Caucus

When I look back from 10/10/10 to 10/10/11, I feel proud of myself for the steps I have taken towards positive changes in biodiversity. Here are some of the actions I have taken:

On May 22, 2011, I spent the day at Georgetown Marketplace Mall celebrating the International Day for Biological Diversity. It was a fun and amazing experience. I asked people to sign a petition to support valuable species and biodiversity and also to stop the Quarry from damaging the environment. I handed out baby red pine trees in little environmentally-friendly pouches because they were made out of recycled paper. I also gave children activity books which had 52 actions everyone can do to help the environment. Some of the 52 actions in that booklet included turning your lights off when you are done with them, following the three R’s: reduce, reuse, and recycle, and turning the tap off when it’s not in use.

For those who did not want to sign the petition, I offered them buttons, calendars, and educational brochures that described Canada’s natural forests and biodiversity. I also gave out some youth caucus membership slips for those interested in joining the group and helping the environment.

Teachers were interested in the educational material designed to promote “green actions” in their schools and to discuss these actions with their “green team.” One green action was putting up little signs indicating what does and does not go in the garbage and recycling bin, which would be a tremendous action to boost one’s school’s eco level. Teachers can also have prizes to give away to classes that have the least garbage at the end of the week. These are just some types of green actions that can be done at one’s school.

I volunteer for POWER Halton and Willow Park Ecology Centre. Both groups, like most environmental groups, are always looking for volunteers to help with their organizations. You can volunteer too! It is very rewarding to know you are making a positive change and supporting the environment.  Make your community greener by joining local environmental groups and making small changes in your own life!

Harnoor is a young volunteer and activist. View his profile on InspireMeToday.com for more information.

By Lisa Cypers Kamen.

Are high-achievers happier than the rest of the population? Is there a relationship between goal achievement and happiness?

Curiously, there are people who have achieved great things in life but aren’t necessarily happy. Conversely, there are those who have achieved very little by today’s standards yet seem to be quite content.

This is a question worthy of contemplation. An ever broader question pertains to the concept of one’s purpose beyond the concept of goal achievement. If we feel we have a purpose in life, are we happier? If our existence serves others, do we experience a greater degree of happiness? And if this is so, should we be rethinking and redefining our goals and our purpose in life?

It seems that one question begs another. We need to sort this matter out. Indeed, our happiness depends on it.

This leads us to search within ourselves to find our own personal brand of happiness. When we are busily achieving our goals or serving a purpose, we feel energized and engaged. But once we have met our goals and fulfilled our purpose, what then? Are we satisfied?  Have we found that deep sense of lasting contentment? Or do we then go about setting new goals or seeking a new purpose?

It appears that our happiness may be conditional upon our choices and activities. Happiness, in this case, is based on external circumstances. However, quite possibly, happiness comes from a different place altogether. And the answer may surprise you. As with all things in life, we have a choice.

As we go through our daily lives we sometimes forget the importance of the people who have impacted our lives. These people have helped us learn and grow into the person we have become.

Sometimes we get stuck in deep ego thoughts about making decisions and worry about what “I” (me) will get out of it.

One of the main purposes in life is to experience our soul’s mission with others. Each soul that comes into our life helps us learn why we are truly here. It is through our experiences and interactions that we “remember” why we came into this life and what we are meant to achieve while in our human form.

For many years, I have studied the connection between the ego and the higherself. In this time I have found a simple and easy way to make decisions easy and less frightening. This quick process has positive outcomes and keeps us balanced on an everyday basis. I feel that it is time to share my little secret as it has guided me to the wonderful life I live today.

Listed below are the three questions I ask myself before making a decision:

• Am I about to take this action for my own benefit? (Whether the answer is yes or no, don’t do it!)
• Am I about to take this action for the benefit of someone else? (Whether the answer is yes or no, don’t do it!)
• Am I about to take this action for the benefit of all? (If the answer is yes, then do it! It is only when you equally value yourself as an individual, and the larger whole of the community, that your three selves are in balance and you are acting according to your purpose and authentic self.)

This process works in any area of your life. You will feel more comfortable with day-to- day decisions along with large decisions. This automatically gets you thinking in the “WE” rather than the “Me”.

Photo Credit: Max Elman

As I’ve personally benefited from these professionals… thought you might like to know more about who they are and what they do (for you).

The Physician’s Assistant: chances are your doctor has one. If he doesn’t, then a colleague of his certainly does. Eventually, you’re going to come face to face with one, but if you’re not sure whom you’re dealing with, there could be confusion, frustration, and some irritation tossed in for good measure. So what’s this illusive, often-misunderstand and occasionally maligned medical mystery component? It is your doctor’s new best friend. It is his colleague, trusted confidante and loyal partner. In short, it’s his PA (physician’s assistant).

Sweeping across the country as the fourth fastest growing career is the physician’s assistant and if your physician or specialist doesn’t have one yet, he soon will. These skilled individuals contribute to excellence in patient care in multi-faceted ways by shortening patient wait time, ordering diagnostic tests, performing therapeutic procedures, instructing and counseling patients, and sometimes prescribing medicines with their physician’s approval. In sum, a physician’s assistant makes everyone’s life better.

Not convinced? Consider this all too familiar scenario. You injure yourself and the dreaded trip to the local emergency room is required. Once you’ve been evaluated by the attending doctor and the appropriate protocol has been followed for your particular case, tests are run, x-rays taken, and medicines prescribed. You’re now handed the release forms with instructions to make a follow-up (or for further treatment) appointment with your own physician within the next few days.

No problem, so far. That is, until you try to get that coveted time slot within your slim timeframe. Frequently, patients requiring quick follow-up care end up waiting much longer than is recommended, even after being instructed by the medical professionals by whom they’ve just been treated.

Sadly, scheduling backup doesn’t limit itself to the currently ill or newly injured; it’s just as widespread for the bulk of patients seeking appointments for their regular check-ups as well. Waiting an additional month or two for an annual check-up is now commonplace; yet it is not nearly so frustrating or risk-ridden as when the need to be seen by a physician is urgent and ordered by another health care professional for optimizing the healing process. Therein lies the beauty of the physician assistant’s service to patients needing either preventative or palliative care.

If and when you are placed in the position of needing immediate, non-emergency care (and one day, you will be), your most advantageous edge at getting the promptest care may well come through your physician’s trusted PA.

From the every vantage point, it only makes sense for doctors to co-labor with a physician’s assistant as their job function is both comprehensive and complementary in easing the burdensome workload of the physician as well as that of the staff. Physician’s assistants likewise communicate with respective coordinating hospital and secondary technical facilities to provide faster care to those initially skeptical, but eventually won over, highly satisfied and grateful patients.

Specifically, what does a PA offer? Perhaps first and foremost in every patient’s mind is the speed to which they are able to get an appointment. Timeliness and flexibility in patient scheduling is a primary benefit. Says Dr. Christopher A. Foetisch, orthopedic surgeon at the Toledo Clinic, “When my PA is out of town, we schedule about fifteen less patients per day.”

Additionally, given that Dr. Foetisch is only in his office two days a week, his patients are able to secure prompt care through his PA who offers faster admittance to this practice’s expertise. Once in the office, patients can then be confident that the PA has access to all tests, x-rays, and prescribed medicines as well as any other pertinent medical information. The PA also confers with the doctor on the primary care plan while getting initial treatment started sooner.

So why then, after considering the above clear benefit to all concerned, do some physicians’ assistants run into initial resistance from patients? Sadly, a few patients react with a certain measure of skepticism when their doctor’s PA enters the room. Why? From a purely practical standpoint, people don’t like repeating themselves and after the nurse completes her brief survey of questions the very next person a hurting patient longs to see is his physician. But as Dr. Foetisch points out, “Patients should look at the PA as the door and not the barrier to seeing the doctor.”

Another more subtle bias that PA’s must overcome arises from the patient’s desire to be attended by someone he has built rapport and over time, trust. Most individuals select their doctors by word of mouth from someone they trust and respect. Thus, in a very real sense patients invest in their choice of doctor by way of making themselves vulnerable and open to personal questions as they subjugate themselves to his medical judgment. Once established, patients very understandably prefer their own doctor’s care to anyone else’s.

And yet as the general public becomes better educated on how PA’s bring greater immediate and long-term benefits to their overall healthcare experience, they will begin thanking them for their input and expertise and welcoming their contributory role to their overall health care process. As Dr. Foetisch notes, “The reality is that there is a physician shortage and physician extenders are going to be more and more commonplace.”

By Lisa Cypers Kamen.

Are you stuck? Are you waiting for the right things to happen so that you can finally be happy?

For many people, happiness is an enigma. Happy comes and goes, yet it is not something that is a constant in life. Yet it is possible for happiness to be one of the most dependable elements of your life.

When we get trapped in the little boxes we create for ourselves, we find ourselves feeling miserable, lost and alone. Maybe we think we need a new job. Maybe we think we need a new partner or more money. Maybe we think we need more time off from work or a nice vacation.

The list of “maybes” can become quite long. Maybe we should stop thinking so much. Maybe we should just make a decision. Just maybe, happiness is a choice.

Have you ever considered that your happiness, or your H-Factor, is a choice or a simple decision you make regardless of the circumstances of your life?

The interesting thing that happens when we surrender to happiness is that the doors around us start to open. Rather than finding ourselves trapped with now way out, solutions seem to appear and new opportunities find their way to us. We begin to see life very differently. Once we make the choice for happiness, we then take the steps that lead us forward on our journey.

Ultimately, choosing happiness will catalyze a chain reaction of new and exciting experiences.

I like to travel. I like to anticipate what I’ll experience when I arrive.

New places. New people. New tastes, sights, and smells.

Love the whole “new” experience.

I also like to ensure I’ll be healthy wherever my foot steps…and that takes a special kind of planning.

Any trip takes a good amount of preparation, but there’s an equally important pre-trip planning that should take place before every trip we take — and that’s planning to travel healthy.

If you’re not sure what that type of planning looks like, read on for specific recommendations offered by a physician who understands how making wise medical decisions while on vacation is just part of taking care of yourself (and your family).

Dr. Christopher A. Foetisch, Toledo orthopedic surgeon writes —

When planning a trip away from home, the last thing a vacationer wants to contemplate is the possibility of becoming ill while away. By making a few in advance preparations, anyone can help to ensure their vacation will be optimally healthy and safe. Read below to be certain you’ve prepared a wellness “check list” for travels in the States and overseas.

Before you go:

• Take a list of all medications and known allergies.

• Include your primary care physician and pharmacy phone numbers.

• Keep all medications packed in your carry-on, not in checked luggage.

• If traveling for an extended time, be sure to bring a refill.

During travel:

• If you or a family member becomes ill, contact the hotel concierge or someone you know locally to find out where to go for medical care.

• A referral increases the odds of getting optimal treatment. Don’t simply go to the nearest (or most convenient) clinic or urgent care facility.

Special considerations:

• Those individuals prone to illness should consider travel health insurance before leaving.

• Medical evacuation insurance is particularly helpful for overseas travel and can be purchased for a reasonable fee.

• Refer to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention travel site for specific information/warnings regarding the country you are intending to visit.

Final Word:

Despite what we read in the news, the United States does have the best medical care in the world. So given the option, do your best to get back home to be treated. As the old saying goes, “There is no place like home” truly applies to health care.

The greatest gifts, the most meaningful lessons and the most intense personal growth in my life, have come from the conscious practice of gratitude. I’ve found that no matter where I am in life or where I want to be, the fastest way to get there is with an attitude of gratitude.

There is always a reason to be grateful, for when we appreciate and celebrate what we already have in our lives, our hearts open, our blessings multiply and we discover a greater capacity for generosity, cheerfulness, and contentment.

A few years ago I had an experience that demonstrates the overwhelming power of gratitude.  I was part of a small group that gathered to assemble and distribute  “goodie bags” to the needy people living in the park in Santa Monica, California.

Our group met at a local shelter to fill bags with a toothbrush, toothpaste, warm socks, deodorant, a razor and other necessities. We were putting the items into bags, when a young homeless man in his 20′s walked into the room.

Thinking that he was being impatient and was there to pick up a bag, one of the men asked him to please wait outside with the others. Instead, he told us that his name was Josh, and that he wanted to help.

Surprised and somewhat ashamed of ourselves, we quickly welcomed him. As we worked side by side, he proceeded to share that he’d been homeless for a few months. Just the night before, he’d been beaten and robbed of his last few dollars, his coat, his glasses and his shoes.

His came into the shelter not to ask for help, but rather, to offer his assistance. Josh told us that no matter what happened to him, he was grateful that he still had two hands that were willing to serve his brothers and sisters on the street.

We were humbled by Josh’s compassion and most of all, by his profound sense of gratitude. For most of us, being homeless was about the worst thing that we could imagine. Yet, here was a man that was not only homeless but had also been beaten up and robbed- and all he wanted, was to express his gratitude to us and be of service to his friends.

Somehow all of my “problems” disappeared. My perspective changed from worrying about the things I don’t yet have in my life, to extreme gratitude for what I do.  I went to that shelter to give, but I was the one who received. I left with the greatest possible gift- a tangible reminder of the power of gratitude.

Josh reminded me that regardless of my personal circumstances, each day I am given a choice. I can choose to wake up worried about the drama of life, or I can consciously shift my energy and perception and count my blessings. It’s impossible to focus on both at the same time.

The volunteers were so impressed and humbled by Josh, that after working with us for the afternoon, Josh left with shoes, a coat, a cell phone, a place to stay and even a job offer. The amazing thing is, all of this came from Josh being grateful for what little he had.

Gratitude helps us find the blessing, even in difficult situations or circumstances. When we feel gratitude deep within our souls, we grow as a person, the world is a brighter place, our attitude is uplifted, and anything seems possible.

Gratitude increases our connection to one another and to God, helps us see a greater bounty of blessing in our life, and creates even more things to be grateful for. Gratitude is the fastest way to move from where we are to where we want to be.

When one intentionally expresses gratitude at the beginning and the end of each day, we not only grow as individuals, but also, the world is indeed a very blessed place.

I’m curious to know: What has inspired you to grow as a person? By replying you will be entered to win one of two prizes! First Prize: $150 to a Local Spa, plus $50 Gift Certificate to the CerraBoutique. Second Prize: One of Five $100 Gift Certificate to the CerraBoutique.

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Cerra. The opinions and text are all mine. Official Contest Rules.

Photo Credit: Max Elman

By Lisa Cypers Kamen.

Focusing on now means that you focus on what is happening in the present. You can’t change what happened yesterday and you don’t know what tomorrow will bring so focus on what is happening right now. Focusing on now means that you focus on what is happening in the present. You can’t change what happened yesterday and you don’t know what tomorrow will bring so focus on what is happening right now.

Remember too that you can’t fix what happened yesterday and you can’t fix anything that may happen tomorrow. It’s all about now- you can fix everything right now. The things that happened yesterday and what is yet going to happen tomorrow can’t be changed. It’s all about focusing on the present.

If you are focusing on the past, including past mistakes or past hurts, you are going to bring lots of negative feelings to the present. What about your future? If you are looking at things you’d like to accomplish someday, then you are missing out on the joy of the present and all the moments you can experience right now!

To stay focused on now, think of the following statements:

• What you can do now.
• What you can say now.
• How you are feeling right now.
• What you want to happen in your life now.
• What you believe now.

Remember that this all starts with you! You can choose to focus on the present and bring happiness into your life. It can be as easy as you want it to be.

For the past several months I’ve been hearing from clients that they are exhausted. They aren’t feeling like they are motivated to do anything. All they want to do is get through the day and go to bed. One of the things they say is that their brains are feeling mucky and thick.

Could it be that summer had been pressing on everyone so much so that they cannot get enough rest when sleeping? Or it may be that the time change is afflicting everyone in a different way than usual. Maybe it could be that they are just deprived of oxygen. It may be they have something going on inside their bodies that is interrupting their sleep cycle. Maybe the stars and moon are misaligned?

Really it could be all of those things, but first and foremost if you are not getting enough rest while sleeping then your body will feel exhausted.

Our bodies need oxygen more than ever to counteract the imbalances of the electrical impulses that surround us. The brain deprived of oxygen creates a headache. It is just the same with the body. One of the first things in a sequence that can create crabbiness is the body is deficient of oxygen. It goes on from there that the body deprived of water, healthy live food, and rest will make it send excessive adrenaline into the system. Constant adrenaline running through the system is like an electrical charge that won’t stop.

Blood pressure rises due to constant adrenaline and can create the inability to get enough rest or even sleep. To get the blood pressure regulated, the body and brain must know or re-learn how to rest. Because most people live in flight or fight the body often forgets how to rest.

One of the best and simplest solutions I’ve discovered to remedy this is to utilize first your breath and second your hands and eyes. Through the rest of our eyes we can actually allow the entire body to respond to rest. If you will think of getting a massage and the therapist has placed a soft pillow over your eyes during the session this technique is similar.

Your breath is necessary to allow the release of negative energies, thoughts, programs, patterns and attitudes. With your lungs you are giving rest to your body and brain. With your breath into the lower abdomen, middle chest then upper chest and reverse you are resting your organs, which supply the needed balance to the brain.

Every night you need to realize that your energy has deposited on your bed. That energy you’ve deposited permeates the entire room and furniture of the room that you sleep in. When you clear out the energy from the previous night you are that much more able to sleep. One way I do this is to use my special clearing spray. This spray has brought many a good night’s sleep and rest to the body and the lungs ultimately bringing about rest to the entire physical body and restoring balance.

My daughter was born 30 years ago and I can still remember the first moment that I held her, as if it were yesterday. After 28 hours of labor I was thrilled for the process of childbirth to be complete, but I was in awe at the beauty of this tiny life. When she was placed into my arms I remember the rush of things that went through my mind, from overflowing gratitude, to how will I know what to do to take care of this precious child? I remember staring at her for hours then falling asleep while gazing into her eyes, holding her close…. Continue reading on the Million Moms Challenge site.

Photo Credit: Dave Stokes

When it happens to someone you love everything changes.

Several weeks ago, a very dear friend (one of those friends who can finish your thoughts or your sentences for you friends) found out she has cancer.

Breast cancer.

In all honesty, I didn’t know what to think. What to feel.

By Lisa Cypers Kamen.

Before you think of Cinderella and the three fairy godmothers, I want you to think about how many times you think about what you want or what you wish for. I want, I wish, and only if are some of the phrases we use to describe an ambiguous point in our future when we will have what we think we need to be happy. In the present moment, we are left feeling unfulfilled.

We are living with a sense of longing for a brighter future. We are hoping to change our current situation so that we can finally, finally be happy. And what are the things we need to be happy? A relationship? A new home? A new car? A new job? There are many, many requirements we have for happiness.

How long are we going to wait until we decide that we are happy whether or not our life changes to meet our expectations? Quite possibly our expectations are blocking the road to happiness. After all, we can be happy right here and right now if we choose it.

Our H-Factor, or our happiness factor, is not dependent on external circumstances. We live in a material world where success and status is measured by the quantity of material possessions we acquire, and this persuades us to believe that we will find happiness through acquisition of possessions. We spend many years of our lives acquiring the things we think will bring us happiness.

Of course, there can be great enjoyment and pleasure in material belongings, but beneath it all, this is not the source of our happiness. Our happiness comes from a deep and untouchable place within us. When we stop seeking the answer to our happiness from the outside world, we realize that happiness is a state of being that exists within us.

All we need to do to find nirvana is make a choice.  We can choose to be happy.  We ultimately find our happiness within the inner sanctum of ourselves.

Is it really that simple? Yes.

Your doctor wants to see you happy and from the moment you enter an exam room, the attention is centered on you as the patient. Your physician takes notes of your symptoms, your pain, and every medical reason for being in his office. As he listens, your doctor is also making mental notes on how to best diagnose and then treat your condition. He is developing a plan of action scripted just for you. It’s his job to help you get better and he’s happy to take on the role of caregiver.

What physicians aren’t happy about is when their patients ask for the impossible without taking personal responsibility to follow the step-by-step guidelines offered them.

It’s good to remember that once a doctor shares his recommendations and you come to an agreement, an essential exchange takes place. The responsibility has now shifted heavily toward you as the patient. When any individual seeks out medical assistance, the implication is that the sick person recognizes his need for expertise and intervention found solely through the insights and skills offered by a physician. However, what’s not so clearly stated is that the primary job of every patient is to see to it that he heeds the instructions given him by his health care provider.

We all have a tendency to look for shortcuts – easy solutions. We think life will be perfect if we lose 20 pounds, have a face lift, get a better job, find the person of our dreams . . . (fill in the blank). We put too much faith in passing fads that offer unrealistic guarantees—we will feel better, look younger, and have more than what we have right now.

While there is no magic elixir that guarantees eternal health, happiness, and youthfulness, there are many important tools that can radically change our entire concept of aging.

Fact is, aging is not about chronology; it’s about biology.

You can start growing younger tomorrow. The keys to feeling and staying young are within our grasp.

We need to be vigilant in how we protect ourselves and support our health. Environmental toxins alter our DNA. They damage our immune systems. They increase our predisposition to illness and disease. This means to avoid the foods, toxins, and even the people who sap our strength and distract us from our true potential and purpose in life.

Nature has provided us with a bounty of nutrient-rich foods that give us the minerals, vitamins, and antioxidants we need to be beautiful, strong, and living longer. By adding probiotics and fermented foods to our diets, we can ensure that these wonderful nutrients do not just end up as waste, but are assimilated and used by our bodies in the best possible way. There are cutting-edge supplements that turn the table on the aging process and will one day be mainstream.

And there are other choices that we can make right away to positively impact the quality of our lives.

We must get the RIGHT type of exercise. The right type of exercise keeps us fit and strong, improves our ability to fight off disease, helps us to cleanse away toxins, stabilizes our mood, and builds bone density and lean muscle. The problem is most people are not doing the right type of exercising. That’s one thing we need to change in the culture. People are actually aging their bodies with much of the exercise they are doing.

We must reduce stress and balance our hormones. Stress has been linked to nearly every disease we know and it cuts years off our lives. We need to slow down, worry less, relax more. We need to simplify, and that means not just getting rid of stuff, but de-cluttering our lives so that we focus on the things that really matter. There are so many techniques to actually open the doors to better brain wave optimization and energy flow in the body.

In fact, Nature has always been on our side, giving us the unique ability to self-cleanse—to get rid of the waste, impurities and toxins that compromise our health and cause disease. We have to change our approach, focus on the right foods and simple techniques to build energy, cleanse toxins, correct digestion, and conquer infection.

At 65, I look and feel better than I did in my 40s. People always assume the worst if you look and feel young. That is something we have to change as a culture.

We all make choices every day whether to build or deplete our energy, whether to treasure or wound the bodies that have been entrusted to us. Let’s start making those good choices today.

After years of research, Donna has compiled the most cutting-edge anti-aging knowledge that will change your life. The Baby Boomer Diet: Anti-Aging Wisdom For Every Generation and the companion Growing Younger audio/video series is a fascinating blend of break-through medical information, practical health advice, and spiritual wisdom relevant for people of any age. It juxtapositions today’s stress filled lifestyle with practical guidelines rooted in ancient principles. Change your life now!

Photo Credit: Adria Richards

By Lisa Cypers Kamen.

Here are a couple of self-reflection questions and secrets to a happy life.

Ask: If I had one day left, would I forgive the person who hurt me most? Could I do so without demanding any form of punishment? Who are the people in your life who deserve your forgiveness? You will be surprised how wonderful you feel when you forgive – you may feel free.

Miracles happen every day, when we least expect them. Have the belief that they can happen for you.

Your value isn’t determined by the amount of money you make or the clothes you wear but by the lives you have touched, the relationships you have and cultivate and by the kind of person you are. Realize the importance of those intangible things in your life: love, compassion, friendship and passion.

Ask: If this were my last day, how would I choose to spend it? Where would I go? What would I hope to see? Would I offer anyone an apology or seek forgiveness from them? What music would be the soundtrack of my final day? What is my life purpose and legacy? What is my perfect day? Go and live your life as if it were your last day. Do it now,

Hopefully this has guided your reflection and thinking as you live your life day-to-day. Self-reflection can have a powerful impact. Keep looking for those things that make you happy every day!

If you know me, you know I value sleep. Good sleep. Every night. No exception. Everyone has a weakness and mine is being able to rest soundly night after night…and when obstacles such as (my loose shoulder) keep me tossing and turning throughout the nighttime hours my mind can wander…and lately it’s been wandering back to a trip I took with my good friend, Mary. She’s going back to Europe soon. I am not. Sadness. But, I can reminisce about our two wonderful trips together and dream.

Here’s one snapshot of our travels….and how we learned to get a good night’s sleep far, far away.

On a recent dream trip to Florence, Italy, my close friend and I were treated to daily half day long art history lectures by a college professor whose passion for the topic of art is unparalleled. His enthusiastic talks left us both inspired and mentally exhausted. We’d then walk the streets of this ancient, yet so modern city, until we were worn out and so ready for a good night’s sleep. Back to the “self-help” hotel (as we lovingly dubbed this understaffed, yet pricey establishment) we’d wearily trek. Unlocking our door, we were surprised to find our room, not being cleaned, but used as the cleaning staff’s late afternoon gathering spot for watching Italian soap operas (on the edge of my bed, no less).

Though our room was aesthetically restful in appearance, it was frequently missing those bedtime ritual items such as toilet tissue, bath soap, pillows and blankets. Often, we didn’t notice until we were ready for bed. My friend and I similarly assumed that other hotel guests (and their crying babies) would be courteous enough to stay within the confines of their particular hotel room…not walking down the hall outside of ours all night long. Cultures are different and sometimes these differences can make the difference between enjoying sweet slumber or not.

We quickly discovered that if we needed something, we had to get it ourselves…and that revelation included making practical preparations for enjoying a good night’s sleep.

Given our rigorous daytime schedule, you’d think we would sleep deeply, soundly, and without interruption after having walked ten-plus miles during the day. But, sadly, we didn’t…even though our bodies cried out for rest and a rejuvenating night’s sleep…we didn’t rest well (and on some nights…hardly at all). Why? We didn’t prepare in advance. We took for granted that given how physically and mentally exhausting our daytime schedule was, we would plunk our heads on our pillows and be out within minutes. First mistake.

Sleeping in an unfamiliar hotel room (in this country as well as abroad) realistically requires as much advance preparation, as does the planning for one’s active daytime hours. As Dr. Christopher A. Foetisch, an orthopedic surgeon from Toledo, OH, observes, “It is best to keep to the same sleeping schedule when traveling as at home. Even when traveling from one U.S. time zone to another, try to go to bed around the same time even if it means getting to bed ‘early’ for that particular part of the country.” Attempting to stay up extra late or get up extra early to “get yourself used to” another sleep schedule usually does more harm than good, unless you are traveling overseas where the time difference is significant.

Our second mistake was making assumptions about how quickly we’d adapt to such unfamiliar sleeping conditions. Neither of us was used to sleeping with the other (me being the morning person and my friend being the night owl) and adjusting to opposite sleeping schedules and personal bedtime routines was tricky at best.

After several consecutive nights’ lack of sleep, we, in bleary-eyed fashion, realized we needed to apply some forethought (and fast) to the upcoming evening’s respite of sleep. Otherwise, we’d end up even more emotionally and physically frazzled. After a strong cup of morning espresso, my friend and I planned wisely. We’d duplicate our normal at-home sleeping environment as much as we were able…and give it a trial run.

If it didn’t work, we’d continue to make alterations until we achieved our ultimate goal: sleeping until the “self-help” hotel staff awoke us with their morning wake-up call. By the week’s end, we had our routine down pat…just in time to head to the airport for home. (And did we ever sleep on the eight-hour airplane trip home, pure bliss.

Tips for sleeping soundly away from home.

• Request a non-smoking room located as far away from the elevators and ice machines as possible.
• If you are traveling with a friend, make sure the room has two double beds.
• Consider investing in the cost of a private room for maximum quietness and personal down time.
• Bring your own pillow from home.
• Purchase earplugs if you are used to “white” noise at home to help block out sounds from the hallway or by a roommate’s movements.
• Consider using an over the counter or prescription sleep aid as needed.
• Unwind before trying to sleep, transition slowly from the day’s activity to night’s slumber. Read the Psalms, listen to soothing music, and spend time in prayer.

By Dr. Murray Grossan.

In Stressed? Anxiety? Your Cure is in the Mirror I speak of time travel for health and relaxation.

What works is to relax, then recall using five senses – smell, taste, feel, sight, sound and joy. When you do this properly, your body chemistry changes, sometimes significantly. If you recall that happy 18th birthday, maybe you will have a similar chemistry that you did then.

You can monitor this effect. Your blood pressure may change. Your pulse rate may change. Your white count may change too as well as your blood sugar.

As a medical student we gave one person a ‘fake” glucose test, as though they were ingesting lots of glucose. Then we measured the blood. They had the same response to the fake glucose that people get with the real one!

There are so many applications for this time travel with joy.

You have a pain from a mild injury. It hurts. Now visualize a fun experience before the injury. Some persons really benefit from this.

What I hope is that this will encourage researchers to try this on autoimmune diseases. Something –we don’t really know what—causes the immune factors of the body to attack normal body tissue. What was that trigger? Can we turn off that trigger? At this point, no one really knows, but it is certainly a field to explore.

For my patients I have had nice results with future time travel. For illness not responding well, I ask them to visualize going into a time travel device, coming out in the future and all the advanced methods, unknown today, are used to cure them . As detailed in my book, they see colored lights shine on them, they drink strange tasting concoctions, they hear and sense strange vibrations. There are pleasant smells. They feel warm baths and bubbles.

This too is a field I hope others will experiment with.

Although this sounds amazingly simple and easy to try, it requires practice. You need full relaxation and visualization and repetition to make this work. It is well worth the effort so you can achieve better health.

Photo Credit: Janet Ramsden

Every day when we turn on the news, we see a world that seems filled with sadness, poverty, loss and grief. We ask ourselves, over and over again, how can we live amidst such difficulty and pain? The task of bringing relief to the suffering often seems insurmountable.

The truth is that our hearts ache for those who suffer no matter where in the world they are or for what reason the suffering exists. Yet, as much as we want to offer support and assistance, there doesn’t seem to be enough that we can do to create change. However, we will endeavor to bring relief wherever and whenever possible. Our capacity to love is great.

The question is, how do we look upon the sorrows of this world while maintaining balance and joy within ourselves? How can we be of service when our hearts are breaking? These are tough questions for very tough situations.  Where will the resilience come from that will give us the strength and the courage to accept the world as it is? Is it possible?

Yes! It is!

We first must understand that we provide the most help to another when we are clear and balanced ourselves. Happiness is infectious. The human spirit is astonishingly powerful in its ability to choose happiness in spite of life circumstances. And life, it appears, is actually a menagerie of choices. Choices result in experience. Experience results in knowledge; our choices result in life experiences that ultimately bring growth, understanding and wisdom.

At the expense of sounding a bit philosophical, our power stems from our ability to choose. We can choose happiness. And once we do, we can empower others to do the same.

So, next time we find ourselves asking the question why, why, why?  Maybe we will quickly come to the conclusion, choose, choose, and choose.

When my kids were younger, each season brought with it a different type of sport. That meant fall, winter, spring and summer, they were participating (or just enjoying) varied kinds of physical activity.

As they got older, I started noticing that coaches were pushing for same-sport off-season training (year around). It bothered me for several reasons. First, I think kids need to explore a variety of kinds of activities to discover their giftedness (and they don’t know until they try new things). Second, the major push to be super competitive (at the risk of an athlete’s health) bugged me too. I’m all for athletic events and team sports if they teach kids to demonstrate good sportsmanship, a teamwork mentality, and it’s a health/strength enhancer (not detractor).

So, it was especially telling to me that some of my hesitations about year-round same-sport conditioning have a fact basis from a medical standpoint alone. Read on… you’ll discover some very good reasons for rethinking your child’s sports training regime as well as what to look for if you’re not sure when enough is enough.

Dr. Christopher A. Foetisch, orthopedic surgeon, weighs in on the trends he is observing between kids and sports training.

As a physician who specializes in sports medicine, I routinely evaluate kids with sports injuries. Over the past several years, I have noted an increase in problems related to overuse injuries.

• In years’ past, kids would play a fall sport, winter sport and a spring sport. This essentially amounted to a cross training program. Now children participate in outdoor, indoor and camps focused on one sport. As a result, their bodies are being subjected to repetitive stresses that result in overuse injuries.

• Typically, these problems are not serious. The child will experience pain in a particular body part that occurs after a specific activity.

• Occasionally, the pain will cause the child to favor or protect the painful extremity and this can lead to an acute injury that can be very significant.

• Parents need to be aware if the child is in pain at a level that begins to affect performance. If this occurs, the child should be rested for a sufficient period of time that allows the athlete to resume their sport without pain.

• If they resume their activity and the pain returns, the child should be evaluated by a physician experienced in sports injuries.

• Also, I am strongly in favor of children crossing training with different activities. I do not believe it is wise for a growing body to participate in the same sport or activity year round.

• I am commonly asked “How is my child going to get a scholarship if they don’t play and practice all year long?” My response is: “Schools do not give scholarships to injured athletes.”

As with anything in life there needs to be a balance. Certainly, in sports there can be too much of a good thing.

It’s the big human question, isn’t it? We all want to be appreciated for who we are. We want to be loved. We want to be wanted. But the underlying question is, “can you get YOU?”

In order for anyone to get you, the first step has to be understanding you who are, and this comes from within. Until you get this piece, you will never be able to attract to you those people who will appreciate you for who you are. Think about it—if you don’t appreciate yourself for who you are, how can you expect the Law of Attraction to work for you? And you can’t appreciate yourself until you fully get your own truth!

Most of us believe we are who people have told us we are, starting from the time we were in diapers. We have been raised to take on the persona that we perceive to be the one that makes us desirable to others, and along with this comes a whole slew of limiting beliefs, such as “children should be seen and not heard”, “it’s not ok to speak up because I might be wrong”, “if I was just prettier (or had more money) then they would like me”, etc. The list of erroneous beliefs we carry is huge, and it shapes not only our outward persona but our inner landscape as well.

Take time today to figure out your own truth. Start with what’s important to you—those values that you would defend at any cost. These are your core values, and the basis of your true self. Examine all your beliefs. Write them down and determine for each one where you learned it. If it came from anyone outside yourself, decide whether it still serves you and is appropriate for you to carry forward. Create a mission statement for your life going forward.

Now you are in a position to start to get to know yourself. Now you can project your real self into the world, and soon enough you will realize that by getting yourself, others will as well!

Photo Credit: Max Elman

Can we create a happy life for ourselves?

The key word here is “create.”  Do we cultivate a happy life when we choose to live a life of creativity and passion? Does the secret to our ultimate happiness lie in the mere choosing of it?

You see, everyone is creative.  When we expand our definition of creativity to include far more than the fine arts, we come to realize that all life is art, and we can apply our unlimited creativity and individual expression in any direction we choose.

At this particular point in history, we are at a beautiful crossroads for profound creativity to come forth.  The future existence of humanity depends on the birth of new ideas to change how we have been living up to now.

We must find new ways to fuel our vehicles and heat our homes.  We must discover news ways of healing the body, mind and spirit.  We must continue to make revolutionary advancements in education and government.  We must find new ways to sustain and purify our environment. We must apply our new ideas and creative solutions to boost our ailing economy.

It is incumbent upon us to cultivate our inherent potential for bliss. As human we have a great capacity for emotion. When we sow the seeds of joy we harvest happiness within ourselves.

Not to make light of any of the critical issues we are facing, but we can forage ahead in happiness in spite of these crises.  We can simply choose to be happy.  We can draw upon our-H-Factor.  We can then choose to use our grand creative potential to solve some of the problems we’re facing whether they are personal or global in nature.

We can, in spite of it all, enjoy the journey.

By Michele Howe.

Taking a misstep here would be fatal.

Taking a misstep in daily life happens more often than we realize (with perhaps not fatal results, but otherwise unhealthy ones.)

Why?

It’s so easy to lose our focus (lose our orientation) because of the demands placed on us by others (and ourselves.)

Keeping your orientation is one principle that crosses over into every area of life.

Home. Work. Health. Play.

Not convinced?

See how this phrase, “Keeping Your Orientation” put me on notice after a fast-paced morning in the operating room.

Not too long ago, I was given the opportunity to observe a shoulder surgery operation. While the entire morning was riveting, I keep recalling one specific step the surgeon performed at the outset of the procedure. Before the doctor could begin to repair his patient’s injured shoulder, he needed to correctly identify and mark the places on her body where he would make the necessary cuts. As he carefully felt around her shoulder, I later found out he used her bony anatomy to “keep his orientation.”

Interesting phrase, and what a great parallel to everyday life.

As busy adults, we’re frequently sidetracked from our main purposes because we have lost our orientation.

That is, we become so bombarded by overwork, busyness, and the stresses that deplete our emotional and physical reserves, that we lose sight of what’s most important. Our visual clarity becomes blurred, we grow unsure of what’s the next best step to take, and we grow so desperate for relief we end up simply living in survival mode.

Said another way, when we’ve lost our primary focus, we often relegate our decision-making to whatever’s easiest, closest at hand, or requires the least amount of resistance. Which, over time, can quickly become problematic on multiple levels.

In the same way a surgeon takes the necessary time to deliberately study his patient’s injuries, illnesses and weaknesses before carefully mapping out his plan to correct, so should we similarly take the needed time to plan our days, weeks, and months (to ensure optimal home, work, health, and play environments.)  Staying on task (while moving toward our main objectives) grows simpler when we routinely keep an eye balanced between today’s immediate responsibilities and tomorrow’s more flexible expectations (and we make adjustments accordingly).

Keeping Your Orientation in Three Easy Steps (So as not to misstep)

• Take a brief glance to the month ahead – know what’s coming, but don’t spend too much time mulling over the details.

• Keep an eye on the week ahead – make it a habit to do a cursory review of the next seven days at the beginning of every week, then issue verbal/written reminders to each family member.

• Pay careful attention to the following day – every night before bed make all necessary practical preparations for the smoothest possible transition into a new day.

I have had the pleasure of reading Inspire Me Today for some weeks now. Really good stuff here.

There are truly some outstanding ideas, like breathe in beauty. I have been telling my patients this every day with amazing results.

And jot down emotional experiences to have for today. That is an outstanding idea.

But I come from the world of brain wave recordings, MRI, and measuring electrical muscle output. I write in my own book that no one has ever been cured of stress by reading a book. You must have actions, movements, stretch and reaching, and writing and sketching. There must be physical actions: the more senses you employ the better.

When we train a surgeon, it makes little difference how many books she has read on surgery of the body – she is not a surgeon until her hands and brain have performed the actions.

When you read Inspire Me Today, if this particular inspiration resonates with you, plan a daily action to go with it.

For example, breathe in beauty. Why not plan at noon to spend several minutes doing this action? Breathe in the beautiful flower, the sun on a picture, a strikingly beautiful photograph. Write these down. No doubt after two weeks this circuit will be implanted in your brain – we can actually show that a new part of your brain is functioning.

Write a to do list for emotional experience. Do this daily on arising. But write it down. The sight of a sunset, the warmth of being with a close friend, writing that letter to a loved one. The ACTION of writing down your to do for an emotional experience will make this part of your being. For example the feeling of satisfaction when you walk up that long flight of stairs, or finish the gym class.

Don’t get held back by can’t and don’t. Enlarge your senses. Learn to identify objects by feel. You already do this when you fish for your keys in your purse. But if you enlarge this sense of touch, you enlarge your brain circuits. Identify objects in your closet by feel. Feel the clothes on sale, than look at the label to see if you guessed wool, cotton, or synthetic correctly.

Smell can be expanded too. At the perfume counter, identify the odor first, then look to see if it is jasmine or rose.

These actions expand your brain, your creativity and are much more meaningful than simply thinking about it. The idea of practicing the bow and arrow in your mind and then hitting the target is wrong; just as wrong as the idea of learning tennis by reading a book and seeing a movie. You must do the actions.

There is a reason why there are fifty actions programs to follow in my book. I get my patients to lower their blood pressure, not by thinking pleasant thoughts, but by daily repetition of actions like breathing in count of four and out count of six; or using the mirror to SEE the face, jaw and shoulders relax.

Yes, you can be inspired by reading the Inspire Me Today works, but in order to get meaningful use out of them, imagine you are learning a tennis serve: daily actions, some sort of coach (could be a mirror or a partner), some sort of feedback – every day you did it “better.” The number of good tennis serves gets higher; the number of “positive actions” gets higher.

Yes, and don’t forget the reward of an ice cream cone for a week of daily actions!

When was the last time you just said “YES” and went for something that you have always dreamed of like moving to a new location, leaving an old job and starting a business or creating healthier habits?

Some of us have been taught that we were not good enough nor smart enough to do and have what we want…. What if I told you that is a complete MYTH and a fixed belief that was taught to you by someone who has fear themselves and projects their own fears onto others (not intentionally though because that person was taught to be fearful from someone else)? Some examples of fixed beliefs or fears are as follows:

One needs a university or college education to be successful. As we know Bill Gates does not. Some people might not need a diploma to achieve their goals and some might. It depends on what your goals are. However that diploma does not define who you are, it’s just some extra training to do an even better job at what you are passionate about.

The early bird gets the worm. I don’t know about you, but when I walk the dog in the morning I see all the birds eating. I love sleep and sometimes I don’t always wake up early, which does not mean I am not getting that worm. In reality when I work on my own internal clock, I achieve more in a day… so I would say I get a large sum of worms.

What this all really boils down to is that your dreams and aspirations are YOURS and it is important to look at your options, focus and say “YES” to deserving to live a life that you love.

These fixed beliefs/fears are just warning signals that you are on the right path; I tell my clients that it is just your ego giving you an option, which is what the ego’s role is. You see the ego tells you everything you are NOT, so that you can remember who you are. So when a fear or a fixed belief presents itself in your life, it actuality means that this fear or fixed belief will be something great that you will achieve.

I remember having to do a scene from Shakespeare in grade 10 and reciting it in front of my entire class. I read that scene at least a hundred times and when it came to my turn to do the scene I forgot most of what I was trying to memorize because I was so nervous. As I stood up there shaking in my boots, my teacher said “You can stop there Tara, speaking in front of people really is not your strong suit.” I remember feeling so low and my ego made me feel even lower.

Something magical happened later that day after I had a good cry, I heard this little voice say to me “You are already great at speaking; you just need to believe that you are.” I shrugged off that little voice and tried to avoid speaking in front crowds through most of the rest of high school.

The most interesting things kept happening to me though, I kept getting asked to speak out my assignments or read out loud in most of my classes. The more I tried to avoid it the more the situations kept coming to me to speak in front of crowds. Every time I got nervous I reminded myself of that little voice that said “You are already great at speaking, you just need to believe that you are.” I was able to feel more confident over the years and now I speak at filled events and conferences on a regular basis.

That day in grade 10 was one of the greatest blessings I received from that teacher’s comment. She gave me a gift by projecting a fear upon me and that fear allowed me to grow and learn even more about my ego and that your ego just gives you the opposite of who you are and to remember why you are here and what you are meant to do in this life time. I am sure you can all see from this story, one of my life purposes here is to speak and share knowledge to help others move past fear and fixed beliefs.

Now I ask each of you to think of a fixed belief or fear that you might have and say “YES” to following the steps to let go of that fear or fixed belief to achieve your goals and dreams. Your fears do become your greatest accomplishments.

Happiness starts with you. It is all about your attitude toward life and the situations you face in daily living. You have to look at what you have accomplished in a day, a week, a month, etc. – not what you haven’t accomplished. If you are having trouble finding happiness in your day and it seems like your attitude is shifting to negative things, here are a few tips for you:

• Try to change the way you look at things by looking at the bright side.
• Focus on solutions, not the problems.
• Listen to music that will lift you up, not bring you down.
• Watch a comedy movie when you are feeling down; it will make you laugh.
• Take a few minutes out of your day to read something inspiring.

When you start to think about negative things, try to change those thoughts to something positive.  Always look at what you have accomplished, not at what you haven’t.

Every day, do something good for yourself. It can be something as simple as buying a book, eating something you enjoy, or watching your favorite TV show.

Every day, do at least one thing that makes others happy. You could help out one of your colleagues at work or offer a word of kindness to someone.